I don't really know what really happened between you and her but I think she is in very similar to my position.I was with my husband for 7 years and married 2.in the last 2 years I was not happy at all,he had no job,depress,no social... I also having affair to other,I think it is the way out for me.I don't make my decision to leave or stay and fix my married yet but I want to know my other more for sure.so the chance for your girl friend to come back to you is very small.Calm yourself and take good care of your health,job,outside look.how come she can love you if you don't even love yourself?life is hard but please guys can you stay strong because we need strong men.I really said this to my husband many time but he does not take it right.
If you still love her then let her go find out about the other.it take 1 min to love some body but it take your whole life to understand them.so if she can't find a comment between her and him then she will be regret about break up with you and she might want to come back.by that time if you are tolerant man then you can welcome her back and I'm pretty sure that she will be totally loyalty to you after. To me love is not a revenge.if you guys love each other then nothing are really master.if she find him as her real love then you just need let her go and move on.

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Originally Posted by verydarkhere

i don't really know what really happened between u and her but i think she is in very similar to my position.i was with my husband for 7 years and married 2.in the last 2 years i was not happy at all,he had no job,depress,no social....i also having affair to other,i think it is the way out for me.i don't make my decision to leave or stay and fix my married yet but i want to know my other more for sure.so the chance for your girl friend to come back to you is very small.Calm yourself and take good care of your health,job,outside look.how come she can love you if u don't even love yourself?life is hard but please guys can u stay strong because we need strong men.i really said this to my husband many time but he does not take it right.
if u still love her then let her go find out about the other.it take 1 min to love some body but it take your whole life to understand them.so if she can't find a comment between her and him then she will be regret about break up with u and she might want to come back.by that time if you are tolerant man then u can welcome her back and I'm pretty sure that she will be totally loyalty to you after. to me love is not a revenge.if u guys love each other then nothing are really master.if she find him as her real love then u just need let her go and move on.

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Thank you for sharing your situation, I think mine a bit different, she just stopped loving me, most probably, I guess, she fell in love with someone else. I already accepted the fact that it is over, she won't come back.. I mean she won't ask me to be back ever. I know it is only few days gone, but the pain is unbearable. I have a mood swings all day long, and I know that woman wants strong man, but I can't help it. I'd like to take a long break from job and disappear somewhere, but I used almost all my holidays this year to spend with my father. I have to swallow it and eventually I will, but now I have no strength at all. It is not uniq situation, and it is not a first time for me, it is just that this relationship felt serious, lasted long enough to feel as a family.

A few days which will not explain anything for sure.it take time for her to realize that if that guy is good enough for her.I also fell in love with my lover but I'm too weak to walk out like your girl friend did.I also did not want to break my husband heart and he just start job for couple days ago and he is already hurt.
U need social at the moment,don't stay alone.Just don't do anything which make your life worse.if you do that you just make her feel like her decision were right.let's make her feel jealous that you will be better than the man you were before and the man who she is with.

Coming from a girl's perspective, maybe you should be a little more aggressive about how you're feeling (not physically lol). Just let her know how you feel and hold the tears back. Be a strong man. I stick to the philosophy that once you fall in love someone, you don't STOP loving them. It's more than likely that feelings begin to fade, not in all certainty completely vanish. Spice it up a little, she's probably tired of the same old things. 6 years is a really long time and if you guys weren't meant for each others you wouldn't even see 6 months! Not everyone is blessed to find and keep love, so once you've found it it's best to hold on TIGHT!

I'm sure you guys should be fine. Give it some time. If she comes back you know it's meant to be. If not, there is someone out there that God has waiting, just for YOU. :) good luck :)

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Originally Posted by verydarkhere

a few days which will not explain anything for sure.it take time for her to realize that if that guy is good enough for her.i also fell in love with my lover but I'm too weak to walk out like your girl friend did.i also did not want to break my husband heart and he just start job for couple days ago and he is already hurt.
u need social at the moment,don't stay alone.Just don't do anything which make your life worse.if u do that u just make her feel like her decision were right.let's make her feel jealous that u will be better than the man u were before and the man who she is with.

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I actually start thinking about things I can do when I have ao much time on my own, it makes my mood change, the weather is sunny and it feels OK, I start thinking that she made mistake, I do hope she will find what she is after, or if she did, I hope she is happy, deep inside I feel A bit of an anger, what is not good, I know, but it helps to cope a bit, probably it is mood swings too.

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Originally Posted by Piercing_Lover_

Coming from a girl's perspective, maybe you should be a little more aggressive about how you're feeling (not physically lol). Just let her know how you feel and hold the tears back. Be a strong man. I stick to the philosophy that once you fall in love someone, you don't STOP loving them. It's more than likely that feelings begin to fade, not in all certainty completely vanish. Spice it up a little, she's probably tired of the same old things. 6 years is a really long time and if you guys weren't meant for each others you wouldn't even see 6 months! Not everyone is blessed to find and keep love, so once you've found it it's best to hold on TIGHT!

I'm sure you guys should be fine. Give it some time. If she comes back you know it's meant to be. If not, there is someone out there that God has waiting, just for YOU. :) good luck :)

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Thank you for the wise words. I agree that true love never die, what meant to be will be. If it was not real and she saw it, then may be I'll see that too at some point. The emptyness inside will be full.

Have time for yourself,enjoy watch your favorite TV show again.don't make any decision when you are still angry,hurt,love confuse.your girl friend cried when you moved out which mean she still care about you and not totally over you so if that guy is not good enough for her then she going to be regret.
Forgive her and forgive yourself and move on.don't u feel happier when nobody get angry at you when you go out to drink until late?I hate it when my lover did it.nobody boss you around.get your life back together.sometime good things come along with bad things.be strong.I also hope I will make right decision too.wishes someone can just do it for me.

Just give it time until you can start thinking rationally rather than emotionally then see things from there. See what went wrong with the relationship and with you, you can't change her only you

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Originally Posted by verydarkhere

have time for yourself,enjoy watch your favorite tv show again.don't make any decision when u are still angry,hurt,love confuse.your girl friend cried when u moved out which mean she still care about u and not totally over you so if that guy is not good enough for her then she gonna be regret.
forgive her and forgive yourself and move on.don't u feel happier when nobody get angry at u when u go out to drink til late?i hate it when my lover did it.nobody boss you around.get your life back together.sometime good things come along with bad things.be strong.i also hope i will make right decision too.wishes someone can just do it for me.

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Thank you for sharing that and I hope you will sort your problems and doubts, I hope you will find a courage to speak to your husband about everithing you feel, I hope that you will give him the last chance, and after that another chance, man need that, we can't hear, we can't see, even if we really care, we need to be shaken, then we see things clear again, and we all have to make decisions for ourselves, may be my girl was scared to do it, may be she was waiting for me to make it, may be because I was so blind, did not treat her as I should, as she expected, she had doubts and stopped believing in our relations, stopped believing that I love her and finally decided for herself what is best for her. I can't blame her for that. I'm sad she does not want to rethink. She cried because I was so miserable, she cares about herself more, not me, I had to care about her and I failed to do it, failed to show my appreciation for her.
I had a dream last night that we made up, that she accepted me back, it was so painfull to wake up and realise it was just a dream.

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Originally Posted by stanmatt

just give it time until you can start thinking rationally rather than emotionally then see things from there. See what went wrong with the relationship and with you, you can't change her only you

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I thought that she can change, I thought that I can, I still think I can, she says that I will never change, but you are right, I have to give it time.

6 years together are along time.it was more than just love,like her soul mate.if she made her decision to leave then I don't think she will come back.
You need to go to the therapist.my husband was depress so bad when the news were hit him.he drunk so much and got DUI.when I wanted to give him a chance but he made his life worse then I need to think again.we still love you but we can't stand to see you being miserable.we don't get any younger to waiting for you guys to change.my husband felt better with the therapist and he accepting the fact.
You should move on and find someone else and don't make the same mistake again.always fins out why your girl friend does not want to be home a lot.we want to be around happy guys.I don't know if I want to give my husband another chance because it hard to change who he is.better just done now than hurt 1 more time.

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Originally Posted by verydarkhere

6 years together are along time.it was more than just love,like her soul mate.if she made her decision to leave then i don't think she will come back.
you need to go to the therapist.my husband was depress so bad when the news were hit him.he drunk so much and got DUI.when i wanted to give him a chance but he made his life worse then i need to think again.we still love you but we can't stand to see you being miserable.we don't get any younger to waiting for u guys to change.my husband felt better with the therapist and he accepting the fact.
you should move on and find someone else and don't make the same mistake again.always fins out why your girl friend does not want to be home a lot.we want to be around happy guys.i don't know if i want to give my husband another chance because it hard to change who he is.better just done now than hurt 1 more time.

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But sometimes there are circumstances, that make you sad, I never wanted to upset her with my problems, I do understand now that I had to share my thoughts with her, but it did not happened, she could have been a bit more sensitive and try to understand too. She wants to be around happy guys? But why don't she remember who was near her when she had hard times? I mean, why women only remember bad things, you saying to be positive, go out, enjoy the beautyful world, don't be miserable and sad, but when you look back, you only see sadness. As it was said earlier it was almost 6 years, if it was that bad, why so long? There are bad times in life, everyone has them, they will go away. I accepted that arguments is part of very close relationship, we do have them with members of our families. She become part of my family, I do know I treated her not fairly, but there was a good times, there was so many good, perfect times, beautyful moments together much more of them that sadness and we both enjoyed them. Why suddenly that is deleted from memory and does not want to be remembered?
I understand that I was not good enough where I could, I did not make effort where I should, but why she does not understand that she is doing just the same now? Is that revenge? If it is, then I agree, we did not meant to be together and I just wasted nearly 6 years of my life on a doomed relationship.

How long were you have been miserable?if you think it was too long then you can't expect her to handle it through that long.Because it is long time relationship so peoples get bore,don't put enough work on it to make it work.if both of you does not refresh it then break up will be in the option.I think your girl friend is a bit heartless she did not explain why she wanted to left and let you dry.so she is not worth it with what you did to her.she wants to move on so she does not want to think about good memories with you.Every time I think about our good memories then I don't want to leave him.But staying with unhappy person which is very bad situation to us.it make us feel like we can't bring you happiness and it make us sad.
I'm not agree that you said that you feel like you wasted 6 years of your life in a doomed relationship.your girl friend also ages.she spend 6 years of her youngest ages with you.you said the same thing as my husband said and I got mad for that.I have been with him since I was 20 and I almost 30 now so stop saying that.

Today I feel all the power of breaking The Silence rule, I had to text her as I messed up about one money issue, and I had to notify her because if I would not and she would find out later it would look nasty and intentional. My text was casual, consisting only facts, but my heart was beating faster until I've got an answer. Which consisted of Ok, and couple questions about the issue, that were really explained in my first text, but I answered, and it ended with thanks and notatalls. And now all day I feel pain, and emptiness, and sadness and unfairness of life. Sh1t. And I have to move my belongings next week, which means that I'll meet her again. I want this pain go away now, I want to sleep properly, wake up in a good mood or at least neutral. Eh..

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Originally Posted by verydarkhere

how long were u have been miserable?if u think it was too long then u can't expect her to handle it through that long.Because it is long time relationship so peoples get bore,don't put enough work on it to make it work.if both of you does not refresh it then break up will be in the option.i think your girl friend is a bit heartless she did not explain why she wanted to left and let you dry.so she is not worth it with what u did to her.she wants to move on so she does not want to think about good memories with you.Every time i think about our good memories then i don't want to leave him.But staying with unhappy person which is very bad situation to us.it make us feel like we can't bring you happiness and it make us sad.
I'm not agree that you said that u feel like u wasted 6 years of your life in a doomed relationship.your girl friend also ages.she spend 6 years of her youngest ages with you.you said the same thing as my husband said and i got mad for that.i have been with him since i was 20 and i almost 30 now so stop saying that.

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Well said, of course it was not waste of time, it was good time mostly, only about year and a half I was down, not social, boring, but I had an explanation. She could have tried to change my moods. Well I don't blame her, I blame myself.

One and half year in depression is long enough to make her life miserable too.I don't think she can change your mood if you don't know what you want and can you do for your life.if you feel like you are useless,loser... then only you can help yourself.let accept life is suck sometime and deal with it.the strongest man can date a very stupid woman but woman always need a strong man.have time yourself to think what will make your life better,what do you missing to do while you were with her.Single life isn't that bad,you can do what ever you want,no need permission from anyone,don't have to share your moneys you earn,. there will be good things along bad things.Accept the fact and don't look back.it is hard to do but you can do it,just need time.
When I was teenager,you boyfriend dumped me and I was depress and sad,did not want to eat,sleepless for awhile but I though again,he will not come back to me if I looked like this.I tried to eat and made myself look good again.He saw me look better then he came and asked me back.I knew it is just kid story but he actually asked me back.
I'm in very hard position too but I will not let myself down,if I look shabby then I will lose them both.I just signed up for the gym last week and it help a lot.

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Originally Posted by verydarkhere

one and half year in depression is long enough to make her life miserable too.i don't think she can change your mood if you don't know what u want and can you do for your life.if you feel like you are useless,loser....then only u can help yourself.let accept life is suck sometime and deal with it.the strongest man can date a very stupid woman but woman always need a strong man.have time yourself to think what will make your life better,what do u missing to do while u were with her.Single life isn't that bad,you can do what ever you want,no need permission from anyone,don't have to share your moneys u earn,....there will be good things along bad things.Accept the fact and don't look back.it is hard to do but u can do it,just need time.
when i was teenager,you boyfriend dumped me and i was depress and sad,did not want to eat,sleepless for awhile but i though again,he will not come back to me if i looked like this.i tried to eat and made myself look good again.He saw me look better then he came and asked me back.i knew it is just kid story but he actually asked me back.
I'm in very hard position too but i will not let myself down,if i look like then i will lose both of them.i just signed up for the gym last week and it help a lot.

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You are not my girlfriend, are you? You do speak similar. :) I know and understand that what you are saying is true, but at the moment my brain and my feelings live separate lives.. apparently.. I guess hers too.

No,I'm not your girl friend.I think we have similar situation and she left you without explanation so I tried to tell you how she might feel.I hope it helped you to understand the reason why she left.
I think I would like to check out my boy friend life and if it does not work then I will be on my own again.my husband would not want me anymore if I go to him.but other side life is too short not to dare to do what you curious about.soon you are regret then life is almost over.
Don't waste more time of your life,times are running.stand up and run.

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Originally Posted by verydarkhere

don't waste more time of your life,times are running.stand up and run.

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I believe that my girlfriend was advised to do exactly that :( .
But I can't agree. We put a lot of effort to get where we are together, why destroy everything? Why hurt yourself and the one you love, may be not the same love you had some time ago, but in life there are ups and downs, and feelings are just the same, you feel in love and then may be not so much, but you have respect, and you know it all will be good, don't you think?

Are you trying to talk yourself into straying from the healing path? Or just ruminating? Don't be distracted by the business at hand to make the final push for a clean break. Until then you of course will struggle with your own feelings.

Did you put any more effort in the last one and half year?just like a business,if you want your company keep going and expand it then you need to keep work more and more everyday.if you stop work on it,it will stay stable for a while then get shaking then collapse.
Me and my ex teenager boy friend had relationship for 3 years,we were dated the whole time in high school.but we broke up because it did not worked for both.I was very sad and tired then I met my husband later so I was glad that me and my teenager boy friend broke up.bad thing gone and good thing come along.

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Originally Posted by verydarkhere

did u put any more effort in the last one and half year?just like a business,if you want your company keep going and expand it then u need to keep work more and more everyday.if you stop work on it,it will stay stable for a while then get shaking then collapse.
me and my ex teenager boy friend had relationship for 3 years,we were dated the whole time in high school.but we broke up because it did not worked for both.i was very sad and tired then i met my husband later so i was glad that me and my teenager boy friend broke up.bad thing gone and good thing come along.

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I believe that I would have noticed if it was shaking, it's changed rapidly, it was something that I did not expect, and I did not know how to cope with it straight away, I was very emotional, I still do not know how to cope with it. I'm trying hard to not remind her about myself, I do not know will that make her happier now. I hope it will, it's just there is feeling that something was not said, not talked through properly. I know words would not change anything straight away, but in a long term may be there will be positive reflection. I don't know what to say when I'll be back to collect my belongings.