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-   -   Will I ever move on from my ex of 7 years? Help :( (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=559237)

  • May 18, 2010, 10:01 PM
    Lucky098

    You need to leave. The relationship has lost its flair. You lost your trust with him. You can't tell me that you never ever think about the time he cheated on you. I'm sure it pops up in your mind every time you see him.

    You said it yourself. Your relationship is dead. He annoys you. He controls you. You never have time for each other. Why on earth are you choosing to stay with him then?

    One thing I have learned is that when people are busy, they MAKE time for someone else. If he's not making time for you, then he is choosing not to. The same goes for you. No body gets busy and forgets about someone they love. They re-schedule things. They make time for each other.

    You sound miserable. Unhappy and a bit depressed. I can completely understand the want of a security blanket (him), but its time to let go. The relationship is gone. He's gone... and what once was is gone also.

    Its time to open another door and walk through it. 6 years is a long time. And its not going to be easy in the least bit.. but for your own mental health, you need to get out now.
  • May 19, 2010, 11:48 AM
    chuff

    A year ago the relationship was 3 years old now after another year it is 6 years old.
  • May 20, 2010, 09:13 AM
    pitakizis

    Sorry we have been together for almost 6 years on and off. . And thank you for all the advices. Really appreciate it. I think its time for us to have a long talk and see how it goes then. . Thank you so much
  • Mar 2, 2011, 08:38 PM
    pitakizis
    Will I ever move on from my ex of 7 years? Help :(
    I was with my ex boyfriend for 7 years. We fell in love when both of us were 14. Its been 8 months now since we broke up. We drifted apart so bad, I was in another Uni so the distance its too wide to be fixed. Since we have been together for so long, the sparks….its gone. But being apart hurts so bad. We gave each other hope that we will be together in the future. “youre the only one I love forever” that sort of thing. So it made it harder. We have the same circle of friends, so we always see each other. The longest duration I haven't seen him was for a month. I cried almost everyday for the first 6 months. I got to know that he's seeing someone new, but yeah he was in the transition of moving on. I don't like going on dates with other guys until I met this one guy I used to have a huge crush on. We have been seeing each other for 2 months then my ex found out about it, he couldn't accept the fact that I like this dude and I'm dating someone new. I have been waiting for him to come back to me to commit and try it again. He did come back but he said he doesn't want to hurt me anymore. It crushed him then he found out that I'm coming home for good since I'm doing my internship so we will be so near to each other. He wants to be with me, but I know it will be the same **** we've been through and I really like the new guy. So I didn't reply to any of his messages. Until………I found out that he was admitted in the hospital! He broke his ankle. I was devastated when I found out because none of us never been admitted in the hospital before. So I rushed to the hospital and wanted to see him so bad and there he was and with the same girl he's been seeing for the past 4 months. (now his girlfriend) I was worried sick even though it hurts to see him I went to the hospital for him. For him. I met his parents and I felt so sad because it could have been me with him right now by his side. It broke me, it turned my life up side down. I hit bottom rock and back to square one. We talked to each other for a bit and he told me he wanted to be with me, but I didn't reply so he decided to move forward because he thought I was in love with the new guy and he doesn't want to waste the potential he has with the girl so he chose to be with her since I ignored him. I cried like a baby, I couldn't take it. I know he loves me so much and I will always be his number one. He told me it could have been me too in the hospital with him but yeah everything happens for a reason. Ive been crying for the past 4 days because seeing him with someone new it hurts so badddddddddddddd. Im back to square one, now I don't feel anything towards the new guy, Im so lost. I don't think I will ever move on….Hes the love of my life, my true love. I cannot be with other guys because I just cant. I choose not to open up because I'm scared I will hurt myself and the new person. I just need some advise. I don't think I'm going to go for the new guy I don't want it to be a rebound relationship. I don't need a guy to make me happy because I have my friends and family. Its heartbreaking to see someone you love, love someone else. Please help what can I do to really move on and start living in the present. Its killing me inside. I now know too much Im going to suffer till the end of time :(((((((((((((((
  • Mar 2, 2011, 08:55 PM
    summer_girl
    You're telling yourself that you only have three choices: the new guy, the ex, or living the rest of your life in emotional pain.

    What you're telling yourself just isn't true. You have every choice. You say you "can't" love anyone else, when the truth is, for right now you have just decided that you "won't". That's a big difference.

    It's made all the more painful by having the same circle of friends and keeping tabs on one another. You need a clean break. Instead you have this back and forth thing with your ex, and it's like you're reeling yourself into an addiction.

    I hope you'll break off contact and let things settle down. When you've been together for 1/3 of your lives, in some ways it's prevented you both from growing and learning about yourselves as individuals. You've always been in this couple. Maybe this is a great time to find what else makes you happy and see what direction that leads you in, and STOP thinking about if he's got potential with somebody else or if he's "gotten away" or you've "lost" him. It's the perfect time to think about yourself. I'm pretty sure that what you don't want out of life, is feeling so miserable all the time.

    Take it one day at a time. There's an excellent self-help book called, "How to Survive the Loss of a Love". It might just give you a lot of insight into what should be next for you.

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