Ask Me Help Desk - Is my ex-coming back ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by LBP

Everyone has given great advice!

But I'd also tell you this... It's quite obvious that this woman thought you had no spine, no character to speak of... She clearly assumes she can walk all over you and you'll come running back, asking for more. Do you think that this is the first time in five years that she's cheated on you?

I bring this up only because of your reactions to being so hideously disrespected... I mean, it doesn't even sound like she enjoysd your company... That she's using your abundance of affection to make herself feel good and for no other reason.

Time to man up my friend - that means when you get slapped in the face, don't ask what you did wrong unless you REALLY did do wrong. You've been getting nothing but crap from this girl and it's time to shut the door and FAST. DO NOT RESPOND TO HER MESSAGES IF SHE MESSAGES YOU (I think at some point she will). Cut her from your life completely. All this woman (more like an immature girl) did was turn you into an amoeba with no life, no character and no courage.

You need to take those things back for yourself, to grow up and become a man again, a man that women want and men want to hang out with. Remember to look after yourself and to not take this crap from anyone, especially from the person you're in a relationship with...

When you said she went out and never called you and then rolled her eyes at you when you were upset... MAN! I got angry just reading it! Don't let people do this to you ever again. Call the shots and sit in the driver's seat - the first step is going NC with this girl and not stopping EVER. She's dead to you, my friend - the sooner it happens the better.

You have asked the golden question. How many times did she cheat in 5 years... I wish I new my friend. But come to think of it, I really think all these other times when she went out by herself or with that friend or pretended to go out with her, I think something went up. And I say this because, I found out about everything after her departure, when that same friend posted a comment on this dude site by saying " I really hope you'll now take care of my girl" Before that comment I was all thinking where did I go wrong?
Also, the only reason why I was upset with her not calling on coming home sooner is that her behavior the whole week after she has annonced she will be going out on Saturday was weird and suspicious also when she came home, she had that big and funny smile that sent me the message.

I really don't think there's any getting her back. I can't explain why the sudden change of heart after 5 years but constantly calling and IM-ing her won't cut it. I think you just need to cut your losses and move on. I know it's not easy but it'll get easier with time. Move on, rebuild your life, without her. Do your thing and don't even worry about her. I know a part of her will always be with you but she can no longer be the center of your life. Leave her in your memory and get on with your life.

Definitely not worth it but its hard to take or comprehend. I had an ex who I was with for 4 years andthen she cheated on me and said to me oh well I never really liked you anyway. I was devastated but found out later down the track she had been off cheating on other occasions anyay t was terrible but for the best I adventually got over it and its hard I know how your feeling but if you think clearly you don't want to be with anyonewho cheats... not worth it no moral values

This happened to me exactly. It has been 8 months already and come to realize that my partner was just using me. This is hard to accept. If one spends most of the relationship trying to make the other one happy, and still not enough, she is not worth it. I did everything for her. She calls me to tell me that she misses me but just wants to be friends because she is lonely. I told her that we couldn't be friends. I have survived but now I have to learn to forgive myself for forgetting about my life. Take it slowly, you will get over it. I have learned so much these past few months that I wouldn't trade this for anything. I am a great person, I now know that I deserved someone better. So should you. Forget about her, do other things, do good things for yourself, go to movies, walk in the park, go camping. You will be surprised at how much you have missed!
Good luck.