Didi-
I don't think he suffers from BPD but I definitely think he feels superior. I'm sure that my wanting him and him not allowing it makes him feel pretty powerful. In the past he had told me he was insecure in the relationship, which I guessed my actions or comments contributed to, because as I said, I wasn't a saint (but not a devil either) pre or post break up (although now I'm not sure if he meant insecure in that sense as he no longer will acknowledge that comment). I almost wonder if the power he has had over me had been almost been a way of evening the scales for him. I don't think it would be a conscious thing... but it's got me wondering.
Also... very frustrating because he would tell me he was insecure or that I pushed him away but he will NEVER divulge the why or how. I believe that if you do something wrong you learn from your mistakes so as to not make them again. Not that this is an option with Andy anymore, but if you don't know how you are contributing to these issues (if you are) in a relationship how are you ever supposed to work through them? Back again to wondering if the problem isn't that he's a player or has BPD or has issues but just does not have the ability to communicate clearly. I think that explains why we broke up, why I 'got the wrong idea', and why I still feel like he gave me hope the last time we spoke.
The shame is that this is really hard for me because I care for him very much; when he makes those ambiguous statements it is easy to find hope in them. Which is why I wait... not really fair to myself.
