Hi Irishgirl. Thanks for the reply post. It is nice to know that my hard experience has a positive side to it in that it can help someone else. That makes it easier for me to make sense of the why did it happen to me questions I sometimes have. I understand fully the effort you have been putting in to trying to not feel the way you do. I too have tried and failed. This has made me realize that feelings are not simply controllable and there is no off button for them. They just are and in that sense they are the purest form of expression of your true soul. Trying to stop them doesn't work, trying to change them doesn't work, trying to pretend they don't exist doesn't work... all of this leaves me with a horrible pressure that sits in my chest and makes me realize that I am not being true to myself... in a sense lying to myself... it is like being horribly angry but not allowing yourself to even acknowledge that you are upset... that complete disassociation from your feelings that really never works for any strong emotion. Your goal is to become more connected to your feelings (and I think all humankinds goal) rather than less. Anyway there is a site that does talk about soul mates that I have found to be helpful... many other kindred souls at this site and very non judgmental. I have also found that it could become a place that after the initial support was actually a bit draining... since it allowed me to at first learn and think but then instead of using the information I allowed myself to dwell there and use it as a crutch instead of moving forward with decisions in my life... I only mention this so that you may see its positive aspects as well as the negative potential that anything in life can have... and hopefully you can use it to understand the situation you are in better. To get there I would Google EZBoard and then once at the site search for twin souls and you will find the soul mate twin soul board. You will be amazed and relieved to see just how many people have and are experiencing the same thing. Good luck... PS: I think it is fated that you and I met in cyberspace since my soul mate is Irish and your screenname is Irishgirl. Who knows how the higher power works but he/she/they sure have a sense of humor. ; )
