I'm afraid you have yet to experience love, that was lust. Many people confuse the two.

JanMarie is right, you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy which will stop you from being able to recognize either the love in you or that for you. That will doom you to an unnecessarily sad lonely existence.

Why don't you take some time to really study love, infatuation, limerance, lust? There are tons of great resources & I'd be glad to recommend a good starting list. Even just going to the Psychology Today site will give you some interesting articles to read.

There is no need to feel so negative. You had a very special moment. You got one of your firsts out of it, and she made you feel something that people long to feel all the time. Appreciate the experience for what it is. It was good and you will never forget it, but it was your first. Without your first you can't have the second or third or the one that will last a lifetime. I think it's sweet, don't ruin it for yourself.

I don't really know what to say or what to think about it . I just wanted to tell you just on thing . Love exist as well as its painful sting .