talaniman - OK, gotcha. I'm sure it didn't come across because I'm typing so much and giving so much (unfiltered) detail but I'm much more calm about things at this point than it must seem from my earlier posts. I'm certainly not going to sit around pining away for her until she returns next week. I have a lot of things (both work and social/fun) lined up.
Hearing something (and seemingly positive) made me feel better than her just totally vanishing into thin air after abruptly pulling away, that behavior drives me nuts. If she gets back and says she thought it over and is out, then I would be disappointed, but better than where my head was before, if that makes sense. As I said, just looking for a shot to see what can happen here (but not just sitting here waiting for only that), looks like I will at least get that... I think. Just want to put my best foot forward and not send the wrong signal. Not putting all my eggs in the one basket, though I did like the earlier look at that basket. I do realize that there is more I need to learn about this other person, if she will even let me in to learn it. As I said a little earlier, I'll approach this brick wall with caution.

Showme_urmove - thanks for the good thoughts. That's basically where I am at this point.

An update: we have traded a few text messages over the past several days. Not a lot, nothing heavy, just light conversation. She seemed upbeat.

As she said she would catch up when she got back to town, I was hoping it would be sooner than later. No calls yet. My curiosity got the better of me tonight and I checked an online dating site she mentioned she had tried a while back, yet told me she was down on (only met crazy people). Well, I found her profile and she has been on it in the last hour. I don't want to overreact in any way, but could use some advice. I know this doesn't necessarily mean anything significant (we were pretty new anyway) and she may just be checking up on messages (we were new), but certainly could mean I have been written off completely.

Gut reaction is that I must have blown it a couple of weeks ago. Hoping that's not the case, but just feeling disappointed in myself and could use a little support and advice. I haven't been a basket case, just kicking myself. What really hurts is that reading her profile and what she says she's looking for, we have so much in common that it's scary. On paper we look great, but we're just not having any truly meaningful communication at this point. As I don't meet lots of women I connect well with, it's that much harder. I can get a date, I just don't find the better matches easily.

I'm not going to go psycho/stalker and try to force anything. I would just like an opportunity to talk to her and clear up what was obviously a bad night that must have pushed her away. I don't want to force anyone into anything but would like a chance to just talk to her, to see if there's any salvaging an opportunity. I haven't known her long but on paper we click and in person there was definite chemistry. Just want to give this a shot. What can I do? I'm not a bad guy, I'm a so-called great catch that just can't seem to connect.

She has thanked me for my (few) nice messages (I haven't blown up her phone) by text instead of just completely blowing me off but hasn't called me back. Do you see any window here?

If I'm cooked, I guess I will soldier on but I will be sad about this one.

An update if anyone is still interested...

I did finally talk to her tonight and we had a great conversation. Basically, she has been going through tough times and had a final meeting with her recent ex to exchange belongings. He was quite cruel and she took it hard. She needed some time alone (and with friends) to get over that but is now feeling much better. We made plans to get together soon and she seems pretty into it. So that's good news. She also explained away the dating site issue unprompted, I had not even brought it up, she doesn't know I looked her up. Strange, yet plausible story. So, we'll see where things go but amazingly I haven't blown it.

On a more important note, I realized that I have not been handling things in a normal or healthy manner lately. I am taking steps to change that. I had an appointment with a therapist today who told me I'm exhibiting classic signs of clinical depression. I'm going to attend regular sessions to sort through my issues. I have plenty of baggage from childhood into adulthood that I need to deal with. I have tried to be "strong" and bury it for a long time but that isn't working anymore. It's affecting me and I need to address it. That's exactly what I'm going to do.

I'd like to sincerely thank all who have given support and good advice, even when I haven't been following it. I haven't willfully been tuning you out, I have been blinded by my own issues. But I am opening my eyes. I appreciate your help. I also thank you for letting me just vent in this forum.

I can only respect a man, who is willing to get help for his problems.

Best of luck, and we have a place to vent with your name on it any time you need it.

Best of luck to you and I'm sure you'll find your therapy helpful.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by overanalyzer

An update if anyone is still interested...

I did finally talk to her tonight and we had a great conversation. Basically, she has been going through tough times and had a final meeting with her recent ex to exchange belongings. He was quite cruel and she took it hard. She needed some time alone (and with friends) to get over that but is now feeling much better. We made plans to get together soon and she seems pretty into it. So that's good news. She also explained away the dating site issue unprompted, I had not even brought it up, she doesn't know I looked her up. Strange, yet plausible story. So, we'll see where things go but amazingly I haven't blown it.

On a more important note, I realized that I have not been handling things in a normal or healthy manner lately. I am taking steps to change that. I had an appointment with a therapist today who told me I'm exhibiting classic signs of clinical depression. I'm going to attend regular sessions to sort through my issues. I have plenty of baggage from childhood into adulthood that I need to deal with. I have tried to be "strong" and bury it for a long time but that isn't working anymore. It's affecting me and I need to address it. That's exactly what I'm going to do.

I'd like to sincerely thank all who have given support and good advice, even when I haven't been following it. I haven't willfully been tuning you out, I have been blinded by my own issues. But I am opening my eyes. I appreciate your help. I also thank you for letting me just vent in this forum.

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I'm glad everything has turned out well for you concerning the lady. Also, I hope you work out all of the issues you address and I commend you for getting help. Good luck. :)