Ask Me Help Desk - What does this mean?

DAMMIT I broke NC...

She 'confronted' me on msn asking if I had a problem with her and why I was ignoring her...
I was dumb enuf to respond. Anyway she said she had some news, but I said I didn't want to talk. And that was it... sounds harmless enough... but...
LET THIS BE A LESSON TO EVERYONE!! NC means NO CONTACT
I feel like crap knowing that 'she has news' even though I don't know what it is, it still sucks...
I'm really angry at myself for being weak, I don't know what I was trying to achieve...
Anyway, for anyone thinking about breaking NC, MAKE SURE UR READY!!

Relax and get back on the path, beating yourself up is a waste of time. But take it as a lesson that she is good at pushing your buttons. I have no doubt you will see other things you didn't realise about her in the future. I really don't mean it in bad way, but love does blind us sometimes.

Yeah I already am seeing things about her that I didn't really notice, or chose to ignore...
The reason I am angry is because I know how she always like's to be in control... finally, with NC, I had some control back...

I hope this experience helps other people, NC works, don't break it until you are ready to

:P Be strong!! Were rooting for you =D =D :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by where did i go wrong

yeah i already am seeing things about her that i didnt really notice, or chose to ignore...
the reason i am angry is because i know how she always like's to be in control... finally, with NC, I had some control back...

i hope this experience helps other ppl, NC works, dont break it until you are ready to

Of course you have control back...

Go one step further and change your phone number!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

Of course you have control back...

Go one step further and change your phone number!!

I think changing my number would hand all control back to her, meaning I would be changing something in my life because of her... I don't think it is a positive move

Quote:

Originally Posted by where did i go wrong

i think changing my number would hand all control back to her, meaning i would be changing something in my life because of her... i dont think it is a positive move

Not at all, with the greatest respect to you.

It is positive...

I did this and it worked wonders.. I stopped checking my phone wondering if she (my ex) had called or text because she did not know my new number. On the contrary, by doing this it shows her you are willing and able to move on without her and be unavailable. While there is a line of communication open, ask yourself, are you really free?

I can understand your point, but I think it may be a little drastic (no disrespect to you)
My situation is improving and I guess I can handle her being able to contact me by phone. I have ignored her text's, and I'm barely checking for messages at all anymore. My weakness is msn, and after today's incident I have blocked her on my list...

Good man! Keep it up. Delete it and her email 2 and do not store it, try to manually delete it from your brain - if you can do it. Ignore the temptation to re add

Quote:

Originally Posted by where did i go wrong

i can understand your point, but i think it may be a little drastic (no disrespect to you)
my situation is improving and i guess i can handle her being able to contact me by phone. I have ignored her text's, and im barely checking for messages at all anymore. my weakness is msn, and after todays incident i have blocked her on my list...

What works for me may not work for you.

I like Geoffs suggestion but sometimes changing your number might seem drastic. I couldn't because of work but I think I would have had it not been a work phone as well as personal. Not so I wasn't tempted to call her but so I didn't look every 5 minutes to see if she had called or messaged me.

But I understand why you wouldn't want to and that's fine. But if I were you I would block her on MSN, block her emails, take away all forms of contact with her. Don't you see you are allowing it to happen. Deep down I bet you are glad when it does but then afterwards you realise that it makes you feel worse.

Although you think changing your number is drastic surely you can't think that deleting her from MSN is as well. Do that and then things like this won't happen.

Remember you have control over what happens in your life. Not her or others but YOU! Its up to you to control it in the best way you can. And at the moment I don't think you are. But that is fine. We all learn the hard way. Its part of the process.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solid357

she needs you. call her and see what can be done. if you can't move on, and she still needs you, go to her. you can be eachothers strength. two trees falling on eachother can hold eachother up.

Hmmm I don't know, she seemed more angry than needy when she asked why I wasn't talking to her...
What if she doesn't need me, what if she just wants to tell me how fantastic her life is now without me..
That would be setting myself up for more hurt. Wouldn't it??

Quote:

Originally Posted by where did i go wrong

hmmm i dunno, she seemed more angry than needy when she asked why i wasnt talking to her...
what if she doesnt need me, what if she just wants to tell me how fantastic her life is now without me..
that would be setting myself up for more hurt. wouldnt it???

Im sorry but the advice you were given by solid here where did I go wrong is off the mark.

Please re-read everything else we have told you. You need to begin to move on. No contact!!

Its not that I don't trust you, but I'm more concerned about my hurt than hers, after all she was the one that left...

Bloody hell I'm so confused now, I want to know her 'news' even though it will probably make me feel worse...
NC, NC, NC, NC, NC, NC, NC, NC, NC, NC, NC, NC, NC, NC, NC, NC
Its so hard knowing that she'll be out of my life forever, even if it is for the best...

There is absolutely nothing to be gained by contacting her now. I can assure you of that. As I say, we all know where you are right now and it is painful and hurts a lot. But it does get better. You just have to trust us and listen!!

Ahhhh this sucks...

As we all know, Yes it does. So you had better get busy.

Maybe it's the booze talking, but I'm really ttempted to call her or email her to see what she's been doing with herself...
I mean I dun reallt want to know if she's been happy, but maybe she is missing me, because I'm sure missing her...

Absolutely no drinking and dialing, you will regret that action and make things much worse.

Hey there, I'm going through the EXACT situation and I'm telling you, be STRONG. My girlfriend broke up with me, and she's going out with her best friend now, but still she's still trying to reach me.

I tried NC and I always went back after 1-2 days because she always knows what to say. Last Friday I decided it was time to QUIT for GOOD. I just decided to ignore everything! Her calls, texts, MSN (that one is the toughest)! And it feels like I'm slowly gaining my power back (it's been only like 4 days)

And just as your case, yesterday she sent me was an angry face over the MSN because I was ignoring her, which made me feel bad. But dude, they were the ones that decided to dump us. They don't have the right to be mad at us, WE should be mad at them, but we're so damn blinded by what we feel that we keep wanting everything to go back as they were.

What I'm trying to say is that, every time she tries to contact you, keep doing what you're doing (cause I've been doing the same thing). Say to yourself: "what am I going to say to her?", are you just going to go and say "hi, how you've been?" I know you're dying to just talk for a couple of minutes to find out how she's been doing lately, but REMEMBER how it feels AFTER the conversation. How powerless you feel and how you reassured her that she still has control over you. They KNOW which buttons to push. NOTHING is going to change, the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be going back to square one after all the effort you've done to get to the point you are today.

Be strong brother! I know exactly how it feels!