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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I agree, but unless you live in a cave in Tora Bora, your child is going to hear the word "god" and will ask you about it. Then what?

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Answer what I answer: "Some people are into religion, mom and I aren't, you can make up your own mind when you get older." She's been to church a couple of times as guests of one of her friends. It's mostly a play area for the kids with not so subtle indoctrination bits thrown in. She decided that there must be other things to do on Sunday since that's the only thing this friend (or her mom most likely) would ever want to do on Sunday. Now she goes geocaching with me and has synchro swimming on Sunday.

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Originally Posted by NeedKarma

since that's the only thing this friend (or her mom most likely) would ever want to do on Sunday.

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Is that what you think of Christians?

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Originally Posted by NeedKarma

She decided that there must be other things to do on Sunday since that's the only thing this friend (or her mom most likely) would ever want to do on Sunday. Now she goes geocaching with me and has synchro swimming on Sunday.

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Too generalized for me - I don't know ANY Christian who spends Sunday only "doing" church. In fact, Catholics can now attend an anticipated mass on Saturday.

If it's not too personal is your family history the reason you are an atheist? Experience with a Christian Church?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Is that what you think of Christians?

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Oops, I think I didn't explain that right. It's all that particular friend of hers wanted to do on a Sunday.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

If it's not too personal is your family history the reason you are an atheist? Experience with a Christian Church?

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It is personal and I don't give out my life on the internet. There's no one event. Both my wife and I figured out that we don't need religion in our lives, simple as that.

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Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Oops, I think I didn't explain that right. It's all that particular friend of hers wanted to do on a Sunday.

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Please don't judge all Christians on the basis of one woman who spent her Sundays (all day?) at church. My dad was a minister, was the last to leave the church because he locked up, and even our family managed to get home by 12:30 p.m. to eat dinner.

Too often atheism isn't a deliberate, intellectual choice, but is adopted simply because of unhappiness over parents who had a "Christian" agenda.

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Originally Posted by Athos

I don't want to hijack this thread but Fr Chuck's statement is so wrong, I feel I must.

This is decidedly NOT the position of the Catholic Church. The Church teaches that the fundamental necessary moral position of a person - regardless of their faith - is to act according to their (informed) conscience.

Since only Christians can be "saved" - understanding the jargon in its usual sense - Chuck's statement condemns all non-Christians to hell. Chuck has a right to believe what he will, but not a right to misrepresent the Catholic Church.

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Saying its so doesn't make it so. But we are all free to do whatever our beliefs lead us to do. The only stick is when we cannot reconcile our differences when we have to interact with those who believe different. Wars are fought over such conflicts of belief.

Hey, if it wasn't about God, couples would fight over how to fry the chicken, or bake it. When two humans get together, no telling what they will disagree on, doesn't matter anyway, because all that matters is how they resolve the differences to the benefit of both.

Then you have a happy couple, until the next big issue arrives. Half of them say forget it, and get divorced when they have had enough of the knucklehead they married.

As you can see this is my humble way of getting back to the OP's relationship question, and not turn it into a members discussion.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Please don't judge all Christians on the basis of one woman who spent her Sundays (all day?) at church.

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That's not at all what I am saying. They absolutely did not spend all their days at church obviously. It's juts that they didn't seem to have any other 'playdate' option for Sundays. There's no doubt they were trying to influence my daughter. My decision to be how I am has nothing to do with one person's agenda, it's just the way I am. I'm not that reactionary. :)

Was there one specific event that made you a christian?

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Originally Posted by 411Help

Thank you all for your responses. I do not want to tell my kids that there is or is not a god; i want them to make that decision on their own. I am just afraid my (future) wife would continually try to sway them in one direction. I do agree with doula. I think it would be best if we told our kids. "this is what mommy believes, and this is what daddy believes, you're free to make your own decision."

Like every other conflict in a relationship, i guess communication is key.

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You are exactly right... communication is key. When expectations are not shared and discussed, problems frequently arise.

Your children may have some foundation in your wife's faith, but as they grow up, they will certainly decide what makes sense to them and what they feel is the right path to take.

Children often handle differences far easier than adults as we tend to be more set in our ways. They tend to be more matter of fact about such things. If their parents are fine with things, it will be the norm for them.

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Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Was there one specific event that made you a christian?

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It was an informed intellectual decision, and I've been married for 43 years to an atheist. We have found that communication and compromise have solved all of our "religion" problems.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Sorry but if a person is a real believer, ( not just claims to be a Christian) For a Catholic, they will believe anyone not "saved" will go to hell, and to be honest for a parent to accept their child is loss to all eternity would not be acceptable at all.

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Some do feel this way, while others feel this is covered through 1 Corinthians 7:13-14. Basically stating an unbelieving spouse is covered through the believing spouse as they are seen as one in God's eyes. This also then covers any children as well.

For the OP, this may help your future wife rectify any concern she may have with this issue as well.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It was an informed intellectual decision, and I've been married for 43 years to an atheist. We have found that communication and compromise have solved all of our "religion" problems.

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Cool, same here. :)

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Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Some do feel this same, while others feel this is covered through 1 Corinthians 7:13-14. Basically stating an unbelieving spouse is covered through the believing spouse as they are seen as one in God's eyes. This also then covers any children as well.

For the OP, this may help your future wife rectify any concern she may have with this issue as well.

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But in this case we are viewing it though Catholic doctrine and teaching. And they have the belief of original Sin>

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

But in this case we are viewing it though Catholic doctrine and teaching. And they have the belief of original Sin>

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Few humans follow the doctrines of the main church as closely as they would like. Especially when there own human flaws get in the way, like falling in love with a guy/gal from another church.

Like a republican and a democrat getting married, they vote differently, but have the same goal in the bedroom, thus producing kids that are purple.

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Originally Posted by 411Help

I am an atheist and she is catholic. How would you go about resolving issues, such as, where to get married, whether or not you send your kids to church, etc etc.

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I hope you have an indication of what you face with this girl, but if you cannot talk at least and reach a compromise then you won't last any way, but if you both have open minds to each others feelings, there is hope.

Unfortunately, some are more open minded than others, and I hope your girl is part of the former, not the latter. I hope you are too!

Talk about it, when it's the right time.