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-   -   Why won't she tell me she has kids? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=794138)

  • Jun 12, 2014, 08:11 AM
    smoothy
    5 kids she's got to be strapped for money... any money is better than no money... and the conniving part I was talking about... the best way to fool you is to try to convince you its NOT about money (or name a topic)... someone they view as reliable and consistent beats carrying to full load alone.

    Like I said... been there before. As a mother her first priority is providing for her kids... everything else is secondary. A mother will do almost anything when it comes to her kids.

    Try to rationalise it all you want... it always boild down to that in the end.

    WIth 5 kids a single mom isn't going to have free time.....if she is making the time....its at the expense of time for her kids so you can be certain there is a strong motive and agenda at work driving her decisions.

    A single parent with 5 at home doesn't have free time to be running around just for fun with no expectations. They need to see results for everything they do. Everything comes back to providing for the brood.

    Getting involved with someone with kids isn't a bad thing...just keep in mind their priorities are not the same as someone that doesn't have any.
  • Jun 12, 2014, 08:13 AM
    BenBrockMartin
    LOL! Talanim I really hope so! Haha I hate that I really think I am overthinking this, but just had to be sure. I wouldn't normally care, but the kids scare me, that degree of responsibility is frightening, so I just wanted to make sure she didn't want more from me.

    Supposedly the kids are split, the ex has the 3 older boys and she has the twin girls at home with her and her ex still gives her good money. Like she's not strapped for cash at all because she doesn't even need the job she has now.

    She has a business degree and never used it. She just recently got a job as a manager at a hair salon just because.
  • Jun 12, 2014, 08:49 AM
    talaniman
    I can see protecting yourself, that's a given whether she has kids or not, but freaking out after a few weeks looking for motives and agendas is really a sign of your own fears and insecurities. You will learn more later a you spend more time and it's not that unusual that a female is establishing herself after the end of marriage and kids.

    You know she has kids and baggage and an ex, and maybe they get back together, maybe they don't. But it's kind of obvious your curiosity and inexperience may be getting the best of you. Either enjoy it while it lasts or run for the hills. Not only would I protect myself, but be cautious since this can change rather quickly before your lust wears off. Can you blame her for keeping her booty call, distraction, mr. feel good when she needs it, at a safe distance?

    I think your real question is why this smoking hot chick is wasting her time with a scared young broke guy when she can have a successful guy of means and manner. Don't think like that, just take your gift and be a good booty call and stay out of her business and lose the fear. More will be revealed later so stop assuming and presuming.
  • Jun 12, 2014, 11:58 AM
    BenBrockMartin
    "Scared, young broke guy", the hell?

    But yeah that's the plan. Thanks for all the advice, guys. I'll be here asking another question if something drastic happens.
  • Jun 12, 2014, 12:16 PM
    smoothy
    Good luck. and make sure you have plenty of fresh condoms handy... not ones she poked holes in or she supplies. First rule of thumb here... keep your own butt well covered. Don't ever trust a woman you aren't married to that says...."I've got that taken care of".
  • Jun 12, 2014, 04:32 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Like Tal says, you're a booty call, don't over think it. If you are casual to her and she to you what does it matter of she has kids. It's really none of your business. If she is just causal to you why are your friends looking up stuff on her and telling you her business? That is messed up
    Deal with what she is giving you or move on.
  • Jun 12, 2014, 06:07 PM
    ma0641
    You are a "boy toy", and she likes it. Don't get it complicated, enjoy what you are getting and not having to worry about 5-7 kids.

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