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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Why did he break up with you?
I think he uses sex to get back at you and that is just immature. If he says you two fight too much, why is he moving in with you? Do you want all that mess around your kid?
Maybe he has a piece on the side maybe not, but he would not be moving in with me and my child. Good sex is not worth all that drama.

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He broke up because he thought I didn't have enough time for him back then, when my daughter's nanny left and I was waiting for another nanny to come... so couldn't go out of the house too often... He also had his own trouble of finding himself in the new place where he moved into... he didn't earn that much money to spend on me or us to have fun... so he felt like not strong enough to be in relationship...
He moved in with me on the basis that we promised not to fight anymore... he said if I don't ever ask him about where he goes and who he sees or if he is talking to any other girls (in his words if I trust him 100%) he wouldn't fight at all... by the way who can trust a man 100% from the first few months of being with him...

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Originally Posted by Mercurian

From my point of view, there's not a lot of evidence to say that he is withholding sex as a form of punishment. He seems to be making a lot of excuses, fights being one of them. The real question to ask is "Why is he making excuses?" It could be any reason: cheating, he fell out of love, ED, etc.
You need to ask him, not us, because we don't know.

Edit: We don't know the complete nature of the relationship, or what bad habits either of you have, so I feel it's premature to villainize this guy. We don't know what he's going through.

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He is doing well at his job.. got used to the new place that he moved into since last December... so he is doing pretty well...
He always says that he loves me, he even tells my friends that he loves me.. he spends money on buying things for me sometimes and he always takes me to nice places... so why he is making excuses? I don't know...

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Originally Posted by Mercurian

I'd like to say that you don't know that for certain (that he is in fact holding on to anger for that long and denying intimacy). I'm waiting for what more information the original poster can provide.

But I'm also not disagreeing on the possibility. My focus is on getting to the truth and ameliorating the situation.

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Last night for example we had a great night, had drinks in bed and food and watched some TV, but no sex was involved at all... He keeps hugging me in bed, but no sexual touch..
I am still waiting and being super patient... haven't argued with him since ten days and still no change... he is all soft and nice to me and to my daughter but... no sex... I feel like cheating now... Should I cheat on him? Am too scared that I won't be able to live with myself... am not a cheater, never done it, never felt like I want to before:(

Why are you still with this man and having this man move in with you?

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Why are you still with this man and having this man move in with you?

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Because I love him? Why would you ask this question? I am looking for a solution, not a break up reason... of course if things are not solvable then, yes I will ask him to leave for good, but since I still have hope in us, I believe I should fight and fix things... Any comments?

You said he moved in with you on the condition you never fight. If you have a issue about something, are you not supposed to address it? Are you supposed to just accept everything he does, no questions asked? That does not sound like a good relationship to me. Sounds very one-sided.
I guess you need to talk to him, get him to talk to you, He is the only one who knows why he's not wanting sex.