Ask Me Help Desk - 25 days NC but I'm still hurting

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Originally Posted by joypulv

Hey tal: I'm the woman and I'm right.

ALWAYS... :D

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Originally Posted by aluppnow

Thanks for the reply Tal. I am over thinking this all I think, perhaps I'm trying to make sense of it all and like you say I don't have all the facts. Her reasons are hers. Time to pick myself up and move on.

You are not overthinking, just over feeling, like the rest of us after a tough breakup out of the blue(?), that we didn't want.

NORMAL, and COMMON!! Thought you knew that.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

NORMAL, and COMMON!! Thought you knew that.

So did I. Everything is upside down. :)

Then turn it right side up. You are in control of that, no one else but you. Why do you and others allow anyone the right to control how you feel, to control whether you have a good day or bad day, and control your life either moving forward or backwards. I will never understand that. Yes breakups suck but the moving on part is all in your court. When you are in a relationship you have to have a life outside of that relationship. Your pre-relationship life doesn't stop just because you are with someone. I still have the same buddies and the same sports guys as I did before I got married.

Sorry in advance if I have repeated what others have said. I didn't go back and read all of the responses.

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Originally Posted by aluppnow

So did I. Everything is upside down. :)

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Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Then turn it right side up. You are in control of that, no one else but you. Why do you and others allow anyone the right to control how you feel, to control whether you have a good day or bad day, and control your life either moving forward or backwards. I will never understand that. Yes breakups suck but the moving on part is all in your court. When you are in a relationship you have to have a life outside of that relationship. Your pre-relationship life doesn't stop just because you are with someone. I still have the same buddies and the same sports guys as I did before I got married.

Sorry in advance if I have repeated what others have said. I didn't go back and read all of the responses.

Thanks for the reply Oliver. I have started realiseing this and to be honest I am feeling tons better since I started this thread.

I did keep my friends from before we started seeing each other and I kept to my sport as usual while we were together. It was all the other free time of mine that she occupied. I have been able to spend alot of time with my friends and doing my sport and I think they both have been a great help in me moving on.

That sounds healthy and that is what keeps the mind focus on other things. Day by day you will continue to feel better. You can’t choose how people feel about you including a significant other. But you can choose how you react to it. With the choice of having a good day or a bad day, I will choose to have a good day every day. It’s just something you can train yourself to do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by aluppnow

Thanks for the reply Oliver. I have started realiseing this and to be honest I am feeling tons better since I started this thread.

I did keep my friends from before we started seeing each other and I kept to my sport as usual while we were together. It was all the other free time of mine that she occupied. I have been able to spend alot of time with my friends and doing my sport and I think they both have been a great help in me moving on.