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Originally Posted by Adam carter

I want to get back with her sometime not move on. Im going to wait and give her time to miss me. Would a happy birthday not make her emotional that i can't be there to celebrate it with her?

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Na, she just wants to see if you'll contact. It's not because she cares about you, she just wants to see if she still has a hold on you. Typical girl game. It's the "I don't want him anymore, but I still want him to want me" game.

If you want to be a chump than send her a birthday wish. I'm sure she'll have a good laugh about it with her friends "see, he can't get over me, I'm that wonderful. What a loser". It will give her something to chat with her friends about. It will make her feel like she's hot and attractive.

If you don't contact her you show her that you're not desperate, that you don't need to keep hanging on to her, that you have your own life, and you're living it.

But hey, if you want to continue wasting your time on a girl that's made it very clear that she's no longer interested in you, that's your choice. Do what you want, we can only give you advice.

Hey,
I have her Facebook password which isn't healthy for me but I'm not sure why she hasn't changed it it doesn't make any sense to me? But anyway she is falling for this guy that I hate and she knows that and how do I distract her from him? Is it best that I just completely disappear from her for her to miss me? I hate this guys please help I'm so stuck

Talaniman Rule- When you get dumped disappear from their lives, get your own.

Now you have sunk to Facebook stalking? Stay off the Facebook. The devilmade you doit is a stupid excuse.

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Originally Posted by Adam carter

Hey,
I have her facebook password which isnt healthy for me but im not sure why she hasnt changed it it doesnt make any sense to me? But anyway she is falling for this guy that i hate and she knows that and how do i distract her from him? Is it best that i just completely disappear from her for her to miss me? I hate this guys please help im so stuck

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Disappear, but don't do it to make her miss you, she likely won't, that's just what you're hoping for.

She is falling for a guy that she likes, which isn't you. It doesn't matter that you don't like him, and that she knows you don't like him. She's your ex, that means that your opinion, and how you feel about what she does, no longer matters. You have no opinion about anything she does.

She probably hasn't changed her Facebook because she didn't remember that you know how to access it. Once she realizes that you're stalking her on fb, she'll change her info, and hopefully block you as well.

Until you accept that it's over, you will continue to feel the pain you're feeling now. The sooner you stop stalking, stop hoping that she'll come back, and start living your own life again, the better off you'll be.

Doesn't sound like you're ready to do that yet, so you're in for a lot more pain I'm afraid.

Saw my ex girlfriend the other day on a day/night out and she appeared beside me 3 times and tried to make me jealous walking with some other guy. She texted me twice that night and I never replied as I'm sticking with the NC rule. I managed to talk to her that day but it was only brief and we were both drunk and never brought up our relationship. She tried to grab my friend that night to ask him something/ tell something in relation to me but he didn't go up to her. I haven't talked to her since. What do I do to get her back?

>Merged Threads<

Maybe the two of you should stay sober to make informed decisions about your relationship with each other.

Adam, you have asked countless times what to do to get her back. We all tell you to STOP. It's like you aren't even reading our answers. It's getting pathetic. Pathetic!
You don't 'do things to get people back.' They aren't dogs in the pound, or a stolen iPod, or a car that stopped running!
On top of all that, she is playing games with you, toying with you, and you should be angry at being used and abused and being jealous of other guys, just to see you suffer and squirm and miss her. ANGRY!
GOOD for you for refusing to fall for the trap with the guy when you were drunk. Keep doing that. Don't play games back. Be proud of your own integrity, and be strong. That makes you a better person and more mature.

Keep your chin up Adam. Patience is a virtue. Abandon the "no contact rule" that is childish and it's foolish not to talk to her if she's trying to get a hold of her and you ignore her for the sake of some arbitrary rule. Stay devoted to her and talk to her whenever she wants to talk to you. Buy her a gift, start acting how you think she'd want you to act. Keep up avoiding the jealousy games and don't play any of your own.Be patient and stay devoted.

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QUOTE by Alty;
Na, she just wants to see if you'll contact. It's not because she cares about you, she just wants to see if she still has a hold on you. Typical girl game. It's the "I don't want him anymore, but I still want him to want me" game.

If you want to be a chump than send her a birthday wish. I'm sure she'll have a good laugh about it with her friends "see, he can't get over me, I'm that wonderful. What a loser". It will give her something to chat with her friends about. It will make her feel like she's hot and attractive.

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See! Show her she still has a hold on you. If Alty is right then, why wouldn't you want to provide the girl you like with a good laugh and make her feel good about herself.

I think it might have been this one - although I can't recall what I had for breakfast.

Saw her again last night in a club and she came up to me crying.. Saying its hard and she doesn't know what she wants etc. very confusing

Is she stalking you or something? You keep running into her. Don't make her confusion yours. Don't be sucked into her confusion.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Is she stalking you or something? You keep running into her. Don't make her confusion yours. Don't be sucked into her confusion.

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I think its just coincidence. She came up and started crying because she got with a guy in front of me and felt bad about it. She also said she wants to be there for me and for me to be there for her and many other things..

Be polite but ignore her overtures for more contact.

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Originally Posted by Adam carter

I think its just coincidence. She came up and started crying because she got with a guy infront of me and felt bad about it. She also said she wants to be there for me and for me to be there for her and many other things..?

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Sounds like your problem is solved eh? She said she wants to be there for you and for you to be there for her.. That sort of sounds like you guys are back together.

I wish that was the case.. I told her it wasn't the place or time to talk about unresolved feelings last night and if she wanted to meet up call me tomorrow and we can go for quick lunch and she said she would let me know when she will ring me but hasn't yet.. She said she is too busy today and I feel that's an excuse tbh.

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Originally Posted by garboozle

Sounds like your problem is solved eh? She said she wants to be there for you and for you to be there for her.. That sort of sounds like you guys are back together.

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Not even close.

Females are nurturers by nature, that's why we make such wonderful mothers. For a young female it's always hard to reject someone. We don't like to hurt anyone's feelings. You'll find that most times when a break up happens, it's the girl that suggests that you remain friends. She says it to soften the blow, and the guy takes it to mean that she's still interested. That's why staying friends with an ex usually doesn't work, they're both on different pages.

As she gets older, and after a few experiences like the one she's about to have with the OP, she'll learn that you have to cut all ties if you really don't want that person in your life romantically. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

If she wanted him back, she'd have him back. She knows he still wants to be with her. The fact that she's put him in the friend zone, is dating other people, speaks volumes. Sadly, the OP is stuck in the "she's talking to me, she doesn't want me to be hurt, that must mean she still loves me" loop.

Until the OP understands that she's only talking to him, wanting to be friends, because she doesn't want to feel bad, he'll continue hoping, and he'll waste his time clinging to that hope instead of moving on and finding someone that actually wants to be with him.

But hey, some people have to learn things the hard way, and it seems that Adam is determined to learn to follow that path.

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Originally Posted by Adam carter

I wish that was the case.. I told her it wasnt the place or time to talk about unresolved feelings last night and if she wanted to meet up call me tommorow and we can go for quick lunch and she said she would let me know when she will ring me but hasnt yet .. She said she is too busy today and i feel thats an excuse tbh.

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It is an excuse.

She doesn't want to say "I'm not going to be calling you, in fact, I'm not really going to continue being your friend. I'm just saying that because I don't want to be mean".

Adam, she's not coming back. She probably won't ever call. She's hoping that you'll figure out that she doesn't want to be with you in any way, without her having to actually tell you that.

She was on the pill when she broke up with me and she told me she went to the doctors because hormones were messed up etc and she isn't thinking the way she used to because of side effects from the birth control pills. Its all very confusing :/

Ok then, you know what? Ask her to go back out with you. Tell her you can't live without her.

You keep getting advice here about no contact and then you keep coming back making excuses and reasons and asking what to do... you're not listening and you're going to do what you want anyway so save us the time and just confess to her and be done with it.

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Originally Posted by Adam carter

She was on the pill when she broke up with me and she told me she went to the doctors because hormones were messed up etc and she isnt thinking the way she used to because of side effects from the birth control pills. Its all very confusing :/

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That doesn't mean she wants to be with you. In fact, that may be why she's talking to you. She's emotional, she's a girl, she feels bad about hurting you, but knows she doesn't want to be with you.

When I was younger, 17, I dated a guy for 2 years. I tried to break up with him many times during that 2 year span, because I really didn't want to be with him. Every time I'd break up with him he'd send me flowers, or call and ask if we could just have dinner as friends, only to surprise me with an expensive hotel room, chocolates, and flowers. I'd feel bad that he spent the money, and I'd end up taking him back, only to break up with him a few days later because I really didn't want to be with him.

But I was young, and I really didn't know how to tell him to leave me alone, without hurting his feelings.

After 2 years, and many breakups, many flowers, jewelry, everything to try to get me to stay with him, I finally cheated on him, and told him, hoping that would do the trick, that he'd leave me then, and I wouldn't have to deal with him anymore.

It worked for a while, but then he called "I forgive you, we can be friends". I fell for it again. :(

I finally broke things off with him right after Valentine's day. He actually bought me a ring and asked me to marry him! I told him no, and walked away, went to no contact. He tried calling me a few times. We didn't have caller id back then, so I wouldn't know it was him until I picked up the phone. As soon as I heard his voice, I would hang up. He showed up at my work a few times. I had security kick him out. It happened so often that security knew him very well. He showed up at my house a few times. My parents had to call the cops more than once to get him away from me.

It took a long time before he finally gave up. I sent him back all the jewelry, and hoped he'd move on. I share some of the blame, I should have gone no contact the very first time I broke up with him, but I was young, and I didn't want to hurt him.

Sound familiar?

I've being doing no contact. Its when I'm out she always comes up to me I never go up to her. Its hard to tell if she likes me or not but I'm not texting her or anything