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-   -   Unrequited love with a girl (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=831259)

  • Apr 24, 2017, 12:50 PM
    iloveicedtea
    Hi everyone, I have an update. After since that situation ended, I haven't spoke to that girl.

    I've told my best friend everything, and one thing after another me and her sort of got involved. We became very flirty with each other and ended up crossing the line of friendship. She started telling her friends that was she involved with me and that we were together.

    The other day,just out of the blue, she told me that she can not continue this because God is her main priority in life and what we were doing were making her feel guilty. It did not sit well with her conscience.

    She told me she wants us to remain bestfriends and still be very close but not in that way. She says I'm very important to her and she cares for me.

    I have yet found myself in a deep state of confusion and I am unsure of what to do once more.

    I guess I would rather keep her in my life as my best friend because we were friends for a long time before this. But I feel hurt and sad that it ended this way.

    Any advice would do. Thanks everyone for your input once again. :(
  • Apr 24, 2017, 12:59 PM
    Oliver2011
    Ov vey!

    "We became very flirty with each other and ended up crossing the line of friendship. She started telling her friends that was she involved with me and that we were together."

    Slow the heck down. Making mistakes on mistakes will not put you in a good place relationship wise. You are treating relationships like there's an off/on switch.

    I am assuming this girl you could actually physically be with instead of over the internet.
  • Apr 24, 2017, 01:38 PM
    ma0641
    Talk about rebound! Are you that worried about not having a serious relationship? You are only 25 years old!
  • Apr 24, 2017, 07:04 PM
    talaniman
    Boy have you had a very rough romantic month. I think I would be confused too! Take a break from the females, yes your best friend too, and get with the guys and do stupid guy stuff. Not TOO stupid though,just good clean guy stuff, until the cloud of confusion clears up.

    Find other ways to have fun without the romance. Personally sports, fishing, or something like that with your buds will help you sweat out the blues.
  • May 19, 2017, 11:36 PM
    iloveicedtea
    Hey all, just wanted to provide you guys with another update and would need some advice.Its been a few weeks, apparently my best friend and I are somewhat involved now.

    She made it clear that she does not ever want to get married or have kids, which is something I might want in the future. When I asked her what this were between us, she said we were "best friends with benefits, no commitment or attachment".We've spent a few nights together here and there.

    To be honest, I don't think its going anywhere but I feel deeply for her. I don't know where to go from here. Any advice would appreciated. Thanks again. I know my love life is a mess :(
  • May 20, 2017, 04:41 AM
    talaniman
    WOW! I'm confused! How do you go from this,

    Quote:

    The other day, just out of the blue, she told me that she can not continue this because God is her main priority in life and what we were doing were making her feel guilty. It did not sit well with her conscience
    .

    To best friends with benefits? I think you both are kookoo, I mean confused! But in fairness to you that's what usually happens when one follows his/her little head and is desperate for company of the opposite sex. Or just sex which you both are.

    You know it's really going nowhere so you better enjoy this while it lasts or she gets god again, but put your heart in a safe place. It's a temporary feel good and lust will wear off. Like she said no strings attached until something better comes along.

    Lust is overpowering and confusing but don't mistake it for love or romance, it's just a good time. DON'T get her pregnant!!!! ​You are confused enough right now!
  • May 20, 2017, 05:23 AM
    joypulv
    tal - this is a new woman. The LD one was 2 months ago. We didn't know about the 'best friend' who is a woman before. Totally confusing. ''I don't know where to go from here'' is the recurring theme.
  • May 20, 2017, 05:33 AM
    talaniman
    Review post #21 Joy, unless he has "another" female best friend. No telling with a desperate for romance young horn dog though. Of course OP can clear this confusion up easily.
  • May 20, 2017, 05:50 AM
    joypulv
    *[OOOPS you're right tal. How many ways can we say good grief?]

    Totally confusing. ''I don't know where to go from here'' is the recurring theme.

    icedtea - You keep jumping into the deep end of the pool. You need more of a life of your own, apart from falling in love. What ARE your plans for the next 50 - 60 years? Or even the next 10? Job, career, where, what, what interests you? What are you doing now, BTW?

    I don't really understand friends with benefits (although I was your age in the 1960s, so sex was everwhere, not even AIDS to worry about, but somehow it seemed more 'loving').
    From what I read, one of the two always ends up totally crushed with hurt and unrequited love.

    The MINUTE you realize that you are into something that your romantic or just sex partner feels differently about, you GET OUT OF IT.
  • May 20, 2017, 07:43 AM
    talaniman
    https://genius.com/Maze-joy-and-pain-lyrics

    You know how it is when you're in your 20's, intense feelings everywhere, and you are a slave to them sometimes until you learn better. Dude will survive though, don't we all?

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