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Originally Posted by talaniman

In other words eirfoxes inability to control his g/f has led to his enlisting the father to validate his actions and prove he is as screwed up as we all think he is.

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Well I tried to spread it.

Exactly, and again the father is probably at least 20 years older if not 30 or 40 years older, so the father isn't stupid to what this guy is trying to do. He'll see through it and dislike Eisforx even more. I just can't even image the gull it takes to try and force someone to like you by using her parents, especially the father. It's almost like parents who use there kids in divorce only in reverse.

The truth is though that if he doesn't see by now after all these posts and all these topics, all of us are the ones that should back off and let him fail miserably and learn the hard lesson. Sometimes the only way is first hand experience.

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The truth is though that if he doesn't see by now after all these posts and all these topics, all of us are the ones that should back off and let him fail miserably and learn the hard lesson. Sometimes the only way is first hand experience.

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A very good idea, chuff!!

Truth is my friend..

I urge you to take the advice you have got so far..

Or...


Pay for the consequences of your own actions. (afterall, we all must learn somehow!)


You have a choice still..

Don't you?

It sounds like there's some crossed wires and mixed messages here. You've basically painted yourself as an ideal young person who doesn't drink, smoke, party, etc. Then you paint a somewhat different picture of your girlfriend. You then go on to state that her father blames you for getting her into trouble. If your assessment of the situation is accurate then it sounds like she's the one getting you in trouble. In that case it's hard to understand why you want to continue seeing her and why talking to her father is even an issue. Furthermore, if your assessment of the situation is accurate then her father is obviously a very naïve person, in which case it really wouldn't do you much good to even talk to him. I'd rethink this whole relationship. Do you really want to date someone who's a sleaze and whose father is in denial? If he's in denial the way you suggest he is then you're going to continue to get blamed for every questionable thing she does. Do you really want that? Wanting to "rescue" someone is never healthy grounds for a relationship.

Hi, I haven't replied to any of the messages because well, I just felt like everyone here got a different looking picture of how everything looks in my life - situation. First, I am going to clear up the ex boyfriend thing.

A lot of you thought, that my girlfriend was just toying me around, always talking to her ex boyfriend not caring about my feelings, because I am a jealous guy and I don't like that. Well, yes that is true, I am a jealous guy and I don't like that. But then I again I am not one to tell her who to be friends with. If she wanted to she could break up with me and go out with him, or anyone else. Furthermore, everything changed when she told me she had a talk with her dad about "real love" and that her dad told her that real love is when someone does anything for that other person to be happy. Later she told me, that she thought about her ex situation and how she was content because she's still friends with him and talks to him. Then she told me that she is not going to see him anymore or anything because she rather keep me happy. Well this made me a little bit better and less jealous. But I still have no right to tell her who to talk or be friends with right? We will not know anything about that, until I see them kissing, cheating on me.

Okay, now I will talk about the Father situation.

I see, everyone thought that I was trying to talk to her dad, so he could side with me in controlling her, not letting her go out and drink and even about her ex boyfriend. Well, everyone got that very wrong, maybe I didn't write my post right. Sorry about that o_O.

The thing is, I wasn't able to see my girlfriend because a while ago, we both got in trouble for lying to her dad about going to some party. Then after that, everything went bad. He had told me not to talk to her. But I love my girlfriend, so we would have to talk behind his back, and I'd have to see her behind his back. It was really hard for both of us. But we were patient. It already have been a long time, and well her dad will always find out about us talking, or seeing each other. So things will just get worse. (by the way, it was during all these time that I started getting more and more jealous about her ex. It was during these time that he'd want to come see her too) Anyway, recently I was just getting tired of how everything went bad and I wasn't able to see her or talk to her. I was getting tired of talking to her behind his back, I knew things weren't working out like this. She was very patient with me too. She said she'd be with me no matter what. Well, I decided to do the ultimate. Which I thought was the best thing to do. To talk to her father. I've talked to her about it, and that I couldn't wait anymore so we could see each other again and not have to lie about anything anymore. She wanted me to do that too, but she would always say he is busy. I have to admit, I was realllly nervous and afraid everything would turn out bad. But my girlfriend always kept telling me that everything would be all right and things will be better if I talked to him. So that is why I then decided to do it, and posted this thread.

I called his dad, and I asked him if I could talk to him in person. He didn't seem so bothered and he said yeah sure, and he invited me to his house to talk to him! I was kind of shocked. So I went to his house last night around 8 pm. I talked to him, and apoligized about everything that had happened, I told him that I wanted to work things out and that I wish he knew me better because I am not a bad person. We talked and everything, and yes he gave us one more chance but we can't blow it. I kindda don't want to make this post longer.

But now I am happy that everything is back to normal. Sorry for confusing all of you. Some of your replies were getting to me, to break up with her and everything, but that is something I didn't want to do. I am in love with this woman and I just feel like I could do anything to make us both happy. So I did and everything went good. Now, if she cheats on me, or if I keep being jealous, or if anything like that happens. Well, that's just part of a relationship. Then I will learn, what everybody here seems to have learned. That is I guess, getting your heart broken. Everybody has to learn sometime right? But I think I rather live my life thinking that everything could be all right forever. Than always thinking that sometime everything will hurt and stop being so great. Even though, I can still have that thought of knowing that "nothing lasts forever" but I don't have to think about it all the time and make my life depressing. I like to enjoy what I have right now while it lasts.

That's all.

I feel you either mislead or misrepresented this whole thing, glad it worked out. (reread it to be sure)

This is a tough situation. You need to fully evaluate this situation before you dig yourself a deeper hole. I would not set up a meeting with the father. Obviously, he has his mind set on his perception of you. A father is not going to change his mind because you will tell him what a great influence on her. He is doing what a father normally does, protecting his child. Although your intentions are good, he does not see it. You must relax and "let things settle down as time pass"(Allheart).

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Originally Posted by eisforx

But now i am happy that everything is back to normal.

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Me too, eisforx! Enjoy the New Year! Grab that girl of yours and have some fun! Give her a great big smack on those lips! Cause the New Year is approaching and it has endless possibilities!:D