So.. Talked to her again

She says I am amazing in bed and that she just wants a friendship with benefits.. What's the normal protocol for this guys lol..

In almost every instance I have seen one or the other develops deeper feelings and wants more than just a sexual arrangement. Even worse when one partner already has feelings and is miserable when the relationship doesn't go farther than sex. Either way it is almost always a painful disaster for one partner. Think long and honestly on your own feelings before you get talked into an arrangement that can blow up in your face down the road. Your already on a good path so why jeopardise it for a roll in the hay. Not healthy and I just think your g/f is desperately trying to keep some sort of control.

Don't do it. Soemone alwasys gets hurt. Tell you need more. She may come around she may not.

But be cool about this.

Don't tell her you need more.. don't tell her crap just be like no hard to get

So your not good enough for a relationship with but she wants you to help getr her rocks off? Nice girl.

Don't be their sex object. It will only end in pain for you. You still have feelings for her and she doesn't.

She doesn't sound like a very nice girl to me. Her true colours seem to be shining through recently.

Id forget her and move on.

That's sounds perfect. Focus on that. Sooooo mucfh time left in your life.

Well she saids she doesn't want a relationship with anyone she says... she says a relationship and sex with anyone else just doesn't appeal to her, but she says sex with me is amazing.. I don't understand why this is happening, she has to still have feeling for me because I know I'm not that great in bed..

I feel like I am in a perfect position to play some game, but I don't want to because I feel the same way, being with someone just doesn't appeal to me, the only person I want to be with is her... She basically feels the same way about me minus the relationship part.. how is that possible..

God this really sucks, I felt so good last night, now I feel like crap because I'm so afraid..

Is it possible all she wants is control? Errr I hate this..

That 'minus the relationship part' is a pretty BIG part wouldn't you agree.

What she wants to do is use you. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. If she can tie you down to a no strings attached sexual relationship then she is free to go off to any other guy as she pleases. It is a load of BS that something with someone else doesn't appeal to her.

Your feeling like crap because your letting her dictate to you how this thing will work. Don't let her. She is toying with you and in my opinion showing you no respect at all.

YES!! ALL she wants is control. She wants to know she still controls you. And at this point in time it appears she does. Are you willing to let her continue to or are you going to stick up for yourself and tell her that if she isn't wanting a proper adult relationship with you then she won't be having a sexual one either.

And it doest look like to me that she is ready for any type of serious relationship.

Time to head 'em up and move 'em out. All the way out. You don't need this kind of drama.

Errr as usual you're right,

For some reason I just figure if I were to be her friend, with benefits, maby one day we would be lying in bed together and her maby realize that she loves me like I love her, I know it's stupid.. I just don't want to lose her.

She isn't the perfect model girl, no one really knows her like I do, she has problems, many problems but I don't know, I just feel like she is hiding so much, all the time.. Like there is something she did in her past that she is afraid of, Ive never even looked at a girl yet she accuses me all the time, she is the most insecure girl I have ever met and it scares me sometimes, Sometimes I just want to sit her down and ask her about her past and ask her if there is anything she did that she is afraid to tell me, I want her to understand no matter what she did she can know that I will always forgive her and love her no matter what.

Is this normal? Is it normal for a girl to think their BF is like to good for her? I was a virgin before I met her, I have an extremely basic life, I have never really had a problem, she has many, she considered herself to be a, "whore" at one point and she has been raped twice, her parents are none existent her mom runs away every time something goes wrong and she met her real dad at 9 who is just high all the time.. People say I'm forever doomed because I'm attracted to people that need my help, I hope that isn't what this is cause I'm obsessed with her and her life.

About 6 months into our relationship she told me a few things, I took them badly, she told me she had sex with a few people that I knew before we went out, sure.. that's bad but it was before us, but the thing is, I took it badly and called her basically, a whore.. and I think that destroyed the trust for her and me, she trusted me with this information and I cast her aside.. I want her to know she can trust me..

She has never cheated on me, I know that, it just seems she hates her self in some way.. I wish I could explain it but I just want to help her..

Jeezus, I can go on and on, I think I need a shrink lol

Brother, I just went through this.
All you want is to get things on your terms.
Not to "play" her, but to avoid the dysfunction of her games - and get to a level playing field.

It is still tilted her way because she knows your limits: you'll come back - especially for sex.
NO ONE wants to hear negative talk of their lover - past or present - so, I'll just say that I am not a big fan of her line of FWB conversation.

**How old are you all?
If you are over 25 this is nutty. That's the age to see if someone has lifetime potential.

In summary:

1) Hold your line. Don't go back in. If she wants you, she needs to work for it. And being a F Buddy is NOT what you want or what you deserve. If you were Snoop Dogg go for it, but you are not rolling Compton style here.. You want a real realationhip. Tell her that's what you prefer.

2) Then, retreat. She needs to work a bit more.

3) continue focusing on your life and job

4) if she is your soulmate she'll step up. If not, you are not getting de-railed by her need for attention from an old flame that she seems currently incapable of properly returning - yet.

Sorry everybody-I must have been tired or something. There is nothing wrong with what Sypher said. I misunderstood what I was reading. Forgive me?

The new you is probably attractive to her now, if you fall back into the old you because of the contact you will probably go back to being unattractive, just be patient!

It sounds as though she has some massive issues with her self which are no doubt sadly due to harrowing past. IT is sad and there wouldn't be one person here who wouldn't feel sorry for her but unfortunately and as much as you'd like to, you can't fix her problems. She probably is hiding things from her past that torment her. You already know some of it and it is fairly clear that this wreaks havoc with her self esteem. As it would anyone I assume. But until she works it out and gets the help she needs and is comfortable with herself and who she is again then she is in no position to get into a relationship. And anyone she does enter will more than likely fail and it won't be for the right reasons.

She has some deep seeded problems I think that you can not help her with and to try would do her and yourself more damage.

I think your best option is to be kind and gentle with her but firm on your stance that right now a relationship isn't what is best for both of you. And trust me, hearing all of this it is quite clear that it isn't!