Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   My girlfriend insists on keeping in touch with some of her ex boyfriends. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=779089)

  • Dec 18, 2013, 08:06 AM
    Wondergirl
    Good grief! Of course they can be! I have scads of male friends who have never hit on me or even alluded to anything beyond friendship. And my husband's female friends have never flirted with him or pushed the envelope.
  • Dec 18, 2013, 08:29 AM
    J_9
    I am a female and I have many male friends. We frequently go out for breakfast after a long busy night shift at the hospital.

    There is nothing wrong with male/female friendships as long as there are boundaries and I think that is what this relationship is lacking. Boundaries.
  • Dec 18, 2013, 12:05 PM
    Tnas
    Zeaos01 just put it as it is, No gloves on the matter!
  • Dec 18, 2013, 12:25 PM
    odinn7
    I have friends that are women. Some are hot, some not. I don't pick my friends based on how they look. I have been friends with one woman in particular for many years now and yeah, we're just friends...nothing more. She wants nothing from me and I want nothing from her other than friendship.

    It IS possible for men and women to be only friends....you must live in the dark ages or something...or you're about 14 or 15 and think you have it all figured out.
  • Dec 18, 2013, 02:04 PM
    talaniman
    Obviously some can do it, some cannot. Back to the OP, its your choice if YOU can accept your female and her beliefs or NOT. Or if you are both willing to try a reasonable compromise. That's where long term relationships are built, how you deal with each other, no matter the issue, or conflict.

    Married 38 years, and been through MANY conflicts and issues, and still ready for whatever life throws at US. Most things in life are only as big an issue as you make them.
  • Dec 18, 2013, 08:00 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Men and women are never just friends
    Really? Never? That's a pretty bold statement. I'm married, happily, have been for 18 years. I have many male friends, and my husband has female friends. They are just that, friends.

    Quote:

    Even if your girlfriend has no feelings for these guys, then they do and will seize any opportunity to get close to her.
    Oh, and she's a brainless woman that can't say no, she has to give in because they're men? Is that it? They'll seize the opportunity to get close to her, and because she's just a woman she won't be able to make up her own mind about that?

    Quote:

    Men will not tolerate a woman who they don't find attractive in some way. What's the point?
    So friendship is all about how someone looks. When you make friends you only care about their outward appearance? That's possibly the saddest thing I've ever read on this site. Sad for you, because it's what you believe. What a twisted way of thinking you have.

    Quote:

    And I really don't see why a woman would want to hang out with an ugly guy.
    Again with looks. So the only way to measure the worth of a person is by how they look? If they're not attractive you want nothing to do with them, don't want friendship from them?

    Quote:

    Some women crave male attention to bolster their low self-esteem.
    Some women do. Women with very low self esteem sometimes do do this. But that's not all women. Some men do the same thing, but not all men. Sad that you're judging everyone based on some.

    Quote:

    The argument they will use every time will focus on her 'right' to have friends and to try and make you look unreasonable for not wanting her to. Don't fall for it.
    Why did you put the word right in quotations? You don't think women have rights? Don't fall for it? So what's he supposed to do, lay down the law, be a bully, an abuser, tell her that it's his way or the highway? Maybe if that's how he feels he should find a mouse of a woman that still wants to live in the 1800's.

    I'm guessing your male, and very young, and not at all wise to the ways of the world. Good luck with the way you view things, you'll be alone for a very long time with your attitude.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:00 PM.