Ask Me Help Desk - Getting over my ex

Quote:

Originally Posted by X-stream87

It takes two people to work something out if only one person wants to work it out but the other person is not willing to try then there really is no point and if there not willing to work on it even after four years then what does that say about the relationship? or better yet what does it say about where the relationship would eventually end up even if you work it out now.

You are so normal, and I have to applaud you for accepting what is going on and taking the right steps to start the healing process. It speaks much to your maturity and a healthy ability to make decisions, that will help you along in getting past this experience. Hang in and realise that the posts of A... are the wails of someone in pain and doesn't yet know what you know.

Relationships that have last that long are generally the hardest to get over . It does sound like you still have feelings for your ex but this will take time to get over and not that you will not still love your ex in someway , but you with time there are ways to move on meet new people and not forget those that were important , but move along eventually.I am sorrie if it sounds drastic, but you will heal in time .

Good luck with all that you do , try and get out there and focus on the things you enjoy in life rather than sitting ina miserable state ( so to speak) , that way you will be able to see that life has more to offer than a painful memory .Keep the good times that you had with your ex in your memories little box that way you will never forget her but , manage to ease / learn how to deal with your life more .

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

You are so normal, and I have to applaud you for accepting what is going on and taking the right steps to start the healing process. It speaks much to your maturity and a healthy ability to make decisions, that will help you along in getting past this experience. Hang in and realise that the posts of A......... are the wails of someone in pain and doesn't yet know what you know.

Lol this was too funny. Actually that post was the wails of an optimist holding on to an empty glass trying to fill it with whispers of sweet nothings. Lol

<there was nothing there to begin with>

A set back in getting over my ex

Okay so I have posted on here before about how I was having trouble getting over my ex girlfriend of four years, its been about five months now since we broke up, Basically everything was great for awhile there I was getting everything back to normal I was exercising, hanging out with my buddies, working. All this was going great for me until I went out last night with my some friends of mine who just so happen to hang out with my ex sometimes, One of them made the mistake of telling me that she was now officially dating someone new (the guy she broke up with me for) finally. Im not sure why but the second I heard this it just tore my heart out.

The thing is I knew its was going to happen at some point and I knew it would be with this guy but I suppose it's the reliaztion of her being with someone new that bothers me so much, and when I think about it I get such a mixture of emotions I feel so sad but at the same time just incredibly angry.

Now at the same time I at least have my friends support who know I want no contact with her so they told straight out that they wouldent invite her out if I was going and vice versa. Which is good because that will make healing over this hump a little easier but I know anytime I see the her and her new boyfriend together It going to set me back every time.

The funny thing is that she wasent even the best girlfriend in the world to me at least just because she was so bossey and demanding and always had to have things her way but that doesent change the fact that I loved her and even though I do not want to out with her again at the same time I just cannot stand seeing her with anyone else, and knowing that she is happy with someone else.

So if anyone has some advice or persoanl storys that could help me through this rough patch I would really appreciate it.

Thanks for reading.

So your trying to say, it's been 4 years since you broke up, and you still think about her. That's crazy dude I personally hope that doesn't happen to me. And the only advice I can give you is once I've figured my problem I promise to pass the message straight to you. Good luck.

Of 4 years we where together for four years, have been broken up for five months lol.

I know how you feel. This is a hard situation. When my ex emailed me in November that he was now living with the girl he dumped me for, it was a total setback for me. That was probably the point at which I gave up all hope of any reconciliation. I know that in my heart, until I read that email, I did harbor hopes that we might get back together because I truly cared for him. In a way, I felt that the breakup was all new again (when he casually told me the news) because I think I had been avoiding the pain of accepting the end by harboring the hope. Does that make sense at all? The only advice I can give is to keep doing what you have been doing. Keep the no contact going and give it more time. You will be back to where you were again soon. Hugs to you.

I think a breakup would be a lot easier if you knew that the other would never hook up with anybody ever again. Unfortunately, it seldoms works that way.
Just remember... "Everything happens for a reason." You are going to meet somebody that is going to fall head over heels in love with you. God had to free you up from this last girl, to make sure that you were available when he sends you an angel. :)
Best of luck to you.

Hi X-stream,
My boyfriend moved on after only a couple of weeks to a new girl. It crushed me too. Try to look at it in a good way though (I know that seems so hard) Think of it like now you know it's finally over... Now you can really start moving on. You deserve a girl who isn't so bossy and demanding! You only get to live once, don't settle for someone who is selfish and needs everything their way.

Just try to hang in there. Keep doing things everyday that make YOU happy! This was just a little set-back. Stay on that path of healing!

This is not a setback, its only another glitch to overcome. There will be situations that catch you by surprise, but with each one it gets better as you realise that you dealt with it correctly. I bet your stronger for it, and that is the way to handle it. Feels terrible for a while, but just let it go, and keep doing exactly what you've been doing.

I agree with tal...

In the midst of my breakup, I have had a few things that really worried me at the time. I would be quite scared about how "bad this is going to hurt in the morning" and "what have I done, I ruined all my progress...

To be honest, when the time comes, I notice that it affects me much less than I had originally thought it would. That is a sign of healing, and I'm sure you will be the same. It is nice to realize that more serious things can now cross my mind, and my reaction is much less severe that it would have been, or than I expected.

Don't fret too much :)

Thanks all I find all your advice helpful and reading it and knowing I have support from people who have been through the same thing makes me feel better already. So thank you again.