Ask Me Help Desk - What's going on in girlfriends mind?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Genuineforce

Comparing me to an "addict" of any sort sounds like something you read out of a f***in book, as the comparison is non existant. An addict isnt as open as I am, and Doesnt value others opinions or advice as I do, the advice that Rol is giving me for example. I wonder who the real addicts are, I bet you 90% of people on the board take perscription medication, which are from the largest drug dealers in the united states. Although I have obvious issues, I choose the REAL way to deal with them through trial and error, not always the right choices obviously since I have gone to asking advice over the internet, but who's the real addict I WONDER, I take no medication, I eat healthy organic food, I smile everyday, hug people when I can and dont abuse my soul with negative energy from tv(the news) or newspapers and other forms of electromagnetic chaos that we live in this time..

Interesting...

I didn't compare you to an addict, you did.

I did suggest that your "working on it" might not be very solution oriented, just like theirs can be. But you seem to have missed that point. I know about such claims from working with in the recovery industry for over a decade so its many many experiences and a few f-ing books, as you put it, I suppose. Only you can decide if you are really doing any substantial work on your paranoia. Forgive me if I offended you-- that was not my intention. My intention was to spotlight the paranoia and how, while it may be substantially improved, may still be a big source of the problems you listed in your OP. You are, of course, free to take or not take any advice offered here and if you prefer I not comment, you only need say so.

For the record, I am presently not on any medications, have a satisfying time in my marriage and all the friendships I value here and in face-to-face world and have stated several times now for the record that I don't watch TV because of how sick the US culture is. LOL Isn't that strange?

I think you have gotten a reaction to the things you wrote that you didn't like, and that's fair, seems we all agree and correct me if I'm wrong but could you have come off to us as being full of yourself to the point that we have reacted maybe with a little... disdain? That's what public forums are about, opinion to what was asked and we do get your attraction to rol, we love her too. I hope you are as open minded as you say, as the answers to your questions were meant as food for thought, because we want you to be something other than the jerk your one step from coming off as in your relationship. Reread your own posts and see if you do not agree.

Forgotten, hehe. Its not a big deal I just wanted some clarification from you about that, and I had to state that I was not on medication because someone who is, is a major way to see that they have more problems that previously thought! Hehe.

I think it's great that you don't watch TV, and yes US culture is sick, hehe, would you be open to believing that the TV messes up your bodies balance just by it being plugged in? Hehe. I think it does, and I unplug it when I don't use it. Also are you into health foods? If you are that would be an interesting discussion.

And Rol, I look forward to your comments next time, take care!

<<Maybe I did tire her with all the sex hehe, but what about her saying she needs lots of sex before? And since I am going to see her on Friday, what changes do you think I should make to show her that I am learning to understand her in those ways, and what do you think is the right approach to sex with her etc?
>>

She gave you an important clue by telling you "its all about you baby" so this time I would make it mostly about her. Perhaps she was just tired and hormonal the last time . When she is in a mood like that you need to support her and show your love, and not make her feel bad because she did not do oral sex! And then ask her for 20 dollars lol, I can almost imagine how her brain is reacting to that.

You are now 6 months into the relationship, have you given her any direction as to where the relationship is going? Women need to know this , it is important for us. Perhaps this is why she is feeling a bit resentful right now also.you say "We havent said it to each other yet, and it isnt time to either because we must grow together realisticly and must really know each other in the long run before we get to that part.
" Does she know that ?

I would recommend the book 'men are from mars women are from venus on a date' by John grey. Its an excellent book showing how to communicte with both sexes, apologize, and explaining why women are like waves and how to support a woman and it goes through each stage in the dating process.
Perhaps you can even read it with her.

Hello once again! Thanks for the advice. My girlfriend is arriving this evening and I am preparing a weeking full of attention on her as we speak. I think that you may be right about her being tired and hormonal last time, I am not sure but it makes sense with her actions. By the way I have not ever mentioned the oral sex thing to her, I have only mentioned it to yo guys, because I don't want to pressure her and make her not enjoy doing it for me. As for the 20 dollars are concerned, I told her a couple days ago that I realized that I didn't even need it. I tried to say it in a way that she wouldn't think I was just saying that.

Yes 6 months into the relationship! You know what? We have talked in great detail about our future, children, careet advancements etc. These issues opened up a few months ago. She told me that she didn't want to scare me, actually she said that a lot of times, mainly on the subject of children. That gives me another question for you guys, I'll get to that now.

At one point she told me that she missed me so much, and that for some reason she can't stop thinking about me. Ok, so I didn't hide the fact that I think about her a lot either. I made a comment in a not so serious way (to take the chill off it just in case that was true), I said that hehe it must be love in the air. I didn't say it in a serious or non serious way, just a comment. Her reply to that was that she wasn't sure. Then she said that that would be way too early to tell something like that, and that she would never say that so early to me, she said that even if she did feel that way she wouldn't tell me.

OK, so I wonder is that a woman's way of trying to hide her love? Or is it something else? This happened before that trip that I mentioned I took to see her, so that "cold acting" situation happened after that conversation. So Rol (scorpio) what is going on here? Hehe. This woman has told me that she wants to have children with me a few times, so what I don't get is would a woman (scorpio in this case) tell a man all of that if she didn't love him? What the hell? Heh In the back of my mind I sense that she loves me but "wouldnt tell me if she did right now" as she said in that conversation, it came out of her mouth.

What advice do you guys have on this thing? Thanks by the way for all the help

<<This woman has told me that she wants to have children with me a few times, so what I don't get is would a woman (scorpio in this case) tell a man all of that if she didn't love him? What the hell? Heh In the back of my mind I sense that she loves me but "wouldnt tell me if she did right now" as she said in that conversation, it came out of her mouth.
>>

I doubt a scorpio woman would tell you she wants to have children with you and open up and tell you how much she missed you and can't stop thinking about you if she did not love you. We are quite deep like that and don't say things that we don't mean(well at least I am ha ha) She probably wants you to say it first, I would never tell it to a guy first. Maybe when you brushed it off by saying love is in the air she did not want to say that it was as she was afraid it would frighten you off.

Well good luck with the weekend, let us know how it goes

What age is she? In the 30s?

Chuff (capicorn) thinks that for a relationship that's only 6 months old you are thinking to far ahead with the love and children stuff. You've put it out there and she knows it's a possibility so now pull back and just have fun with her this weekend. Joke around, be fun and in a good mood, constantly smiling. If you start talking about love then it starts getting serious and at this point you want to maximize you time together with fun times.

I agree with you that would be a good idea. This whole week I have put my mental battles to rest and I actually feel good, I'll show her that I feel good and happy so that we can just have as much fun as we can

Exactly!! Great point Chuff!! I'd give u a st patricks day point but I cannot!;-)

Yes take it easy and have fun!!

Chuffs point about this being only a 6 month relationship is dead on. You too are still strangers getting to know each other. This is the time to being fun and enjoy getting to know each others ways and nuances.