Ask Me Help Desk - Boyfriend trouble- Should I let him go?

Ysbeertjie, take a look at the entire thread. You can see the past you, the efforts you have made, who tried to contact who and who left who in the dark. Is there a 4th time? I don't know, this could go on for 5th, 6th time too, but small chance that it won't end like the same old story. A relationship needs trust, commitment and understanding. Your trust is already shattered, there wasn't any commitment.
If your best friend was in your situation, what would you tell her? I bet you would tell her to 'move on,' and mean it. Like everyone here who put care in their answers, give yourself a chance. "I will not think about the past" should be your FB status now.

Ok, we have been out for almost 5 months, I still have feelings for him and the way he goes on, I think his over me.

He ignores me if we happen to find each other at a party or any place but still has contact with my sisters.

He made out with some chick at the last party I saw him at and it hurt like hell!

I might see him this weekend at the parties planned, but I'm scared I get hurt again, I don't want to sit at home cause I am going on with my life but seeing him with other girls hurt me so much.

Please any advice about what to do this weekend

Ysbeertjie,

Welcome to this beautiful site, first!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ysbeertjie

Ok, we have been out for almost 5 months, I still have feelings for him and the way he goes on, I think his over me.

Nice, it is not uncommon, and it is human nautre.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ysbeertjie

He ignores me if we happen to find each other at a party or any place but still has contact with my sisters.

Try to attract his attention by changing your hairstyle. Do you have long hair? Try a fresh, fascinating and dashing haircut? Can you? This will definitely tempt him towards you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ysbeertjie

He made out with some chick at the last party I saw him at and it hurt like hell!

I can't get what do you mean by making out with some chick... does it mean, he is towards some other girlie? If yeah, wear some nice haircut, attractive and scanty outfit revealing your inner and interiors. Shave your arms and show it to him by wearing sleeveless... it tempts the boys.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ysbeertjie

I might see him this weekend at the parties planned, but I'm scared I get hurt again, I don't want to sit at home cause I am going on with my life but seeing him with other girls hurt me so much.

Please any advice about what to do this weekend

The same advice to wear garments which conceal less and reveal more. Have a flowing haircut, with hair hanging around your visage, in a tempting manner.

Darling, what you need to remember, is that he's an EX for a reason. How long have you been broken up? What steps have you been taking to get over HIM? Going out is a great thing to do to help, but it's unfortunate you keep bumping into him!

X Dani

His feelings towards you are not the same as yours towards him. He's doing what makes him happy, and that's precisely what you need to do... make yourself happy. Seeing him make out with another girl shows that he's not sensitive towards your feelings and knows it will bother you because he knows you're there and he knows you're looking at him. That doesn't show much respect for you. You can't respect someone unless they earn your respect. Can you still respect this guy? I think not.

He's not worth your time at all. Look at other people and soon you'll find someone worth your time, your effort and your respect.

This pain is temporary. You'll get over it, I promise. :)

Good luck.

Ignore him, or find another party, hangout whatever. You have heard this before and have to see by now that any contact, no matter how small or distant, just keeps hope alive, and you miserable.

My ex and I have been out 7 months now. We have bumped into each other like 4 times since our break up and each time he would just ignore me and at first I felt hurt but later I just let it go and ignored him too. 2 days ago I was at a party and the theme was pimps and whores and everyone was dressed up. We all started playing strip poker and in the middle of the game my ex showed up, first I felt really bad for firstly being dressed like a whore and then playing a game where I had to strip, then I felt like why should I feel bad, he decided to break up. So I just continued playing.

Anyway, he started drinking a lot, probably trying to get with everyone else's vibes, we still ignored each other. Later after the strip poker game I got a lot of attention from the other guys there (yes, I lost), but didn't really care (I'll explain later), and every time I'd sit with a friend, or start a new game with friends, my ex would come sit with us. But then just sit there, he never played with, he never said anything. When the party was over he greeted every one (except me) and left. I told my sister about the night and everything that happened, and she thinks he might have wanted to talk to me but couldn't.

I felt bad cause when we were together, I was his pride and now I was sitting there half naked. But I thought he left me so I don't need to feel guilty. When I got attention from the other guys, I didn't care cause I still have feelings for him but I also know there won't be a reunion between us, and cause I'm not interested in any one because of the feelings for him. I actually just wondered why he would act this way? I mean I'm used to him not even looking in my direction and walking away, even if we were in a group, he'd walk away as soon as I joined but suddenly he's sitting a person away from me. I don't know it was the alcohol, making him not care either.

I think you are confised after 7 months also.Ask yourself first what you want and then go for it.If you want him in your life then speak with him,If it's not possible because of his attitude or whatever reason.Then leave ehim and live your life.Now also you are thinking about him.This way you will not move on in your life because now also you feel hurt if he is ignoring you.If you don't care then why you are hurt.Stop making foll to yourself and your heart.From my point of view,you take your time to decide and whatever you decides,just stick to that.Life is full of love and I am sure you will get soon.All the best :-)

Why are you tripping over the behavior of an ex? You are making this such a big deal that your curiosity is confusing you.

I mean is it you are wanting his attention still? I think its because the contact has you still with old feelings, and you have not healed sufficiently to let go enough. That's what your reactions tell me, you need more time with more NO CONTACT.

We have been out for 7months, he left me, in these 7months we have seen each other 4 times like at a party, we completely ignore each other

On my b-day I was surprised to even get a sms from him.

I was at a house party and we were playing strip poker and like in the middle of the game, my ex showed up, neither of us knew the other would be there, I carryed on plaing and he started drinking, a lot!

2 weeks after that night, some friends still tell me he couldn't handle that night, seeing me half naked and guys all around me, that's why he started drinking a lot and he was mad.

Should I feel guilty? I mean we've been out so long, thought he'd have moved on or something cause he wanted to break up, I feel bad knowing that I made him mad. I still have some feelings for him, but I also know there won't be any retries for us, the break up wasn't pretty, it took me a while to just realize that he wasn't coming back.

Could he still feel for me?

You might have some feelings for each other for years to come, but a relationship is out. By now you should be seeing that your feelings, or his for that matter, won't make this any better. Nor will your constant obsession with his feelings. Let it go, tell your friends you no longer want to hear about him, and stop wondering about him, and his feelings every time old feelings get all stirred up!