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Okay, we are not officially broken up, we are just taking a step back to collect ourselves and strengthen this relationship. I know what needs to be corrected, and we are both going to work at it together to fix this. I feel like a lot of these things that you guys say fail, is based on both parties not putting effort in to it. We are both going to put in as much effort as possible to get back to where we need to be, and I know we will get there.
Yes, you are correct.Quote:
Originally Posted by RSmyth58
And now you're wrong. You can't speak for her jack, you don't know what she's thinking. You don't know even what she's doing this very second.Quote:
Originally Posted by RSmyth58
Wake up; you're the only one putting effort in. You travel 8 hours to see her. She comes home because she gets to see her family, and her high school friends, and everything else she is familiar with. You're just a bonus.
I know you're not going to listen, but bookmark this thread and come back to it in about nine months.
You should not have to change for anybody. If you do, you will lose yourself and will go down because of it. I am out of this thread, but I truly hope eventually everything works out. Not necessarily in this relationship but in any future ones you might be involved in. In another 20 years if your actually married with kids and we were all wrong then come back and tell us.
She is not willing to put an effort in it. If you do not see that then your blind.
I appreciate all the input guys, I really do. But this is something I need to do for myself. If I get hurt even worse in the end, than that is my own fault. But this love is not something I'm ready to give up on. The connection when we are together is too good for me to just let this go completely. And she does put in effort, she has been putting just as much effort in to this as I have. It's just now I'm not sure if I have made her feel that she doesn't want to put effort in anymore. I will keep you updated, but as I said, this is not something I'm ready to give up on.
I'm not just a bonus, we spend pretty much all our time together when she is home, and a few of the times she comes home, are just to see me, so don't say she isn't putting any effort in.Quote:
Originally Posted by slapshot_oi
You know what Rsmyth58,Quote:
Originally Posted by RSmyth58
You need to do what is best in your heart and mind for you and you alone. Yes we can all give advice. We all have our own opinions about this because of what you have posted and said.
You not really willing to let go, and want to do you best to hold on to this love is your choice. Remember though it is a balancing act and that you need to have balance. If you try holding on way too tight, your going to send her away further. Just remember that, okay.
I do wish you the best and yes by all means keep us informed and happy you came on here with your questions.
Take care and Good luck... Hope it all works out, but and I say this but if it does not work out remember that at least you gave it your all. You can leave and walk away without any doubts and hopefully move on.
If it works out for the best and defiantly changes for the better then good for you but working together, being together and trusting each other is very important for the relationship to continue striving.
Joe
Thanks a bunch Joe. We have both agreed that we are ready to work as a team to get this back to where we need it to be. We can get it back I truly believe that. If it doesn't work out, than like you said, I will know I have tried my best, and that it wasn't meant to be. But I need to try my best, and that is what I'm going to do. I've never felt this way about any of my past relationships, so I know this is worth fighting for.
Dear RSmyth58
No two relationships are the same and each works in its own mysterious way, but there are fundamental truths that keep any relationship healthy.
In order for love to work between two people there needs to be mutual respect, acceptance of the character traits of the other person and understanding of their particular 'buttons' and why and how they get pushed.
You need to find out why your 'button' of jealousy gets pushed and you need to realise that every time you over react, you push your girlfriend further away from you because you're basically telling her that you don't trust her.
If this relationship is to last, then it needs to be based on trust because let me tell you a fact - if you give her what she needs, she will NOT stray from you no matter what else is on offer.
Love her, bless her, encourage her, build her up and you will no longer need to be jealous, because her heart will be yours.
These subtle hints aren't subtle, regardless of if she said she wants to marry you and such before.
She doesn't want to do this. Don't force her.
NC, buddy, stay off Facebook.
I hate to say it because I have been in the same spot, best thing you could do man is let go and move on. Maybe she will come back.
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