I'm in my thirties. I know it's silly that a person my age can't deal with this. I really don't know why I love this person so much. I know I deserve better, I realised that from day 1. Guess love is really blind.I know he will come back to me. Question is, when? He still needs his alone time. Do I wait ? As I know he is quite a slow mover. Even with other matters, he takes ages to make decisions.shall I give him a time frame?
I also know nthere are other men out there who are interested in me, but I only want him. Arrrggghhhh..!

He may still have feelings for you and it will be hard for you to understand but at the moment I would say he is holding you there in case he decides he does want you. Its not a good thing for you cause if someone better comes along bang he will be straight onto them. I did this to a girl a few years ago she wanted me all the time I was with he for 4 years and eavery now and then I would be so sick of her chasing me all the time wondering where I was I would say lets just have a bit of a break, and she would say no I don't want a break what do you mean are we getting back together and I would say " Well I just need some time to think about things, I would still message her goodnight babes and missing you or thinking of you but that was when I was actually missing her a little but I was still happy having fun with my mates and going out but I knew she was there...

I tell you what did happen though she then decided that she had had enough and started saying well that's it then and I had to get her back. Your best chance if you really want him back is to go and get your stuff from his house. I think you will be best without him and you will learn this in the future when you meet anice guy although at the moment your probably saying no way thet will never happen, I said that as well but I'm glad I'm not with her now..

If you want though this is what you will have to do it will work probably, Go around to his place and tell him you need all your stuff he won't know what is going on , you then say you have been thinking about things and the break is probably the best thing at the moment because you are young and want to know what its like to be single and spend a bit of time on your own having fun.

It will be hard to do this because you think by leaving your stuff there your still in his life, while you are in his life he won't want you back. He wanted the break so give it to him let him wonder what your doing and I guarantee he will. And promise if you good luck

sammylover, we didn't talk to each other for about 2 weeks... and after that was when the calling began. He would call me a few days here and there and then I would call him. I think what made me stronger was the fact that I still got a chance to hear his voice ever so often. That kept me going and helped time pass. The thing that sucks though is that every time I built myself up, he would call/txt me... and I would go back to my old pitiful self. I was so depressed, so sad, so alone, and almost lost it. The biggest thing that helped me was constantly doing things. Going to the gym, going to class, eating out, movies, and walks. I also joined a few of the free dating services out there, and it really helped talking to others.. not necessarily the whole "flirting" bit, but just talking to others in the comfort of my own home. I recently changed my cell phone number as well, which I think will totally help me so much more with my situation.

I know what you are going though and hate the fact that you are putting yourself through all of this. Know that you are a strong individual and that any guy that makes you feel the way he is making you feel is totally not worth it.

Remember that...
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Is Lilah still crying?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lilah_k

me and my boyfriend are on a break...i feel so vulnerable and sad that i just called him today and we ended up arguing because he said he just needs some space and i dont know how to give it to him, and of course like an idiot i was the one who suggested the space but now I'm scared and getting paranoid about it.

He is right I DONT KNOW HOW TO GIVE HIM SPACE...i'm constantly thinking about things between me and him and it's hard to get him out of my mind. So i called...i know it was a mistake and i dont know what to do with myself. I'm scared that this break will turn out permanent and i just dont know how to deal with that. I keep crying, loosing sleep at night then end up sleeping all day, dont want to do anything, feel sad, dont answer other peoples phone calls, I'm just a mess and i dont know how to get myself out of it.

The break hasn't even lasted a few days and I'm going insane! someone put some sense into me please!!

i know if i continue this i will loose him!!!!!!!!!
what do i do to make him come after me?

HELP PLEASE...:(

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If you leave him alone he will contact u.every time you contact him he likes it because he knows that you will.show him that he needs you as much as you do him.
If he wasn't answering his phone when you contacted him then he really does want space,but if he is answering it every time then he is telling you how high to jump and your jumping.

The problem is, we're still in contact on a daily basis. It's OK if we talk about other things other than "us" and of course he still refuses to see me. We're just like normal friends. But as soon as I ask for an answer i.e. when would this "break" end, he's threaten to break up for good. So, I'm really confused. Hate waiting but am still hopeful.

I feel like we NEED to fall down every once and a while, it makes us who we are, and it allows there to be good and joy in life. We just need to learn how to get up rather then planing some great recovery.

Hey sammy this is really not your thread so start your own

<,Hey sammy this is really not your thread so start your own
>>
Yeah I'm confsued between everyone ! I thought sammy was lilahs story.! CAN YOU ALL START YOUR OWN THREADS as each case is different and I have not yet heard the reason for sammys breakup.

We know htowngirls and she needs to work on communication issues and herself.

Sammy what's the reason for yours and put it in your new thread. You can put the link to it here.

Sorry guys, am new here, didn't really know how this works and got a bit carried away. Will start new thread.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sammylover

the problem is, we're still in contact on a daily basis. it's ok if we talk abt other things other than "us" and of course he still refuses to see me. We're just like normal friends. But as soon as i ask for an answer ie when would this "break" end, he's threaten to break up for good. so, i'm really confused. hate waiting but am still hopeful.

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This is exactly why YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM ALONE!! He will come around if he really wants you but YOU HAVE TO LEAVE HIM ALONE!! Do NOT talk to hime for at LEAST two months. Is it not driving you crazy that he doesn't want to talk to you? Don't you think it might drive him crazy if YOU don't talk to him? You'll never know if you keep calling. For you own sanity, I am not saying to play games, but you can make yourself stronger by believing that this is a game and eventually you will realize that time alone is not so bad after all. You love yourself don't you? Then prove it. Stop acting like a P@*#Y. Not trying to be mean but sometimes you need tough love. :)

For the post above, I didn't realize that I was quoting sammylover so lilah k take this advice too.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lilah_k

me and my boyfriend are on a break...i feel so vulnerable and sad that i just called him today and we ended up arguing because he said he just needs some space and i dont know how to give it to him, and of course like an idiot i was the one who suggested the space but now I'm scared and getting paranoid about it.

He is right I DONT KNOW HOW TO GIVE HIM SPACE...i'm constantly thinking about things between me and him and it's hard to get him out of my mind. So i called...i know it was a mistake and i dont know what to do with myself. I'm scared that this break will turn out permanent and i just dont know how to deal with that. I keep crying, loosing sleep at night then end up sleeping all day, dont want to do anything, feel sad, dont answer other peoples phone calls, I'm just a mess and i dont know how to get myself out of it.

The break hasn't even lasted a few days and I'm going insane! someone put some sense into me please!!

i know if i continue this i will loose him!!!!!!!!!
what do i do to make him come after me?

HELP PLEASE...:(

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I know exactly how feel but you know what "u don' t to worry just like all the other excellent advice that you've received on this board follow it" it's strange how we can hurt and find people via Internet and they give us some of the best advice known to man I have a supposedly "Best friend" but I think that she's with my guy as I write but u know what since I can't talk to her (b/c she may just be the enemy) God has guided me here so the best to all of our broken hearts.

I am going through the same thing my guy does not want to talk to me I try to call he does not answer I felt tlike I was going to go crazy I had and still have a big knot in my stomach constantly I finally went to a counselor cryed my eyes out and told her what was going on and what I was feeling we found a HUGE discovery about me I am severely codependant when the counselor started to tell me excatly how "I" was feeling and the things that "I" was doing to get him back was she was like reading me out of a book it was awful and exciting at the same time... perhaps you ladys should look in to what a codependant is and maybe it will help your hearts I am feeling almost human again after figuring out wo I am I still hurts like a bastard but it is getting better good luck

Me again please don't call him I know it will be sooooooooooo freakin hard but don't do it
Look into yourself and ask yourself first and try to make it so it is OK for you to be with him or without him