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-   -   Dilemma (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=503887)

  • Mar 15, 2010, 02:06 AM
    vanheart

    She isn't your best friend. She's a cheater.
    Aside from what she texts. She proved that one already.

    She's playing you, buddy.

    She wants you when she wants.

    Don't put up with that. Who would? You?
  • Mar 15, 2010, 03:11 AM
    snakebiteadl

    Even after three yrs of it just being me and her?

    I'm really struggling today - trying to concentrate on work it's proving very difficult
  • Mar 15, 2010, 03:38 AM
    amicon

    Try not to keep banging your head on that brickwall-but see the writing on it-you need to let this go and take whatever steps necessary to sort out the flat so you can go complete NC and start to heal.

    Of course it hurts,and it will for some time,but accepting that its over is the first step on the road to recovery.
  • Mar 15, 2010, 04:18 AM
    snakebiteadl

    Thank you - we have a lot to sort out still re the flat - I still love her deeply and I wanted to be the one to make her happy. Having a real low today. I feel physically weak. Can't stop thinking about her. It's driving me crazy
  • Mar 15, 2010, 04:29 AM
    amicon

    Some days are like that,busy yourself with work-fake it till you make it-go for a walk during your lunchbreak,sometimes it is one hour at the time,but trust me when I say it will get better.
  • Mar 15, 2010, 07:05 AM
    talaniman

    Being alone takes getting use to. But don't be dramatic and use this time to do anything but plan your next move. Time to find and do your own thing, without her.

    Its not going to be easy, but just love yourself as much as you say you loved her, and do good things for yourself.
  • Mar 16, 2010, 08:31 AM
    snakebiteadl

    I'm getting a lot better - thanks for your messages guys... I am contemplating however one last thing - I got on really well with her mum,nan and aunt, I am thinking to see if there is a slightest chance of us working this out - as that's what her mum said. Do you think this is wise if I assure them not to say anything?

    Im struggling again, ahd a great morning and now I'm pining again.

    She was my lobster... I tried to push her away so I could propose to her on her 21st and it would take her by surprise, it appears to have worked far too well...


    Like Chandler and monica in friends it is something that we always discussed
  • Mar 16, 2010, 08:51 AM
    talaniman

    Your grasping at straws now, and it's a very bad idea to involve her family in this, no matter how well they may like you. Leave them alone too!

    Quote:

    Being alone takes getting use to. But don't be dramatic and use this time to do anything but plan your next move. Time to find, and do your own thing, without her.
  • Mar 16, 2010, 08:57 AM
    snakebiteadl

    Oik... I agree moment of weakness! I'm an old romantic, I don't think me inviting her to my comedy performance in June is a good idea either do you?
    I think I'm clinging on to this at present - its giving me motivation to go to workshops and progress with my stand up to show her how talented I am
  • Mar 16, 2010, 09:34 AM
    talaniman

    Forget trying to impress her she is the past.

    Repeat after me,

    No Contact with her any more!
    No Contact with her any more!
    No Contact with her any more!
    No Contact with her any more!
    No Contact with her any more!
    No Contact with her any more!
    No Contact with her any more!
    No Contact with her any more!
    No Contact with her any more!
    No Contact with her any more!
    No Contact with her any more!
    No Contact with her any more!
    No Contact with her any more!
    No Contact with her any more!

    Got it yet?
  • Mar 16, 2010, 09:46 AM
    Imabadman
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by snakebiteadl View Post
    Oik...i agree moment of weakness! im an old romantic, i dont think me inviting her to my comedy performance in June is a good idea either do you?
    I think im clinging on to this at present - its giving me motivation to go to workshops and progress with my stand up to show her how talented i am


    You just don't get it...
  • Mar 16, 2010, 09:50 AM
    amicon
    I think you know that any contact and that includes contact with the nan,mum etc would be a bad move.

    Invites to your show would also be a bad move so-no,don't.

    Let the false hope go and stop clutching at straws-they always break.
  • Mar 16, 2010, 10:23 AM
    snakebiteadl

    OK... still I'm 5 days NC! Doing pretty well... just need a verbal slap every now and again
  • Mar 16, 2010, 12:16 PM
    amicon

    Five days is good.
    Verbal slaps are always available!
  • Mar 17, 2010, 07:32 AM
    snakebiteadl

    She was in touch again last night re the flat - when she knew the answer to the question - why??

    I'm not overanalysing now - I'm in a good place... but I know she misses me and the special time we had
  • Mar 17, 2010, 08:31 AM
    amicon

    Its called playing mindgames in my book.
    Ignore her messages.
  • Mar 18, 2010, 02:30 AM
    snakebiteadl

    Last night I got very drunk on guinness and sent her mother a long email about the plans I had for her... woke up this morn and thought what the heck have I done - what will this achieve, I've seen the light but let myself down badly last night - I know we are over, she is a liar a cheater and I don't want people like that in my life... damn alcohol


    Yes... im going to block her on everything and change my number to today - I am a douche.
  • Mar 18, 2010, 05:54 AM
    amicon

    Well,not a great move.

    Best forgive yourself,and not do it again.. .
  • Mar 20, 2010, 07:44 AM
    snakebiteadl

    Broke nc - badly - left silly horrible voicemails - when drunk: I am sick of myself
  • Mar 20, 2010, 09:21 AM
    amicon

    Aren't you the clutz?
    Stay away from the booze-it makes you do silly things-not cool.

    Drowning your sorrows doesn't work, as you may have noticed.

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