Dude - WHY are you talking about that?? She's so turned off by that. Be funny, joke. Not al serious. Yuck!!

You're only going to PUSH HER AWAY!! Where's the mystery - be busy.

You just spent the night with her and then you have to call her?? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I see why she's turned off!!

You push too much - and I can see you're needy. Women don't want pressure and needy EVER!! Be a man!!

You smothered this women - hell you smothered on your birthday. You didn't listen before to what we advised.

Why all the need for the contact. Be busy doing other things.

She's not your life. Only a small part of it.

People want wha tthey can't have - she has you... it's too much.

This is exactly why you should have avoided her. I was telling you, it is almost impossible not to talk about the emotional things, i.e.. Your relationship. If you see this person, the past will come back. We're human, not robots. And quite honestly, it is one of the main reasons it is so hard to go back to someone. It is difficult to forget the past.

Anyway, you should NOT do anything with this girl for at least 2-3 months. No calls, no emails, no talking. Nothing. You need to start on the process of forgetting her (which is a very long process).

And anytime you miss her, tell yourself SHE DOES NOT MISS ME. SHE BROKE UP WITH ME. Even if she DOES MISS YOU, she doesn't want you as a boyfriend which is THE ONLY THING YOU REALLY WANT. It'll make it easier not to call her if you think this way.

And it does suck, but break-ups were never meant to feel good. And stop putting her on a pedastal. How she is doing, who she's doing what with, her happiness, her life, is no longer your concern. SHE BROKE-UP WITH YOU. That should tick you off a little.

And that may sound cold and heartless, but she DITCHED YOU to MAKE HER LIFE BETTER. That's the bottom line. You have to start doing the same.

Time to accept that it is over between you two. All this other BS about her straightening out her life, not sure when she will be ready, wants to remain friends is all that! The biggest load of BS ever.

I bet she owuldnt have a problem getting into something tomorrow if she thought she had met Mr Right.

She is just saying all the things people say when they want out of a relationship and they don't have it in them to be honest. It makes her feel less guilty and you feel less pain, well at least less pain for the time being. And that is because you are hanging on to false hope.

Wait to see how the pain is when you realise that there is no hope and never was and for months you have been led on by her. Don't let her do that man!!

Sorry man, but time to accpet its over and begin to grieve and heal.

No more phone calls, no more text messaged, no more letter. NOTHING!!

Please please please realise its over and she isn't coming back. You have to for your own sake.

Now is all about you. Look after you. Do things to take your mind off her best you can. Hang with friends and family. Be active, exercise, eat well! Do anything but sit around and dwell on her.

Good luck and keep us posted. We can guide you through this! But first step is acceptance!

Yep - alibi's.

But do you understand why she's turned off??

Why in the hell all these tough questions??

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skell

And that is because you are hanging on to false hope.Wait to see how the pain is when you realise that there is no hope and never was and for months you have been led on by her. Dont let her do that man!!!!
first step is acceptance!

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All of the above response by Skell was really useful for you and many others too I would imagine.

I particularly like this chunk of it though.. You really need to read this a few times over and think carefully about it!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

All of the above response by Skell was really useful for you and many others too I would imagine.

I particularly like this chunk of it though.. You really need to read this a few times over and think carefully about it!!

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Thanks Geoff,

And you, like me Geoff, know only to well that the only reason this is so right is because we were guilty of it too. You, me, Blaze, Cali all of us, heck it probably even happened to Tal and Cat in the past.. At one stage after our break up we were in denial and still though it was going to work out.

So you can just as strongly confirm that once that denial is over come and acceptance is achieved that true healing begins. Maybe this is a natural process and can't be forced but I still think it needs hammering home. If it helps this poster get to it just a day more quick then it is worth it.

<<So you can just as strongly confirm that once that denial is over come and acceptance is achieved that true healing begins. Maybe this is a natural process and can't be forced but I still think it needs hammering home. If it helps this poster get to it just a day more quick then it is worth it.
>>

Agree a lot with this... however I think some hope and denial is needed at the beginning, just to get you through the first difficult weeks/months.. as you say I think it is just the natural process of things...

Just go out to dinner with them and enjoy yourself. She obviously wants to keep things more casual between you two right now so play along. Don't worry about "being together" or pressure her about it. Don't contact her too much before or after your birthday and don't respond right away to her IM's or other means of contacting you.

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Originally Posted by Wildcat21

I think he has a shot if she's taking him to dinner. He just needs to clean up his act and quit acting like he cares so much.

Dude - the tough questions are for the women to ask. You play it cool and have fun and make her laugh!!!!

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This is correct. Play along and have fun doing so.