Your statement gives me so much hope. The bigger picture is so hard to remember every second, but Im trying to rely on it, it's all that matters anyway. Thanks sooo much you don't even know how much it means, I really feel like I have nothing left but sadness, my entire personality is different on the surface, as many of my close friends have commented on. Also, this new guy I've been going on dates with all the sudden drops a bomb with a "I have feelings for you", exactly not what I wanted to hear. I briefly explaned myself and my current position, but it didn't deter him at all. Ah I don't want to be with this one either, although it is nice having doors opened and having my words actually listened to, something he-whose-name I won't speak never did.

Take it slow if your not ready for dating don't do it, you will hurt people : ( Become friends for now. In time you will become the 'princess' you once were

Wow Jiser gives the greatest advise. I don't even have to post my problem. He already answered it. It's great to know that other people are going through the same things. I don't feel alone.

Personally, it seems like it much too soon to be dating. Your emotions aren't ready for that, and as good as it makes you feel at the time, you don't want to use other people as an emotional crutch.

I can't imagine that you are capable of having a relationship right now, its only been a month. Take a few months, or longer, to recover and become strong again. After spending some time with yourself, becoming who you want to be, you will be ready to start dating again.

How the hell is he already in a new dating/relationship with that girl I caught him with? Do guys just not care at all when they break up? He has been nothing but cold and an to me, even when I'm crying he acts like I'm burdening him. Can anyone explain this?

Generally when one partner in a relationship asks for a break, they have been thinking about it for quite some time. While you are blissfully unaware, they have been slowly detaching themselves from the relationship. In this way, when you are suddenly stuck with the shock of the breakup, he is well on his way to healing, and possibly ready for another relationship.

It does seem, however, that most of the relationships that cause the breakup of another hardly last. Many of the times, it appears these are merely crushes which crash and burn once the novelty wears off. Its hardly any consolation, but someday in the future, he will likely regret leaving a faithful relationship to pursue an infatuation.

Here's the problem. The last time I talked to him, he told me he wouldn't see me and I begged (I feel so stupid, I just lost it). He was really cold. I told him to tell me the truth, that he doesn't love me, and he said, I'm not going to do that. But finally he was like, fine, I don't love you. Its like I maybe forced him into saying something he didn't wholeheartedly believe. I really want to see him this summer, but he refuses. I really think he is going to stick with his guns on this one. I want to see him so badly, even after everything I just want him back, Ah what am I saying? I have completely lost it.

Also, how do I explain things to new dude? I like him, he's just getting to boyfriendy on me and I don't want anything with him. We have only kissed, but for some reason he is getting attached. I don't know how to approach this one without sounding like a mess.

First of all, My last post wasn't meant to give you any sort of false hope. I was just pointing out things that I have observed. Because he may regret being with his new girl, does not mean he is going to want to come back to you... Ideally, you won't want him back if he does.

On to the new guy. You first mistake was kissing him. If you had no intentions of getting into a relationship with him, you probably should not have kissed him. That's leading him on. Your best bet is to be open and honest with him. You stated that you have already told him how you feel, but he sort of ignored it. Tell him again - be a little firmer. Be completely honest with him, it may be tough but it is much easier than dealing with hurting him if he doesn't know your intentions up front.

Yeah thanks for bringing me back to earth with the false hope... I get stupid hope for us off any little thing. But Ideally, I don't want to want him anymore. I want to be cured of all this I do.

About the kiss. I thought it was something I wanted to do, but in the end I realised deep down I was doing it to get back at ex. But it didn't matter, when he found out it pushed him further away.

I know what the false hope feels like, many of the people here do. For me, it was the hardest thing, and I still fight with it, to get over. You come to a point where the hope doesn't matter anymore, because you dont hope for what you dont want :). Once that happens, you will know that you are on the path to getting better.

During my breakup, I would talk to my ex and every little thing she said I would analyze in hopes of finding some sort of hope. This was not healthy as it kept me hanging on a string, and 99% of the time, I was coming up with hidden meanings that didn't exist.

At this point, there isn't much you can do but give it time. You get busy, try to live you life without him. As time passes, it will become easier and easier.

I would like you to think about this... just sit for a moment, close your eyes and echo what I am going to tell you... "You have to let go of something that is not working in order to reach for something that is better.....as a loss can be negotiated but a LIFE can never be relived - so make sure that you r living it with the RIGHT person"... Think about it...

Diya, thank you, I know what your saying is true. I don't want him, he's not the kind of man I want in my life, I think I'm battling with extreme feelings of rejection. Ie: how could he do this to me, after everything I've put into this, etc. Plus, his demeanor makes me feel even worse, but I guess if he was nice to me, I would hold on even more.

I'm fighting the urges to purposely run into him, ah I want my dignity back, I feel like he must be laughing at me thinking, damn she's crazy. Has anyone ever heard the Nelly Furtado song "All good things come to an end">? The part that says lovers to friends really gets me choked up, but now I don't even think I can be his friend. He's not a friend I would want to have.

PS> I saw a post about this on another page. If an ex says he erased all of the naughty pics , should I believe it? I don't know, some of my guy friends told me Im crazy to think he'd erase them. That makes me so mad that he might still have them

Ah help I just saw his new fling write something really sexually suggestive on his page I feel like breaking down this is too much. How could he do this to me, I feel so replaced.

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Originally Posted by missbeach123

Ah help I just saw his new fling write something really sexually suggestive on his page I feel like breaking down this is to much. How could he do this to me, I feel so replaced.

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Just calm down, relax, don't do anything drastic... like calling him.

Let that be a lesson - stay away from anything that has to do with him. We've all learned the hard way, and now you have to. People told me this, I didn't listen, and I ended up paying the price. Just don't let it happen again - it will only make things worse for you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by missbeach123

Diya, thank you, I know what your saying is true. I don't want him, he's not the kind of man I want in my life, I think I'm battling with extreme feelings of rejection. ie: how could he do this to me, after everything I've put into this, etc. Plus, his demeanor makes me feel even worse, but I guess if he was nice to me, I would hold on even more.

I'm fighting the urges to purposely run into him, ah I want my dignity back, I feel like he must be laughing at me thinking, damn shes crazy. Has anyone ever heard the Nelly Furtado song "All good things come to an end">? the part that says lovers to friends really gets me choked up, but now I don't even think I can be his friend. He's not a friend I would want to have.

PS> I saw a post about this on another page. If an ex says he erased all of the naughty pics , should I believe it? I don't know, some of my guy friends told me Im crazy to think he'd erase them. That makes me so mad that he might still have them

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Missbeach, even he's laughing at you.. so? Even if he thinks u're crazy, so? What difference is it going to make the person that you actually are? There could be so many people out there who may or may not like you... can u make everyone like or love you? Nope... never. I know exactly what feeling you're going through... feeling of losing self esteem, feeling of dejection, that you're not worth being loved, right? But I want to know, u think one person in your life can write the whole script of You as a person that u're letting him to be the one... why so vulnerable? Compose yourself... write your own script for your life and you'll see people will come running to enact in it... positivity is what draws people to you... This guy is and can never be the end of the world... there's so much to do... really... which will give you more happiness than u think you deserve... Be happy.. and let past be past... future is looking into you.embrace it with a smile...

Sorry to hear about this. My girlfriend of three years cheated on me and I found out about it two weeks ago. It's a hard depressing time, but I'm trying to take it one day at a time. If take it one day at a time then before you know it you're a little bit better each day. And yes IGNORANCE IS BLISS. Stay away from that page! I had problems with this with my ex-girlfriend's Facebook, so I blocked it and even though I want to check it so bad, I know I'll probably feel like crap afterwards, so I don't and its paying off.

You have gotten a lot of advice and support, and I truly hope you listen and follow it closely. Accept this is over and get a life because from this point on, its not him causing you pain and misery its you, and no amount of crying is going to change that. You are the only one who can change the isolation, and the search for answers that aren't there, and find a life without him that makes you happy, and its your job to let go, and move on. Don't mean to sound harsh, because I know its important to have support and be able to vent those intense bad feelings, but its time to deal with reality, and stop letting him live rent free in your head. Now get busy, and find your happiness, Move on from this misery. Don't tell me how hard it is, because I already know, and so does everyone who has responded to you so far. Read their stories and you'll know we feel you.

Today was a bad day. I finally know its over completely. I'm faced with the reality that he has feelings for someone else. And I texted and got no reply. Im going to do better tomorrow I need to make a pact to myself. He's not doing anything to me anymore, Im just not letting go of him, not accepting its over. I want to see he, but I don't know what good that would do. I am thinking about maybe talking to someone about all this, my mind is just not on my side.

MissBeach... I feel your pain. I too, am on a break/breakup from a guy that is, in the end, no good for me. Not someone I would ever marry... etc.. etc... My friends and family all say he did me a favor... but that doesn't help me much. I am still VERY miserable... MOST of the time. What I can tell you is that No Contact is an amazing thing... I can't tell you how hard it's been to not pick up the phone and call or text, but the longer I go without doing it, the better I feel... and that I know it is the right thing. I am nowhere near over this... (still hoping he'll see the light... ) but I also know that if it's supposed to work, it has to come from him. Give him time to see what he's missing... then you'll know. You must leave him alone... for the sake of the relationship... (if there's any chance for it... ), but more importantly, for your own sanity!!