Ask Me Help Desk - Confused with my girlfriend giving me hard time for space and time situation..

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Trust yourself, and have enough faith in yourself to not allow the actions of another to confuse you, and have the dignity, and self respect not to be played used, or confused.

I will tell you, when someone asks for space you ask how much, what kind, and how long. Make them be clear. Now guy honestly 4 months is a bunch of BS, and I would have disappeared the very second she asked for space.

A week end is space, going withe the girls shopping is space, 4 months is a freakin' break up, and if kisses and lies is all you need to keep waiting to put it mildly, that is foolish. Heck you could have healed and moved on and been happy in 4 months. No Sir this is not love by any stretch of the imagination, and no way is she telling the truth about anything I don't believe.

If she was serious, what the freak does she need 4 months for???

You have a perfect right to ask her when will she be back, and deserve more than a "soon " for an answer. The thing I worry about from you, is you confront her, and express your displeasure at waiting so long, and she will stick her tongue in your ear, and your good to go for another month.

Not trying to be mean, but 4 months is very unreasonable in my opinion, especially after 4 freakin' months, you still don't know when, and if she will keep her word. Thats crazy.

I don't know man I'm also confused with my situation now, maybe your right, I already gone no contact, and deleted her number in my phonebook.

Then you just leave it at that.
Don't contact her. Move on with your life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake2008

You must have been suspicious and untrusting prior to the breakup. That kind of behaviour doesn't happen overnight. Was she untrustworthy, or was it jealousy or control that allowed your imagination to take over.

If she was untrustworthy, and you were suspicious, and judging from her behaviour now, I'd say the breakup was a good thing.

If however, she was always catering to your insecurities to convince you that she wasn't fooling around, that is a heavy burden to carry, and most would get worn out trying.

I see this as not so much the two of you getting back together again- to get married no less- but an opportunity for you to take a good hard look at how the relationship went, and what part you played in it ending.

If you are suspicious and jealous, that is something you need to change if you want any decent woman to be with you. I doubt that only you, or only her, caused all the problems, and whatever the problems were to bring you to the point of breaking up over a (maybe) other guy, most likely could have been resolved if you had communicated well with eachother.

Learn from this relationship and move on is my advice. Stop flogging a dead horse, the relationship sounds to me like it wasn't going anywhere long before you two split up.

But for the past 4 years and 2 months we're together she have been loyal to me? that's why its hard for me because I know she's loyal I just don't know right now if she is still loyal to her words that she is not seeing someone else? That all she need is a space and time to think.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Then you just leave it at that.
Don't contact her. Move on with your life.

OK I'll go with your advice but what if she comes back? do I still accept her or I turn her down...

I doubt that she will come back after 4 months, but if she does, I'd be leery. You don't leave someone hanging for 4 months with no explanation. I would not take her back.

Never let your feelings blind you to the truth, or cause you to be foolish, or blind. She hasn't come back in 4 months, so I would be suspicious of seeing her again, or believing anything she has to say, and would certainly not let her leave me in limbo, hoping, and wanting, and she not deliver. Does that make sense to you?

Words without the actions to match, are just words to not listen too. No Contact is all about healing so you can make better decisions for yourself, based on facts (actions) and not just feelings(words).

That's what you need, just like she says she needs time and space, so forget her and do your own thing without her and love every minute, and be open to better options, than the one she is giving you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Never let your feelings blind you to the truth, or cause you to be foolish, or blind. She hasn't come back in 4 months, so I would be suspicious of seeing her again, or believing anything she has to say, and would certainly not let her leave me in limbo, hoping, and wanting, and she not deliver. Does that make sense to you?

Words without the actions to match, are just words to not listen too. No Contact is all about healing so you can make better decisions for yourself, based on facts (actions) and not just feelings(words).

Thats what you need, just like she says she needs time and space, so forget her and do your own thing without her and love every minute, and be open to better options, than the one she is giving you.

Thanks I follow your advice and when she come back I will not accept her into my life again Thank you all for the advice, I was enlightened thanks again...

Life is too short do not torture yourself waiting let her know where you stand and tell her if you don't hear from her by next weekend you will have to move on with your life that you truly love her and if she truly loves you she will let you know. Being a person that loves someone and it is not given the love in return may mean it is not a love that will endure time. You have been patient and really wanted the two of you to work things out maybe her answer is hurtful but at least you are not in limbo that is the worse thing to deal with.

I think your relationship was probably going through one of those periods where things get boring.It seems like you may love her why not let her know that only and that you want her to be happy and that if she chooses to only be friends you will at least know where you stand. GOOD LUCK
SOMEONE WILL BE HAPPY TO HAVE A GREAT PERSON SUCH AS YOURSELF AND SHE MAY BE WAITING RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER OR YOU MAY SEE HOW MUCH SHE REALLY CARES AND MAYBE SHE WILL THINK TWICE ABOUT THE RECONCILIATION