Don't be distracted by your need to get her back. Right now she doesn't even know that. I think she has enough to think about and work through, and doesn't need what you want to distract her.

Besides, circumstances are not such that you can even be there by her side. Let the dust settle, give her time, and space, and see what happens before barging in on her problems. She needs a friend, not an ex with an agenda. If you can't be that, please, leave her alone.

I admit that right after this happened it put me in an emotional mess. I was lost and confused, and I would cry just upon thinking about her. Now the dust has begun to settle I am beginning to understand the situation and oddly I feel very calm. I also talked with my mom about it.

To me it seems like she got under a lot of emotional stress. I'm leaving for college soon which is far away from her. She is going to a new school this year which she doesn't like. It just seems like her emotions got a hold of her and shut her down.

I have one more question, after the dust settles down even more in about a week I was wondering if it would be a good idea to reach out to her? Send her a message telling her that things were probably tough with me leaving and her starting at a different school. But you mean so much to me and I want to be with you through the good and the bad?

Don't push the cart before the horse my friend. Let the dust settle before making that kind of decision, because a boyfriend may not be the answer to her problems, nor would reaching out at this time be what she wants from you.

For now leave her alone, and let her contact you. Until you have gotten over your own emotions through healing, you cannot be a good partner to her and only distract her needlessly from what she has to do for herself.

Its no longer about YOU or getting her back, its about her. She needs time and space, so give it to her.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

For now leave her alone, and let her contact you. Until you have gotten over your own emotions thru healing, you cannot be a good partner to her and only distract her needlessly from what she has to do for herself.

Its no longer about YOU or getting her back, its about her. She needs time and space, so give it to her.

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What if she right now is realizing she acted on her emotions and is banging her head on the wall thinking she made a huge mistake? She could feel bad about doing this and feel like she isn't good enough.

What if she is really hoping that I will come through to her?

I know there is no way to know what she is thinking but I feel like it is necessary to look at the opposite side of the situation as well.

You said let the dust settle. In a week or two weeks I will already be at school, and she will have done her change also. Is that not settled yet?

No Contact. She hasn't had time enough and neither have you.

Go back to school and let her do what she needs to do. NC

If she changes her mind, then don't you think she will let you know? Why are you so intent on forcing the issue. Don't answer, I already know,
You are AFRAID:
She will forget you
Never talk to you
Get someone else
You have lost her
Never find some one like her
You will be alone forever
ETC.
What if it takes more than a few weeks for the dust to settle? What if it takes several months? Something's you cannot rush, nor should you.

Look I know its tough, and its only advice from a stranger, but just give your actions a lot of thought based on facts, and not just YOUR feelings.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

If she changes her mind, then don't you think she will let you know? Why are you so intent on forcing the issue. Don't answer, I already know,
You are AFRAID:
She will forget you
Never talk to you
Get someone else
You have lost her
Never find some one like her
You will be alone forever
ETC.
What if it takes more than a few weeks for the dust to settle? What if it takes several months? Somethings you cannot rush, nor should you.

Look I know its tough, and its only advice from a stranger, but just give your actions a lot of thought based on facts, and not just YOUR feelings.

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Okay... I agree with Tal. I looked at the date you first posted. May 22.
Have you taken any of the advice? Are you willing to do what you are advised to do? We can give you advice till the cows come home , but if your mindset is that she's coming back your wrong. I'm sorry , but you need to let go and move on.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

If she changes her mind, then don't you think she will let you know?

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Unfortunately, no. She tends to put herself down a lot, and would sometimes tell me to go find somebody better and things like that when she felt this way.

I admit that I am afraid that I will never find somebody as good as her as well. These past 6 months have been the happiest and best period of my entire life.

I am going to follow the advice you guys gave me, and give her the space she wants, and only if she happens to contact me look back into this.

I just feel like its giving up on her. Like I might as well take the chance since she says she loves me still.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder or it makes the heart go wander.

Waiting is horrible, that's what you have to do.
Who's to say you won't find someone else?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by skippy55

I just feel like its giving up on her. Like I might as well take the chance since she says she loves me still.

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You haven't given up on her. Her feelings are overwhelming her and maybe her coping mechanism is to just cut everyone off so she doesn't have anything else to have to cope with.

That's her way of dealing. Not yours. Don't blame yourself and don't try and fix it. She is the way she is.

Take everyone's great advice and leave her be.

Move forward with your life, on your own. If she comes back then deal with that then.If you choose. Don't stress over what ifs. Deal in facts.