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-   -   Needing space?! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=571111)

  • Apr 19, 2011, 06:09 AM
    amicon

    (Thank you-hugs back)

    He was never Prince Charming
    ,but the real deal's out there somewhere,when you're ready for a true relationship.

    Just give yourself time to heal;oh, and maybe get off the bed and go for a walk?

    Nature's a great healer.
  • Apr 19, 2011, 07:28 AM
    Klrdvb
    Once again thanks so much. I hurt. I feel betrayed beyond belief. He broke my heart, NOT my soul.

    I agree he is an emotional incompetent and a selfish jerk.

    His divorce becomes finalized 5/1 and the more I think about it the more emotionally betrayed I feel. I feel I helped him through a lonely time and now he is comfortable "in his own skin" now there is no place for me.

    I feel one used, and two, out of the blue he did this now, I wonder what or (who) pushed him to do this. If he loved me as he said he did he'd work it out, unless something (one) is telling him to loose the baggage (me) and get your space and be you. It also makes sense why he didn't want to speak to me or hear me "verbally persuade him do or say something he doesn't want too". Unless something(one) is drawing him, it wouldn't matter, and we would have worked it out. Last time I checked it's called COMPROMISE. My bad, silly Karen.

    Anger is easier to deal with then hurting and crying.

    I'm strong. Ill b OK. U and this web site support group are wonderful!
  • Apr 19, 2011, 07:52 AM
    talaniman

    The last 4 days have been rather hectic, I know, but sometimes even the bad that happens is a good thing.

    Obviously neither of you is patient enough to deal with relationship glitches just yet. And that's Okay. Just don't get carried away and over read, just move beyond this and understand, both you kids needed each other at one time or another, and now not so much so.
  • Apr 19, 2011, 07:57 AM
    amicon

    You'll get through this,stay strong,stay healthy-hearts break,but we mend them.

    Take good care of yourself.
    < >
  • Apr 19, 2011, 08:13 AM
    Klrdvb
    @ talaniman,
    I was will to work it out. I told him he can have his me time and me too. He refused. I tried with all my power to work this out. He was the one who slammed the door and locked me out.

    He couldn't even talk to me about this, ge did it via text. THAT HURTS.
  • Apr 19, 2011, 08:45 AM
    amicon

    Realise that you did what you could;were as decent as you could possibly be-and realise that he wasn't-but that's his problem,not yours.

    Accept no responsibility for his actions and don't blame yourself.
  • Apr 19, 2011, 05:42 PM
    Klrdvb
    @amicon, I wanted to give u a follow-up. Well I texted him that I was going to his apt for my things and to drop off his and his keys. Said it was fine.

    Called me at 3 pm, wanted to know when did I want to come over, told him I did already and got what I needed. He sounded hurt. Said thought ud meet me there. I guess THAT was his last card, and the fact that I did it before he asked knocked him for a loop. Oh well.

    He called me again at 4. We talked it out. He said that he wanted to focus on him and for him to get happy and find himself and be there for his girls 150%. He said he felt as though he is spead so thin that he is feeling overwhelmed.

    He then called me again. I asked him directly and wanted an honest answer, was there anyone else and said I need to know because if I find out in a week you will hurt me so bad that I will never ever talk to u again, and if u valued us, me and our relationship be honest. He said he wants No one.

    He called me once more and said that he still loves me and that who knows what will bring in the future, if we r meant to b we will. He then goes, please call me whenever u want to talk. Ur my best friend. He then said that we will talker sooner then later, and I said who knows.

    All I can say he doesn't know his butt from a hole in the ground. I
  • Apr 19, 2011, 05:49 PM
    Klrdvb
    I won't even try to understand him any more. Not going to try. Who knows what our future will hold. I know the door isn't slammed or dead bolted shut. It's open and I think when or if he is back in my life, it's because I WANT him there and who knows maybe I Won't. Time I think in his case isn't his friend. More time I'm away, the more I don't want him back in my life.

    And I did agree, if we are meant to b, we will be and nothing will stop it from happening. I believe that on my heart.

    Thank you again for your listening to me vent. I appreciate your kindness and your advice, it was very comforting and insiteful. ((HUGS))

    I will keep you all posted.
    ~K
  • Apr 19, 2011, 05:50 PM
    vanheart
    Sounds to me that all he wants is booty.

    Not a relationship.

    His actions speak volumes. His talk is BS.

    Hes not for you. You don't want the same things.

    Or a man like that.

    Don't be one of those women. Makes jerks like him exist.
  • Apr 19, 2011, 10:56 PM
    amicon

    Apart from the fact that he doesn't know his b**t from his elbow,I think he's feeding you standard BS.

    You know what your best move is,don't you?

    Never speak to him again and leave this behind you.

    You're his best friend?

    Ha,his friendship qualities aren't going to win him any awards now,are they??

    No contact and heal,please.
  • Apr 20, 2011, 12:03 AM
    Klrdvb
    At least I don't harbor any anger now. It's over and done. I want him happy. I know the longer I am alone, the more I want to be alone.

    He has no effin idea what he wants. He can choke on his "me for me time". I can't handle it anymore.

    Now he texted me @1030 with some random BS story. I told him that texting me at this time is invading MY SPACE.

    What the?? I quit he won. Not even remote sense is he making. Seriously. It's done and I'm done and it's over.
  • Apr 20, 2011, 12:14 AM
    amicon

    It is over.

    You know what I'd do-I'd block his number-you don't need his texts.

    If your network supplier can't block numbers,delete his texts without reading them.

    Have you read the No Contact stickies at the top of the relationship page?
  • Apr 20, 2011, 04:46 AM
    Klrdvb
    Ggrrr. I give him the space and NOW wants contact??

    I'm so done, stick a fork in me I am THAT done.

    I blocked him on FB? His number and his texts. He can choke on his space.
  • Apr 20, 2011, 06:45 AM
    amicon

    And you can enjoy your own space-free from his emotional clutter!!
  • Apr 20, 2011, 08:31 AM
    Klrdvb
    Omg, I thought I blocked him my FB, but I guess I didn't. My status was "I feel sick, migraine and now allergies...argh, shoot me" well 2 of my guy friends left comments and LOW and BEHOLD so did he and wished the I feel better...

    Well needless to say he is blocked NOW. Wow, what the!! He is more confused then even I gave him credit for..
  • Apr 20, 2011, 09:14 AM
    amicon

    Please just ignore him-don't waste time trying to understand his little games.
  • Apr 20, 2011, 09:16 AM
    Klrdvb
    I think u nailed it. Games to keep open contact and that preverbal foot in the door.

    It did make me chuckle. It was pathetic regardless.
  • Apr 20, 2011, 09:22 AM
    amicon

    So you make sure the door remains firmly shut.

    I trust you not to open it again!
  • Apr 20, 2011, 09:33 AM
    Klrdvb
    I slammed it shut now AND dead bolted it!!

    I can say now I'm not crazy. He has no effin idea what he wants. I'm glad it's done. THAT I am not confused on.
  • Apr 20, 2011, 09:46 AM
    amicon

    I think you've come a long way in just a few days-give yourself a pat on the back!

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