Ask Me Help Desk - I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years. I feel like dying please help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Why on earth would you do this? You want her to be jealous? No Contact doesn't mean a waiting time so she misses you and wants to reunite. It means NO contact! Reread what Alty said. She explained it perfectly.

Thanks WG.

Sadly I responded to the OP's post, and then checked other posts after I replied.

This seems like a clear case of not wanting to hear the truth, otherwise why start a new thread about the same issue. They are now merged, as I reported after I read his second thread, and realized it was the same issue as this thread.

NC means NC. It's not a tool to get someone to miss you and want you back, it's a tool used so you can move on without the other person in your life.

It seems very clear that this poster only wants to hurt his ex, make her miss him, and make her take him back, which isn't possible. Until he's ready to forget that, and actually move on, he's only going to hurt himself, and his ex. It will destroy them both, mostly him.

There's a saying "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was". Let her go!

This is to the point of being pitiful...you asked for advice and got plenty of real good advice...but you don't want to hear it...so you just keep on going on and asking and asking in hopes that someone will tell you to go for it. Well, don't. LET IT GO ALREADY.

Why would you want to call her and tell her this? So she suddenly realizes what a catch you are and comes running back to you? That is painfully sad...and I don't mean sad in a way that I feel for you...What would you do if you called her and told her this and she said. "Awesome! I'm so glad you found someone!"...what then?

So anyway, it's become incredibly clear to me that you don't really want any kind of practical advice as you have already gotten plenty of it. You just want to live in your upside down fantasy world and keep posting about it...Well, I'm done wasting my time on giving you advice only to have you come back and ask the same crap all over again.

Do what you want...go after her...make her jealous...if she comes back, the problems will only start all over again and you'll be back but next time you'll be in worse shape.

Good luck to you...you'll need it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by odinn7

This is to the point of being pitiful...you asked for advice and got plenty of real good advice...but you don't want to hear it...so you just keep on going on and asking and asking in hopes that someone will tell you to go for it. Well, don't. LET IT GO ALREADY.

Why would you want to call her and tell her this? So she suddenly realizes what a catch you are and comes running back to you? That is painfully sad...and I don't mean sad in a way that I feel for you...What would you do if you called her and told her this and she said. "Awesome! I'm so glad you found someone!"...what then?

So anyway, it's become incredibly clear to me that you don't really want any kind of practical advice as you have already gotten plenty of it. You just want to live in your upside down fantasy world and keep posting about it...Well, I'm done wasting my time on giving you advice only to have you come back and ask the same crap all over again.

Do what you want...go after her...make her jealous...if she comes back, the problems will only start all over again and you'll be back but next time you'll be in worse shape.

Good luck to you...you'll need it.

He's bent on getting such a reputation for being a loser no female in a three state area would date him after she gets irritated enough to start talking to everyone about how he's handled this and can't take no for an answer. And trust me... if it doesn't stop... she WILL talk, and talk, and talk...and word WILL get around.

But he won't listen so I guess he's going to learn the hard way. We did bend over backwards trying to save him from himself.

I know how you feel guy fresh from a breakup, and willing to desperately grasp at any straw of false hope to make the pain go away. I do feel you! We all do, and have been there.

Cheer up, you can't see it now, but if you stick to NC, you will just get sick and tired of crying, whining, and desperately hoping, then it starts to get better.

Thank you all for your response and I'm really sorry for over acting this way. I guess because I'm still hurting and still living on our memories so I kept on thinking such things I knew that's its impossible and would never happen anymore. I just really find it so hard to move on, that I can't even sleep straight I wake up every 2 or 3 hours of my sleep and still feeling the pain in my chest.

But trust me Im convincing myself so much to move on that almost every heart ache that I feel I kept on reading all your advices over and over to finally understand that its over.

Some days I feel strong some days I feel week but I'm fighting the urge to contact her cause I know it won't do any good to me.

Im really sorry for being a stupid guy I realise loving so much will make you really go crazy.
But trust ms that I'm helping myself move on and face the reality, I'm still on healing progress but as time goes by I know that il feel better.

Thank you so much to all of your responses.

Listen, you're not stupid...this kind of stuff makes you not think right. I've been there myself and I know it hurts. You just have to let go. The longer you go without her and not talking to her, the easier it will get for you. Don't always think of the good things, remind yourself of the bad things too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by odinn7

Listen, you're not stupid...this kind of stuff makes you not think right. I've been there myself and I know it hurts. You just have to let go. The longer you go without her and not talking to her, the easier it will get for you. Don't always think of the good things, remind yourself of the bad things too.

Thank you so much odinn7, its just really hard for me because she was my first on everything and first real relationship. Thank you for your advice and yes it helps me whenever I think all the bad things too.

Thank you so much for your help I really appreciate it.

If you need to keep your head on straight... keep in mind what I said. She might be nice about it now... but everyone has a limit to their patience... and she can RUIN your reputation if you push her that far. And trust me... p*ss her off, and there is no limit to what she will say, she will probibly even start making stuff up if she runs out of bad things to say.... and even Mother Teresa could be pushed that far.

Keep sticking to no contact. When you have a weak moment, before you do anything, post here, ask us if you should do it.

It's not a quick process. Breakups hurt, even if you're both done with the relationship it still hurts. It's not easy to move on, but it is possible. We've all been there, and survived.

So when you're doubting your actions, post here, ask us. Stick to this thread. We are willing to help you through this. But, you have to listen to the advice. Don't just post because you want someone to agree with you. Post to actually get advice, and then follow that advice. We won't steer you wrong. We've done this before. :)

Stupid no. Pretty normal yes.

The physical stuff you are feeling will ease over time. There are some things that you can do to help yourself feel better. Get active, go out with friends, exercise, go for a long walk and appreciate the beauty outside. Trust me these things help. If you keep your mind active you will start and continue to feel better.

One other thing - in your next relationship you can't make your partner the only thing of value in your life. You can't give up your friends and the fun stuff you like to do. You can make her a part of those things, but you can't give them up. On this website we see that all the time and when the relationship ends, that person is left with nothing. Don't let that happen because you have now seen what it does to you. I am with the partner of my life and we are incredibly happy together. If something happened where we broke up sure I would be sad. But I know I would still have my friends and the fun things I like to do. Most importantly, I would still be okay.

Quote:

Originally Posted by juan20

Thank you all for your response and I'm really sorry for over acting this way. I guess because I'm still hurting and still living on our memories so I kept on thinking such things I knew that's its impossible and would never happen anymore. I just really find it so hard to move on, that I can't even sleep straight I wake up every 2 or 3 hours of my sleep and still feeling the pain in my chest.

But trust me Im convincing myself so much to move on that almost every heart ache that I feel I kept on reading all your advices over and over to finally understand that its over.

Some days I feel strong some days I feel week but I'm fighting the urge to contact her cause I know it won't do any good to me.

Im really sorry for being a stupid guy I realise loving so much will make you really go crazy.
But trust ms that I'm helping myself move on and face the reality, I'm still on healing progress but as time goes by I know that il feel better.

Thank you so much to all of your responses.