Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   When should I stop the no contact period? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=587510)

  • Oct 27, 2011, 06:41 AM
    world_of_angels
    Hi again, I sent you months ago directly after my break-up, as I was in a bad mood and I was so confused about what I can do. It's about 6 months now from my break-up with my ex. Thanks god I'm much better than before and I'm about to go into a new relationship as I had a friend and a month ago he told me that he love me and want me... etc. Now I've 2 things I need to ask about one regarding the past and the other for the future.
    1st, my ex is still contacting me although he knew that I'm about to go into a new relationship, he still wants to be friends and talk to each other, meet from time to time, he's not convinced by my new relationship and keeps on giving me advices that the new one will not be committed to me and he just has fun with me, no more... etc.I'm not listening to his words, because I know he may be jealous that I'm about to commit to another one... etc. my question now I'm no more thinking about my ex as my old love although he still had a great place in my heart, but I like him to be in my life and talk from time to time as friends... Can it be? Or it can't be as we were couples before!
    2nd, regarding, my new relationship, he loves me badly, but I feel like I'll not love any one again, I just see that he is a good one and can make me happy, that's why I'm going ahead with him, he knows everything about my old relationship and even that I'm still in a contact with my ex (I'm so honest with him). After my old relationship, I see now to be in a relationship with one who loves me more is better than for me to love him more, because when I fall in love, I really love with every cell in me. I get hurted so much after my ex, and can't bear this to be happened again.
    My question regarding this, I'm in a friendship with the new one, a year ago, and from a month or more we started our relationship, and he wants to marry me after a year till he find a better job... but I want to have a formal step now I don't like to wait all that time without anything formal as an engagement or even tell my parent or something like that, I told him so, but he told me that he's not ready now for such a step.. etc. so I insisted to at least tell my parent to let him feel that I'm not having fun anymore, I trust him, but I'm afraid to be a fool again! What do you think about that, AM I RIGHT?
  • Oct 27, 2011, 06:42 AM
    world_of_angels
    Hi again, I sent you months ago directly after my break-up, as I was in a bad mood and I was so confused about what I can do. It's about 6 months now from my break-up with my ex. Thanks god I'm much better than before and I'm about to go into a new relationship as I had a friend and a month ago he told me that he love me and want me... etc. Now I've 2 things I need to ask about one regarding the past and the other for the future.
    1st, my ex is still contacting me although he knew that I'm about to go into a new relationship, he still wants to be friends and talk to each other, meet from time to time, he's not convinced by my new relationship and keeps on giving me advices that the new one will not be committed to me and he just has fun with me, no more... etc.I'm not listening to his words, because I know he may be jealous that I'm about to commit to another one... etc. my question now I'm no more thinking about my ex as my old love although he still had a great place in my heart, but I like him to be in my life and talk from time to time as friends... Can it be? Or it can't be as we were couples before!
    2nd, regarding, my new relationship, he loves me badly, but I feel like I'll not love any one again, I just see that he is a good one and can make me happy, that's why I'm going ahead with him, he knows everything about my old relationship and even that I'm still in a contact with my ex (I'm so honest with him). After my old relationship, I see now to be in a relationship with one who loves me more is better than for me to love him more, because when I fall in love, I really love with every cell in me. I get hurted so much after my ex, and can't bear this to be happened again.
    My question regarding this, I'm in a friendship with the new one, a year ago, and from a month or more we started our relationship, and he wants to marry me after a year till he find a better job... but I want to have a formal step now I don't like to wait all that time without anything formal as an engagement or even tell my parent or something like that, I told him so, but he told me that he's not ready now for such a step.. etc. so I insisted to at least tell my parent to let him feel that I'm not having fun anymore, I trust him, but I'm afraid to be a fool again! What do you think about that, AM I RIGHT?
  • Oct 27, 2011, 12:14 PM
    talaniman
    You are not ready for a relationship. You have not given yourself a proper healing time because you still allow him in your life through words. You don't even love the new guy, and are still afraid to be hurt.

    Take time to heal, so you can at least be happy, and healthy in your relationships.

    Especially the most important one. WITH YOURSELF!!
  • Oct 27, 2011, 06:45 PM
    mmresd
    NOW... he has move on, and you need to get over him... NOW. Stop using the "golden rule" and use no contact for what it is used for. Not for getting him back, but instead to forget him, to start healing. Get over it, the break up happened more than a month ago and now you have wasted all this time playing your little game while who knows... maybe you would have gotten over this already. Wake up, this is done, you need to start living your life again.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:27 PM.