'Decided to have nothing to do with her' and 'she kept deflecting my questions' DO NOT GIBE!
The advice you have asked for is going to be tied to our opinions. My advice was inherent in my saying that I don't totally trust you, because I think you are deluding yourself, not because I have some personal reason to mistrust you. So my advice is to stop deluding yourself and to really mean it when you say you will HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HER.

She may be deluding herself too. That's beside the point. She couldn't figure out your 'just friends' demands, and I don't get them either, but she may be tempted to keep trying to see where you stand. Again - that's beside the point. You have to stay clear, 100%.

I'm trying, but things keep getting worse. I just got an email from a mutual friend. He said that she had gotten in touch with him, and was asking all sorts of weird questions about me, and making claims (which aren't true). For example, she claimed I've been following her around the campus the past couple of weeks, but in reality, I've been inside most of the time, finishing assignments and essays. She kept saying I've been acting all angry around her, but I've barely been around her the past few months! She even claims that I came to the university we both attend just to be around her, even though I had accepted my offer before she even got hers!

The claims she made were so ridiculous, even my friend agreed that she was acting weird, joking that she should be medicated. I can do my best to avoid her, but now she's approaching my other friends... and their asking me what's going on. I refuse to play the part of the victim, but it's still unfair. How do I fix that? My one friend doesn't want me to tell her that he betrayed her confidence (as he's still on good terms with her, and only told me out of concern), so what can I do?

(By the way, I was on the bench for maybe a minute before she approached me - she sent her passive-aggressive text ten minutes after she walked away).

Hello Joe, are you listning? From the way you are responding apparently NOT.
Put an end to it and turn off all type of communucation. It is over get real.
Most people don't want to deal with crazyiness. How about you?

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Originally Posted by catonsville

Hello Joe, are you listning? From the way you are responding apparently NOT.
Put an end to it and turn off all type of communucation. It is over get real.
Most people don't want to deal with crazyiness. How about you?

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I said I stopped communicating with HER, not my other friends. Am I supposed to give them up too just because she gets in touch with them?

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Originally Posted by Joeturner07

I said I stopped communicating with HER, not my other friends. Am I supposed to give them up too just because she gets in touch with them?

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How old are you? Handle it your way, the ball is in your court, everyone has
said what was necessary to be said on the subject.

To sum things up, I've been trying to avoid contact for a while. Running into her on Friday was not something I planned, and I only chatted with her on Skype because we were on at the same time, and she sent a message which sounded like she had calmed down. I foolishly believed this, and we had a tense conversation, which I ended first. Since then, I've been avoiding her again, but now she's approaching my other friends. This is a problem, because now some of them are turning on me, either because they believe the stuff she's making up, or because they want to stay on good terms with her.

I've been doing my best to not let this person get to me, but now she's affecting my relationships with other people! I didn't ask for this!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Joeturner07

To sum things up, I've been trying to avoid contact for a while. Running into her on Friday was not something I planned, and I only chatted with her on Skype because we were on at the same time, and she sent a message which sounded like she had calmed down. I foolishly believed this, and we had a tense conversation, which I ended first. Since then, I've been avoiding her again, but now she's approaching my other friends. This is a problem, because now some of them are turning on me, either because they believe the stuff she's making up, or because they want to stay on good terms with her.

I've been doing my best to not let this person get to me, but now she's affecting my relationships with other people! I didn't ask for this!

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Joe, remember everyone you meet in life are not your friends, they are aquaintances. If they turn on you after listening to what you consider a crazy acting girl they are just that. Move on, most people only have a few real friends.
One or Two if you are lucky.

If you are losing friends because of HER, then they were not your friends in the first place. You have to accept and adjust to your changing social circle. It's a right of passage into the very adult world of reality, that requires change in your attitude behavior and outlook. You can fight it all you want, and place blame where ever you want, but the final outcomes is what you do about the changes you are facing whether you like them or not.

Sorry but the revelation that people in your social circle like her more than you should tell you something about how you choose YOUR friends, and handle YOUR business. Just do better given the growing FACTS, and cope with them. That's one thing college tends to teach you besides book stuff, is people stuff, and making decisions based on facts and not just feelings. It may well turn out that she is NOT the only person you have to separate from, and leave alone.

KEPT DEFLECTING MY QUESTIONS
KEPT DEFLECTING MY QUESTIONS
No matter how you try to rewrite that ('thought she had calmed down,' what the heck), it is written.
You are deluding yourself.

The threads are now merged so that people can get the full story from the beginning.

I don't think you were 'subtle' as you claimed you were being when trying to figure out why she wasn't communicating.

I don't know which one of you is blowing things up out of proportion, but I don't think you have been as innocent as you may want to believe.

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The whole reason I'm asking is because I feel something is wrong, and I'd rather not let things get in between me and the people around me if it can be helped.

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I think both of you are terrible at communicating and something more is going on, but I have no idea for what to do about it. I do think you should be ready to show proof that you haven't been stalking her if police/authorities become involved.

One other thought is that maybe there is another person who is stalking her and you are being blamed. Is that a possibility?

Yeah. I know I have trouble communicating, but she's worse than I am, not wanting to do anything more than email or text. At least I have some proof that I wasn't following her: I ran into two friends (ones who don't know her) and talked with each of them at different times during the timeframe she claimed I was following her. I hope it doesn't come to this, but if she does take legal action, I just realized that they can support me at least...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Joeturner07

Yeah. I know I have trouble communicating, but she's worse than I am, not wanting to do anything more than email or text.

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Joe, I guess you don't get it, read your first sentence. What is it with you? You are playing a game. Read my Lips "Walk away, avoid her at all times, cross the street when you see her coming, don't even make eye contact, do you get it?" Move on before things happen that will make you sorry.

You don't ask what happened. Period. I think that is the wise way to handle it. If you ask her, she may think you are prying And nosy.