Ask Me Help Desk - So you need to slow things down.

I think the best way to attract females is through friends and activities you enjoy, and develop through friendship enjoying the company of others. But if it's a one night temporary lust filled slam bam thank you ma'am type of thing, then you visit your local watering hole or meat market, and you get what you get.

I know you are young, 25, so the caliber of females or gay guys you may be looking for is going to depend on the caliber of activities and endeavors you take part in, but first, you best decide on what kind of person you are, and how patient you can be, because even with on line or quick dates, there is seldom a such thing as instant success.

Its all about experimenting, and exploring your world, and chosing carefully the path you take. How much risk are you willing to take and how smart you are about who you give your heart (and body to).

Enjoy the process, it's a rather long and tedious at times but can be as fun as you make it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

I think the best way to attract females is thru friends and activities you enjoy, and develop thru friendship enjoying the company of others. But if its a one night temporary lust filled slam bam thank you ma'am type of thing, then you visit your local watering hole or meat market, and you get what you get.

I know you are young, 25, so the caliber of females or gay guys you may be looking for is going to depend on the caliber of activities and endeavors you take part in, but first, you best decide on what kind of person you are, and how patient you can be, because even with on line or quick dates, there is seldom a such thing as instant success.

Its all about experimenting, and exploring your world, and chosing carefully the path you take. How much risk are you willing to take and how smart you are about who you give your heart (and body to).

Enjoy the process, its a rather long and tedious at times but can be as fun as you make it.

You are an awesome individual and a very accomplished individual. I look up to you in many ways. Thank you so much for the advice. May you be blessed by the God I do my best to serve. Jesus Christ

AGold. I met my husband when I was still pretty young. We were both 19 at the time, and we've been together since. I'm slightly older than 40 (41 to be exact), and my husband and I will be celebrating our 17 wedding anniversary in a little over a week.

Why am I telling you this? Well, bear with me. ;)

I have a past. A past that most people don't want to hear about, and I won't get into here. But, I will say that I dated a lot before I met my husband. I dated all the wrong guys, a few nice guys, but most of the times, the guys I dated, I dated for the wrong reasons.

The night I met my husband I was actually taking a break from dating. I had come to a crossroads in my life, and for once I wasn't looking for a guy. I was happy being single, and wanting to be single for a while, to figure out who I am. My hubby just happened to cross my path that night, and when he asked for my number I seriously thought "fine, I'll give it to you, and we can be friends, but that's it!"

Well the little bugger sneaked into my heart.

In my experience, when you stop looking, that's when love will find you. Just go out, meet people, be open to every experience, every friendship, and when you least expect it, love will find you. It sounds corny, I know, but for me it was so very true. Heck 22 years together, 17 years of marriage, 2 beautiful kids. That pretty much says it all. And trust me, if you had told me 23 years ago that this would be my life, that I'd find a guy that loves me despite everything, I'd have laughed in your face.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

AGold. I met my husband when I was still pretty young. We were both 19 at the time, and we've been together since. I'm slightly older than 40 (41 to be exact), and my husband and I will be celebrating our 17 wedding anniversary in a little over a week.

Why am I telling you this? Well, bear with me. ;)

I have a past. A past that most people don't want to hear about, and I won't get into here. But, I will say that I dated a lot before I met my husband. I dated all the wrong guys, a few nice guys, but most of the times, the guys I dated, I dated for the wrong reasons.

The night I met my husband I was actually taking a break from dating. I had come to a crossroads in my life, and for once I wasn't looking for a guy. I was happy being single, and wanting to be single for a while, to figure out who I am. My hubby just happened to cross my path that night, and when he asked for my number I seriously thought "fine, I'll give it to you, and we can be friends, but that's it!"

Well the little bugger sneaked into my heart.

In my experience, when you stop looking, that's when love will find you. Just go out, meet people, be open to every experience, every friendship, and when you least expect it, love will find you. It sounds corny, I know, but for me it was so very true. Heck 22 years together, 17 years of marriage, 2 beautiful kids. That pretty much says it all. And trust me, if you had told me 23 years ago that this would be my life, that I'd find a guy that loves me despite everything, I'd have laughed in your face.

Thank you so much Alty You've actually brought a tear to my eyes. I've been a loner for a very long time and have been very frightened to let people fully into my personal life due to a fear of them running when they found out about my past. If you're willing I'd like to tell you a little bit about myself. So I can begin to get it off my chest

Dude this is YOUR thread to bare whatever, and get whatever off your chest. Sure some we meet in life will not like the real you, and of them you should never be frightened of, NEVER! Maybe the numbers who accept you may be smaller than the ones who recoil, and run from you, but the ones that don't run will be TRUE friends, and not the fake ones who smile in your face and stab you in the back.

You are to young to even worry about what the fakes think of you, and its not even their business what you did in the past. Lose the shame and guilt and forgive yourself, and never again be afraid of what others think of you.

I recall how you started this thread, after you brought up the closure thing, (I know about making amends for past wrongs!) you said this

Quote:

I have the confidence and truth be told I'm actually very comfortable in my skin.

So keep it real, and be as you say you are, as your anonymous here any way.

I agree with Tal. This is your thread, and whatever you feel comfortable sharing with us, feel free, we're here to listen.

Heck, I've opened every wound I've ever had on this site. It took a lot to do it, but when I did, a great weight was lifted, and the best thing of all, everyone on this site stood beside me, helped me through my past issues, and even my present ones. The people on this site are the best people I've never met.

So share with us, if that's what you want to do. No pressure at all. You can tell us as much, or as little as you feel you want to. Just make sure not to give out too much personal info, no real names, no places, because even though the people here are wonderful, this is the internet, and this site is open to the public.

I learned that the hard way. :(