Hey so some stuff happened... I hope its OK if I vent a bit but..

Over the weekend she was calling my cell from another number. It was OK because I don't answer numbers I don't know. But she left a few voice mail messages, and again I didn't know it was her so I heard them.

First one she was like "i don't know why your ignoring me, i thought we had some good talks last week and maybe we could talk some more about us", I didn't call her back. The next day she calls and leaves one that says "she loves me and there's nothing i can do about that and that she wanted to make it work and that I'm going to love her forever and there's nothing i can do about that. Then she says that she is going to be happy in a relationship while I'm still thinking about her. Then she says shes not going to call anymore because then she might come off as clingy and pathetic as me."

And she's telling her friends and they are telling my friends that I'm the one "BEGGING" her to take me back. Which is complete BS. Also the only time I was "clingy" and "pathetic" was when I tried to take a break and she got mad when I wasn't calling her while she was off screwing her ex..

So I want to mouth her off but that ruins all the NC I worked for hard for this last week... So I don't know.

Continue to ignore her.
She will soon get the message.

Cling and pathetic?
SHE is.
Keep your NC-nothing beats a dignified silence.

Close your ears to the stupid gossip.

Don't mouth her off, don't even think about her... as much as you may want to and as much as you may think she deserves it.. I know exactly how you feel being that I just got out of a somewhat similar situation... be the better person and realize that in doing what your doing you ARE walking away from this the better of the 2 of you...


Let her keep running her mouth to friends and saying this and that about you, by not acknowledging it in the least bit your taking away the power of those words... keep your head up and continue no contact and working on your own life... eventually meeting someone else who's better for YOU and won't pull this stuff

What really gets me is she's right though. I will get over her and find better partners. But she's my first love. I won't forget her and maybe never stop loving her just because of that.

Just the way she says it was so egotistical. Gets me so mad. But I won't give her any reaction. All of you are right.

Thanks for your thoughts :].

Hey, don't have anything to do so I hope its OK to update my situation.

NC has been going great. Been keeping myself busy and when I get the rare urge to go check up on my ex or whatever I remember its because I have NC that I'm not feeling like crap. Reading the stickies here really helps.

Anyway she stopped bad mouthing me and lying about me last week. She's probably pretending like she's the victim in all of this like she always does, but it doesn't matter, I think she knows I'm going to keep ignoring her. And I was thinking the other day how lucky I am that she lives on the other side of the city or I'd have to see her all the time. That would suck..

But I did have a question. I know that its my head playing tricks on me and stuff. But when I'm alone, usually when I'm trying to sleep I think about her. And I make up these weird scenarios in my head about ways I'll end up getting back together with her. I try and stop it but it happens so often when I have nothing to do its really tough.

I know that's not something I should not be thinking about. But it like happens a lot. Is that normal? Will it stop? Also its her birthday on the 25th. I know probably obvious. But I do nothing right?

I hope its cool if I vent here and stuff. If I talk to friends they all gossip and it gets back to her so...

Good you're feeling better.

When you start thinking about'getting back together' scenarios,trying distracting yourself by thinking about other things and make sure you are really ready for sleep when you go to bed.


As for the birthday,ignore it.

Keep total NC.

This girl is toxic! She wrecked you! Don't ever talk to her again! She's the type of person that you see in the mall, you RUN the other direction.

Vent all you want on here.. Its what this site was made for! But, do not... under any circumstance... even if it involves DEATH... talk to this girl AGAIN!

If you need help with not talking to her... just think back and remember that she played you like a fool. She not only cheated on you, but she cheated on another guy WITH YOU. That alone screams PLAYER!

I am so sorry that your first relationship had to be that crappy :( But I guarantee you, that not all us girls are blood sucking ticks!

Good luck!

Thanks for the response's :]. Maybe ill try listening to music when I go to sleep. I think that might help. Just when I'm on my own my mind wanders so hopefully that will stop soon. Still miss her a lot..

And yeah lucky098 she's not the person I thought she was to say the least.

Perspective is a good thing though.

It sucks it turned out like this but I'd rather make the mistakes I made with her then with someone who I'm compatible with. I can look at the mistakes I made and make sure I don't make the same ones with the next girl:

- Don't rely on someone else for my happiness
- Set boundaries (I obviously had none with her or I wouldn't have put up with as much as I did)
- Live for myself not my girlfriend (Kinda like not losing sight of what I want in life, and look out for No. 1, More respect comes along with that.)
- Be selfish sometimes (I'd always put her needs in anything before mine, I have to remember I have a part in relationships and I matter just as much.)
- Confidence confidence confidence... When your confident all of life's pleasures are attracted to you. When you're not. They couldn't seem further away. Same with relationships.

I lost myself in her and she took full advantage. But you live and learn. All I needed was to get my perspective back and some confidence. I was an amazing person and a good partner before I met her. Now after this I'm an even better person and a better partner. Not only that but she's given me the push I needed to get out of the rut I was in.

Yeah it sucks and I miss her.. But after reading this forum I'm not alone. And that helps a ton. An I'll totally keep posting here with updates.

Thanks for reading :]

Some great insights!

Lie IS a learning experience,don't you think?

Keep being and keep improving the good person you are.

Come back anytime.

I completely understand your situation. Having someone lie to you and coming up with BS one after the other is never good.
When she dumped me, my world crushed, a few weeks later I found out the her real reason for dumping me and my world got shattered. Because I don't want to lose her completely, I agreed to staying friends with her, until I woke up to the fact that she lied and cheated on me, hence, no contact should be the way to go.

I lost my job, lost my appetite, and had little interest in waking up in the morning.But when I think of how she cheated and lied to me, I tried to hold my head up high and told her that I deserve someone better than her crap.

K so sort of an update. Been at new job for a few weeks now and I've been hanging out with old friends. So generally I have been really happy, not even thinking of my ex etc... Things are great. But today while I was at work a certain song came on. Me and my ex had different tastes in music for sure so I hadn't heard this since I was at her house when we were still together. But when it came on today I immediately thought about her and got this sinking feeling and I felt like I couldn't breathe... Loving memories and stuff... It was really weird cause I literally haven't even been thinking of her at all. Is that normal? What do I do when I feel like that? I know it's weird but any advice would be great. Thanks.

Yeah, that's normal. Little things will remind you of her. But just as you are feeling a bit better now, you will feel better again.
Keep it up. This will soon pass.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bloooooper7

Is that normal? What do I do when I feel like that? I know it's weird but any advice would be great. Thanks.

---

Yes, it's normal and no where near weird.

Don't focus on why it happened. Redirect your thoughts and focus on something else. More than likely you have already been doing that subconsciously and have ignored many of the small 'reminders'. This one just came out of the blue and you weren't expecting it so you weren't ready for it.

You are doing the right things. Keep it up and even the surprises will become few and far between.

It sucked.. Brought me right back to when she would make me cereal at her place in the morning after I'd stay over. I seriously thought I was going to break down.

So weird something like a song can do that... Hope I don't notice it again if it comes on.

Thanks for the support :).

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bloooooper7

It sucked.. Brought me right back to when she would make me cereal at her place in the morning after I'd stay over. I seriously thought I was going to break down.

So weird something like a song can do that... Hope I don't notice it again if it comes on.

Thanks for the support :).

---

That's what we are here for. :)

Good luck. :)

1. Your ex is a .
2. yes, I called her that. (yes, I am only 12... O.o)
3. You deserve better than her so get over it
4. I know your hurting but try to pull yourself together and soon your life.

I would not be to quick to take "matters of the heart" advice from a 12 year old.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Cat1864

Yes, it's normal and no where near weird.

Don't focus on why it happened. Redirect your thoughts and focus on something else. More than likely you have already been doing that subconsciously and have ignored many of the small 'reminders'. This one just came out of the blue and you weren't expecting it so you weren't ready for it.

You are doing the right things. Keep it up and even the surprises will become few and far between.

---

I was scared every time it came on I'd get that feeling. But you were totally right. It was only because it took me by complete surprise.. Today it came on and it wasn't a big deal because I knew it was in the song rotation and I kind of this associated it from all the blah...

Anyway thought I'd let you know you were right.