You know to make you feel better... I was like your BF, my girl took care of me, and I took that for granted, I stopped caring about our relationship and she slowly slowly got fed up, this is how it hit me

- She started doing her own thing, got back w/ her old girlfreinds
- she QUIT! Calling me and texting me
- she would only talk to me when I called and texted her, but w/ mysterious words like sup, k, chillin, nottin words that made me wonder how she's doing
- she basicallly showed me she was happy w/out me and made me think she was happy w/out me also

It took me 1 I/2 months to relise what she meant to me, and when I told her I'm sorry she said no she said she was happy and wanted to be friends, that made me want her even more, after time were going back together w/ a struggle but it showed me how much she really meant.

Basically what I'm trying to say is your boyfriend knows you love him he knows that he can screw up and you'll take him back w/ open arms, Its time for you to make some changes show him two can play, kind of play him at his own game. It got to me real bad I'm pretty sure it happens to everyone - you don't know how much they mean till you loose them- good luck

Jerks don't care who they hurt, guys who care do.

(PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE A MAN)

Hi girls,
It is well known fact that men desire what they cannot get easily. If their girlfriends are too nice or accommodating, they do not even try to give back or appreciate since there is NO challenge 'after they got the gf'! I will pass the top secret for you to be successful in the relationship since it seems so many nice girls heart broken here. (I was one of them 4 years ago by myself, but I am happily married now.)

1. Equipped with high self-esteem, and follow your inner desire NOT his! We all respect people who love themselves. Don't be used, but worshipped. Don't be afraid say no NO if you do not like what your man asks or does. Don't chase men but be chased. REMEMBER THIS. Men have desire, and they have to come back to get us. Relax and wait. Do not call men, but make them call you (it is just like NC. When we do NC, men have to come back to check us out to figure out what is going on... )
FYI.
I have married to a millionaire who is pleasing me with his full heart. We were in long distance relationship, but he had to drive 4 hours to see me EVERY WEEK for 2 years non stop. I did not drive to his place AT ALL until we got engaged. It is 100% truth. Go figure! I am also very well known that I never initiate to call men. But if he calls, I return it with my sweetest voice. Make them wonder and anxious. When man are nervious, they do their best to get 'the girl'.

2. Another secret. Take care of yourself VERY WELL. Make yourself absolutely beautiful, desirable, skinny, healthy, and feel confident. He has to come to see you because you are so attractive and magnetic! Don't spend your time to accommodate him but invest it to yourself. Do exercise, read books, listen to the music, take classes, learn new things, develop your hobbies etc. EVEN WHEN YOU ARE IN RELATIONSHIP. It will make you happy & completed without him, and it makes boyfriend anxious. DO NOT cut out the activities to see him even though the relationship goes very well. (Sadly, most of nice girls scarifies their fun activities for men... ) If your happiness is depend on his mood, he will be pressured. It is not healthy. Put myself & my happiness in the center, not him. Once again, If I played the dedicated 'nice' girl, my husband (back then my bf) probably did not worry that much to loose me or rush to marry me.

3. When your man does something you like, flirt with him like crazy & give him the best treatment. Men like rewards, and you can control your man by rewarding him but not nagging him. Very simple! (For example, on the first date, I said "wow, you drove 4 hours to see me? Nobody ever done that for me! You are the best ever! What else are you doing the best to knock me out?" ---> result: he drove for 2 years!)

==> "If you give him a feeling of power, he'll want to protect you and he'll want to give you the world" and "A little distance combined with the appearance of self-control makes him nervous that he may be losing you." Quote from the book.


Please read the book:

Why Men Love es: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship (AMAZON.COM)
Amazon.com: Why Men Love es: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship: Sherry Argov: Books


From Happily married woman

P.S.
I asked my hubby a week ago "honey, what is your hobby?"
His answer: "You are my hobby because you are so complicated, and have everything in you to make me happy."
Well, his hobby is actually aviation (he has a own airplane), sailing and fishing. But he put me in the top priority, because I put myself in the top priority as well.

I agree with most of your points winding2000, however I have no idea why him being a millionaire has anything to do with this. And being skinny has nothing to do with it either... some people aren't genetically meant to be skinny... the key is how you feel about yourself, feeling beautiful and attractive... which I'm sure is what you meant to get across.

And it has nothing to do with men or women, which other people have mentioned. I have actually read more from men on these boards about women who burn them and they've treated them like gold. I know you're not trying to start a gender war here, but man/woman does not matter.

The truth is, you're not going to get him to realize anything. Nobody wakes up and realizes what a jerk they've been and how they haven't treated you right. One book I read says a lot of times we seek partners out according to what their potential is, not who they are right now. A lot of times we have this notion that they're going to change over time and be the person you want them to be. Instead of that, accept the person for who they are and assume that they will NEVER change.

It sounds like you cannot be in a relationship with this type of person, so I would also advise you to leave him be, don't talk to him anymore, and work on YOU. Have some fun and do things that make you happy as an individual.