Ask Me Help Desk - Does she like me or is she emotionally unstable?

Update! So I stopped worrying about it and put it at the back of my mind.
Last night she "Liked" a fb post on my timeline I posted on Saturday. So, she had to go on my page and like it because it was older and wouldn't show up on her news feed.
This morning she texts me and wrote "Hey, it's been awhile. How are you? How was your weekend? I had an unsuccessful move yesterday and I have so much more to do"
I mean really? Yeah it's been awhile because you shut me out for 5 days. Haha. Should I respond or ignore her?
A girl in her 30's should not be acting like this.

If you cannot be polite but emotionally unavailable, then ignore her or get more of the same. What do YOU think?

If you keep going back to her for more punishment... then you deserve everything you get. Otherwise do whatever it takes to avoid her, or minimize what contact you do have and keep it at a level you would be comfortable with if she was an aunt, mother or neighbor.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

If you cannot be polite but emotionally unavailable, then ignore her or get more of the same. What do YOU think?

Well I realize her actions and the way she is IS NOT what I want in a relationship.
Not even sure even if I would want her for a hook up

Quote:

Originally Posted by armyof1

Update! So I stopped worrying about it and put it at the back of my mind.
Last night she "Liked" a fb post on my timeline I posted on Saturday. So, she had to go on my page and like it because it was older and wouldn't show up on her news feed.
This morning she texts me and wrote "Hey Mike, it's been awhile. How are you? How was your weekend? I had an unsuccessful move yesterday and I have so much more to do"
I mean really? Yeah it's been awhile because you shut me out for 5 days. Haha. Should I respond or ignore her?
A girl in her 30's should not be acting like this.

Actually, your post could have shown up in her newsfeed at any point in time after you posted it. I have had friends' posts show up days and weeks later for what seems like no reason, but I have not gone to their pages.

When you saw her post over the weekend did you like or comment on them? Or were you waiting for her to privately contact you?

Frankly, I think you have as many issues you want to place on her. Have you stopped to think she could be busy during the day and isn't as available to talk as you appear to be? Can you accept that she might have needed a few days to herself for personal reasons?

Moving can be a very emotional and stressful event. Between finding moving supplies and tripping over old memories, both good and bad, it can take a lot out of a person. It can make them back off a bit and possibly question what is going on in their life.

Sounds like she had a rough month. Being exhausted mentally and physically can cause a person to shut down emotionally. Are you adding to the stress by expecting her to be your sole source of entertainment or are you spending time with your friends and family?

How long have you known her? About the same time you have been dating? She may not be as flirty or into communicating multiple times every day as you seem to think she should be. She may have been trying to live up to your expectations but, like with her friends, she was going against her basic nature and putting her own needs lower on the priority list. Are you willing to slow things down, talk with her about her needs and expectations, let know yours (if you haven't) and see if there is middle ground to build a relationship on?

Edited to add: Just saw your last post. Better luck in the future.

So, we had a long phone conversation last night. She said she felt that I didn't ask her enough questions about herself. But, I told her, I asked her almost every other day about her work and how her day was. She either didn't reply or said "Fine" or "Very busy"

She said "Well I told you my family had a party over the weekend and you didn't even ask which family members are going to be there. Also, I told you me and my mom were eating together and you didn't even ask what we were making." Keep in mind I never met her family. Haha.

I don't want to sound selfish or anything, but does a normal person ask those types of ?'s? That's just something I wouldn't think of asking. If I was dating a girl it wouldn't bother me the slightness if she didn't ask those types of ?'s. I wouldn't even think twice about it.

I also told her it would have been nice to be invited over sometime to meet your family. She said "You don't have to be invited. Just tell me you want to come over".
I'm not the type of person to do that and I told her. I said if you wanted me there, you would have asked me. I also told her that if this was bothering her, she should have communicated this with me in the early stages... not a month later...

I told her there was nothing more to talk about. She said "Well I'll be here and I'll be around. Maybe I'll call you tomorrow"

That's not normal, right?

Sounds like she wants you to be a mindreader.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Sounds like she wants you to be a mindreader.

That's EXACTLY what I told her. I said "I'm not a mind reader"
I told her if something was bothering her, she should have told me.
I also told her, I'm not going to invite myself over someone's house. That's just not me. Would it be mean of me to ignore her after this?

I wouldn't knock myself out communicating with her. What's her investment in this relationship? And what about you? Can you each move forward on separate roads?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I wouldn't knock myself out communicating with her. What's her investment in this relationship? And what about you? Can you each move forward on separate roads?

Well she feels the relationship is one-sided and I don't ask her enough ?'s about herself and I think I do and she just doesn't respond or tell me anything when I ask her. It's like a tedious circle.

Have you heard the term "High maintenance"

In her world EVERYTHING revolves around her. In fact... you can't do enough for that type. That kind isn't worth it.

I'm going to toss out another quote I hope you have heard. It applies here. It's an "Exercise in futility."

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

Have you heard the term "High maintenance"

In her world EVERYTHING revolves around her. In fact... you can't do enough for that type. That kind isn't worth it.

I'm going to toss out another quote I hope you have heard. It applies here. It's an "Exercise in futility."

Yeah, I agree. Yes, I've heard it before. I agree on that as well. It seems like this all is just a waste of time.

She just made me feel bad saying I wasn't interested in her and that I didn't ask her enough ?'s. I mean I have 11 texts over the month to her asking about her day and how work was going that went unanswered. Should I have done more?

This will be response Number 33, you need to move on, and to use another old saying "Stop Beating a Dead Horse".

Quote:

Originally Posted by catonsville

This will be response Number 33, you need to move on, and to use another old saying "Stop Beating a Dead Horse".

Ok, thanks. I'll just ignore her.
I appreciate everyone's input and advice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by armyof1

She just made me feel bad saying I wasn't interested in her and that I didn't ask her enough ?'s. I mean I have 11 texts over the month to her asking about her day and how work was going that went unanswered. Should I have done more?

I'm guessing she thinks your questions are too general. She wants to hear specific questions like, "What did your grandmother say about your new red dress?" or "Name your three favorite movies of all time."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'm guessing she thinks your questions are too general. She wants to hear specific questions like, "What did your grandmother say about your new red dress?" or "Name your three favorite movies of all time."

I can understand that. I mean eventually I would have.
We only had 2 dates. Haha

You expect too much from a booty call, as it's no surprise she shift the blame to you. Why are you complicating this? You can't make a healthy relationship from a booty call in a month.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

You expect too much from a booty call, as it's no surprise she shift the blame to you. Why are you complicating this? You can't make a healthy relationship from a booty call in a month.

I know. I'm over it. She just played a good game.
Thanks for everyone's help.

Look at it as a learning experience... you really don't have a very good idea where a relationship is headed until you have at least 10 dates... ANYTHING can send it south before then (after too but if you make it to 10, then 15 is far more likely)

Quote:

Originally Posted by armyof1

I know. I'm over it. She just played a good game.
Thanks for everyone's help.

It doesn't appear to me she played it well at all.