It's not my intention to manipulate her or anything.. A part of me is ready to move on and give her as much space as she wants but another part says to me I should just say to her that I will not hurt her or try to control her and would only try to make her happy with me..

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by exenis

... A part of me is ready to move on and give her as much space as she wants ...

---

Listen to that part of you.

She asked for space. Be a good FRIEND and honor her request.

I think the part of me that's ready to move on just disappears every time I see her in person or online and we don't chat.. My hearts starts pounding fast and when I think that I'm not with her for the things I've done, I get depressed and really don't know what to do.. I don't know how long I can hold on like this.. Can someone give me an advice how to keep it together, I honestly don't know if I can continue like this

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by exenis

I honestly don't know if I can continue like this

---

And what other choice do you have except to ceaselessly contact her and drive her nuts and make her hate you totally.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And what other choice do you have except to ceaselessly contact her and drive her nuts and make her hate you totally.

---

You have a good point there.. It's just, I'm so attached to her and if I don't end up with her again my life would suck.. Would be even better to get hit by a bus that will probably hurt less.

I can relate. Tonight is the last night that my Ex will be at my condo with her stuff around. She moves out on Monday, but I'm out of town starting tomorrow. So I'm torn up inside. I know intellectually I should be happy that I'll get my space to myself, but I'm terrified of being alone.

Why? Because we just broke up and the pain is really bad. All I want to do is call her, hold her, comfort and be comforted. I'm hurt, and she has been my rock for the last 2 years.

But I know that if I do that, I'll get rejected and hurt even more.

So I'm going to go for a run with my running group. Coincidentally, this is my Ex's group, she started it and leads it. But we agreed that I get to keep the Wed runs, and she will not show up to run or to the bar after where I meet the runners for dinner.

So that is how I'm going to try and cope. Exercise and socialize. Then I have to go home and face her saying goodbye for the final time. Which again, leaves me full of anxiety and loneliness.

So you got to find a way to fill your time. For me it is running and then hanging out with friends, even if I don't want to run or hang out. I have to continue to go through the pain in as noble a way as I can, so when things start to subside, I'm going to be surrounded by my friends and in pretty good shape.

So far I haven't contacted her in 2 and a half weeks, but we still talk when we see each other and she smiles at me.. We went out me, her and a female friend of ours and things seemed OK.. That friend told me that she told her that she still loves me and said she hasn't met anyone or likes anyone else.. So right now I'm a bit confused.. Should I try to contact her now or talk to her when she's online (everytime she was we haven't spoken,wanted to give her the space)
Anybody has any advice for me please?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by exenis

So far I haven't contacted her in 2 and a half weeks, but we still talk when we see each other and she smiles at me.. We went out me, her and a female friend of ours and things seemed ok.. That friend told me that she told her that she still loves me and said she hasn't met anyone or likes anyone else.. So right now I'm a bit confused.. Should I try to contact her now or talk to her when she's online (everytime she was we haven't spoken,wanted to give her the space)
Anybody has any advice for me please?

---

Keep giving her space. That's what she asked for. If she wants to come back, she'll contact you. In the meantime, stop living each day hoping she'll come back. Go out and live your life. This is her choice, not yours. You shouldn't have to put your life on hold because of it.

No Contact except what has to be done under the circumstances.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Alty

Keep giving her space. That's what she asked for. If she wants to come back, she'll contact you. In the meantime, stop living each day hoping she'll come back. Go out and live your life. This is her choice, not yours. You shouldn't have to put your life on hold because of it.

---

I'm trying to live life, I go out with friends, go out for a walk sometimes by myself, but still whatever I'll do I think about her and since when I heard that she still loves me, I still have hopes of being together again

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by exenis

I'm trying to live life, I go out with friends, go out for a walk sometimes by myself, but still whatever I'll do I think about her and since when I heard that she still loves me, I still have hopes of being together again

---

So how long are you willing to wait? How long before you say "Okay, love isn't enough, she loves me, I love her, but she's not coming back"?

I'm not saying that it won't work out. but, I will tell you that I've been married for 17 years, with my husband, and we've been together for over half my life. It may shock you, but he's not the only man I've loved.

The other man, we had everything, great sex, compatibility, but like you and your girlfriend, we had issue. I asked for a break to think things through, and realized that love wasn't enough. Our issues were too big. I ended up with the man I'm supposed to be with, because we click on every level.

Love isn't enough. You two have issues, that's why she asked for a break. Love may not be enough to solve those issues, and you have to accept that.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Alty

So how long are you willing to wait? How long before you say "Okay, love isn't enough, she loves me, I love her, but she's not coming back"?

I'm not saying that it won't work out., but, I will tell you that I've been married for 17 years, with my husband, and we've been together for over half my life. It may shock you, but he's not the only man I've loved.

The other man, we had everything, great sex, compatibility, but like you and your gf, we had issue. I asked for a break to think things through, and realized that love wasn't enough. Our issues were too big. I ended up with the man I'm supposed to be with, because we click on every level.

Love isn't enough. You two have issues, that's why she asked for a break. Love may not be enough to solve those issues, and you have to accept that.

---

I'll wait as long as I have to, knowing that she isn't dating anyone and still have a chance of being with her..
In the past in high school I've waited for a girl for 3 and half years to be together and still that didn't happen(she wanted to finish high school first) and I don't want to go through that again..
I know it may sound a bit stubborn but I just don't want to give up that easily, I'll do whatever it takes, as long as it takes to make this happen again..

My husband was also jealousy and it was one of the reason that we broke up.I should not talk to any strange guys who he does not know.so don't do that and give her some respect.

Guys if you can help with this one too..
I've been thinking about calling her to tell her that if she loves me either we get back together and fix things or we should just take a break forever or to ask her what has she decided about us, whether we will be together or not or I should still wait for her to contact me.. Anybody has any advice ?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by exenis

Guys if you can help with this one too..
I've been thinking about calling her to tell her that if she loves me either we get back together and fix things or we should just take a break forever or to ask her what has she decided about us, whether we will be together or not or I should still wait for her to contact me.. Anybody has any advice ?

---

I've given you all the advice I can. You don't follow it. So my advice now is to do whatever you want and let the chips fall where they may.

Good luck.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Alty

I've given you all the advice I can. You don't follow it. So my advice now is to do whatever you want and let the chips fall where they may.

Good luck.

---

I know and I really do appreciate it but I don't want to let go,its really hard and I have hope that I can be with her again

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by exenis

I know and I really do appreciate it but I don't want to let go,its really hard and I have hope that I can be with her again

---

Then do what you want. Call her, don't call her, pour your heart out, don't pour your heart out. There is no right or wrong, she'll either want you back or not, and I'd bet that she made her decision about that as soon as she asked for a break, she just didn't have the courage to tell you.

So call her. But you have to be prepared that she may not give you the answer you want, and if that happens you have to move on.

You have no choice guy since you cannot let go and false hope has you waiting and wanting. We call it being stuck, and I think just seeing her around school is what keeps you stuck,and fullof false hope.

I hope you decide to go for 6 months of NO CONTACT what so ever. You being out of control and desperate was your downfall. You still are, and she knows it,and so does everyone who reads this post.

Hey guys a little update on this situation after my girlfriend told me that our relationship was over for good.
Lately we started talking again on the phone and one of the reasons she said it was over was because she thought that I told our mutual friend that she(the friend) tried to ruin our relationship and telling her some things I never said..

The next day my girlfriend (still ex) discovered that our friend was lying to her about the things I did not say and apologized to me for not trusting me..
Then she asked me if I still loved her and if I was with someone during our break.
She also told me she loves me but not the same as when we were together.
She said that things have a good possibility of working out and getting back together again soon.

Tomorrow she said maybe she would go to this concert but wasn't sure if she wanted to hang out with that friend that lied to her since she was going too.
I asked her what if I came would she hang out with me, she said yes.

I still love this girl but I still don't know what to do, should I be with her again or not, I'm just afraid that if we get back together she will leave me again and I don't what to do then, I couldn't do the same thing trying to get over her.

So if anyone has any advice I would be really grateful

She's not really interested I bet if you check her phn she's talking to someone else