Ask Me Help Desk - I get so jealous and possessive

You get crazy very easily then haha
Sorry I've only just started using this website

Yes I said no thanks when she invited me haha

I guess it would
She just doesn't seem like the kind of person I'm commonly friends with
She's very conservative in contrast to me, the kind of person who's all about keeping up appearances

Quote:

Originally Posted by lalaagirl

i have no interest whatsoever to be her friend, i have so many lovely people in my life
maybe if i get desperate i'll be her friend haha

You totally missing the point. If you have no interest in being her friend then I suggest just move on and be single. Find a new boyfriend who has no friends so no one can offend you. Your not even budging on your thinking in this so its pointless. If you have so many lovely people in your life you wouldn't be so negative.

Why should I move on and ruin my relationship just because I don't want to be her friend :s I do have lovely friends :)

When your father constantly rejects you from a young age no matter how many lovely people you have in your life you ARE going to be a negative towards certain issues!

I'm just going to accept that they're friends and ignore any insecurities I have
I don't see the need to be her friend :)

So you think your father rejecting you makes it okay to reject others because you are insecure, and jealous??

I understand the bad feelings, and the effects bad events in our lives affect our thinking, but letting them affect our lives in adverse ways can be worse than the events that lead to the thinking in the first place.

Open your mind, before it reflects badly on the relationship, as your father's rejections have affected you badly. Up to you, but no doubt your boyfriend may not understand your fear, or the unwillingness to deal with it in a healthy manner, or let it go.

No of course it doesn't! I never even said it did haha
But these insecurities aren't going to disappear either
When someone who is meant to love you UNCONDITIONALLY rejects you why would you trust someone who only loves you

Of course it clearly hasn't happened to you
& you are very lucky for that
So I accept that you can't understand it :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by lalaagirl

of course it clearly hasn't happened to you
& you are very lucky for that
so i accept that you can't understand it :)

On behalf of every member of this site I will speak. You have no idea who I am or who tal is or the next person who posts. You do not know our stories or what makes us who we are today. You can not sit there and say rejection hasn't happened to any of us. Rejection is a way of life. I am sorry it came from your father but do not judge and assume others here or you will be in for a big surprise.

Comment on 88sunflower's post

Haha it's the internet what are you going do thumbs down me
I'm sorry but I've tried to be nice but you both are so rude and ignorant of my feelings
Clearly it's a sensitive topic
So answer with sensitivity :)

You might want to read the rules better before posting.

Comment on 88sunflower's post

I'd love for them to delete my account :)

Comments on this post
lalaagirl does not find this helpful : rude

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

I don't see anyone being rude to you. You cam here and asked for help. And people have volunteered their time and knowledge to give you help. The only rudeness I see is coming from you part of which is your refusal to use this site according the rules.

Comment on 88sunflower's post
I'd love for them to delete my account :)

Ain't going to happen.

Quote:

haha it's the Internet what are you going do thumbs down me
I'm sorry but I've tried to be nice but you both are so rude and ignorant of my feelings
Clearly it's a sensitive topic
So answer with sensitivity :)

Thank you for the insights into your personality, and the way you deal with things that you cannot control. Sometimes when we are very sensitive we get distracted by our own feelings an stop getting, or seeking more facts to give us a chance to make good, or better decisions for ourselves.

You insecurity and fear of rejection is a response to a real event, and that's how you deal with the things that have hurt you. That same fear is at work here with this other girl, because you can't see her as a friend to have fun with, because you see her as a threat to make your boyfriend reject you. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy eventually, because your boyfriend wants to share the fun he has with you, and that's a sign of caring.

I hope you deal with your sensitivities in a healthy way, and you may be pleasantly surprised to see that your fear was unfounded and you can share good times with good people, and not let or fear stop you from ENJOYING a new, and DIFFERENT experience.

You may even learn the difference between a stranger being rude, and one being honest. Just so you know what the difference is, an honest stranger is only trying to help answer your questions, and there is no need to be overly sensitive, just think about what they say and why they have said it.

And as you can plainly see I deal with rejection much differently than you, and it no longer invokes fear in me, as it does you. Wonder why that is, since I have seen it in many ways, from many people, many times, and even from YOU!