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-   -   Alcohol & Cheating.Confused (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=451183)

  • Feb 24, 2010, 08:30 PM
    confused580
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    Sometimes things can't be fixed,and if you feel you made the right choice,I suggest you start moving on by going no contact.

    Have you read the stickies at the top of the relationship page with lots of advice on how to handle a breakup?

    Good luck and take care of yourself.

    I know I have made the right choice... when I asked her about it, she got defensive and lied about the texts... I saw them with my own eyes... she won't admit responsibility... I don't trust her, she doesn't trust me... its over... trust is the building block of any relationship...

    Yes I've read the stickies
  • Feb 24, 2010, 08:38 PM
    vanheart

    Good one. Yes.

    She's got major problems. You must be exhausted by now.

    Cut her out of your life. Save yourself.

    Its going to be a road, but go total NC. No question. She will plead to you later for sure. Just ignore it.

    But the reality is that she doesn't give a rats a$$ about you. Only what gets her off.

    She's bad news.
  • Feb 24, 2010, 08:45 PM
    racquel58
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by dynocompe View Post
    if I woke up and my gf was tiddling herself while on the phone with another man, she would be finish tiddling herself outside of the house. SEE ya later.
    She walks all over you and you sit there and take it. When you guy have sex, i bet she wears a strap on

    Ye, I agree. How would SHE feel if you did this TO HER? No way would she allow it! (I'm guessing). She needs help with her alcohol problem (not from you though!. Professionally! You can't change her!)

    You really need to get help with your abandonment issues too, I do know how you feel. It is awful to feel this way! But by not taking control of your own issues, you are setting yourself up for being used and abused by other people. And allowing it. You are not being helpful to yourself by being a doormat because you are scared of being alone. I know this from experience and am still struggling with it! I know its so much easier said than done!

    Also, the longer you leave it the harder it gets! You start thinking 'OMG, I am now XX years old! How can I be alone NOW! I will never meet anyone NOW!' Quit while you're only 30. Work on your issues and you will find someone much more worthy of you! Also, get help with the drinking side of things when you are alone... it will only make things worse and in my experience made me act regretably (sp?) and make things even worse.
  • Feb 24, 2010, 08:52 PM
    vanheart

    Yeah no more tiddling.

    Run.

    And yes, understand what YOUR deal is. Start looking inside. Mistakes & why. Who are you?
  • Feb 24, 2010, 09:02 PM
    Kitkat22

    If you don't like conflict... you are with the wrong girl.
  • Feb 24, 2010, 09:06 PM
    Kitkat22
    [QUOTE=.. I am the type that does not like Conflict


    IIf you don't like conflict you are with the wrong girl.
  • Feb 24, 2010, 09:38 PM
    confused580

    Thank you all... I use to go by astrology saying I'm a Libra, she's an Aquarius... and we would be compatible... yeah that was 6.5 years ago I thought this... you all just dot know how much I appreciated ALL your input... it helps tremendously
  • Feb 24, 2010, 09:42 PM
    vanheart

    Glad to hear.

    Now focus on reality. Get happy.
  • Feb 24, 2010, 09:45 PM
    confused580
    She has not contacted me tonight, yet I figure its because she's with this person... I have no doubt in my mind she will try to contact me tomorrow or maybe much later and realize she can't get through... thanks to my cell phone carrier, I have set it up through phone settings, where any number that is not in your contact list will not be able to get through to you. They will Directly to voicemail... also text messages not from your contact list are blocked... yayyyyyyy
  • Feb 24, 2010, 09:50 PM
    vanheart

    You're doing the right thing. Congrats

    Any contact with her from now on is unproductive for you.

    Stay on it. Be strong & post here whenever.

    We all want you you to move away from this & get better.
  • Feb 24, 2010, 09:52 PM
    racquel58

    Well done! That is a great step! You should be proud of yourself! REALLY proud that you had the strength to pull yourself out of that situation. So what id she is with that person! POOR THEM! Ha ha! I used to do the same thing as you and worry about it... just realise they are not changing their ways and therefore will be in the same position as some other poor willing soul
  • Feb 24, 2010, 10:27 PM
    Kitkat22

    Don't get pulled back into that mess.
    If you do she'll drag you right into the gutter where she will be soon. That might be a harsh statement but it's true.

    You cannot "fix her". She'll have to do that herself. Good luck.
  • Feb 24, 2010, 11:02 PM
    confused580
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by vanheart View Post
    Youre doing the right thing. Congrats

    Any contact with her from now on is unproductive for you.

    Stay on it. Be strong & post here whenever.

    We all want you you to move away from this & get better.

    Thank you Vanheart and Kitkat22, I will keep you posted. I will keep ALL of you posted that have taken the TIME to not only read my post, but also REply... thank you all, and I will keep you informed!
  • Feb 25, 2010, 12:45 AM
    dynocompe

    Goood to hear that she can't even get ahold of u! As soon as this guy leaves town she is going to try and contact you! This is so great! Don't even think about her, this girl puts the L is lame-O and Loser!
  • Feb 25, 2010, 01:03 AM
    amicon

    Good move re your cell!
    Stay strong and keep busy.
  • Feb 25, 2010, 08:20 AM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by confused580 View Post
    Thank you Vanheart and Kitkat22, I will keep you posted. I will keep ALL of you posted that have taken the TIME to not only read my post, but also REply....thank you all, and I will keep you informed!

    Be Strong! Blessings
  • Feb 25, 2010, 08:25 AM
    confused580
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    Good move re your cell!
    Stay strong and keep busy.

    Keeping busy does not always work, but it does for a while. I have a daily regimen to keep busy though
  • Feb 25, 2010, 08:26 AM
    confused580
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    Be Strong! Blessings


    Thank you
  • Feb 25, 2010, 09:12 AM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by confused580 View Post
    thank you


    Each day you will find it gets better. One day you'll wake up and the pain will be gone and there will be someone wonderful in your life and that is worth waiting for!
  • Feb 25, 2010, 02:46 PM
    Communication11

    U should get started with another girl. If you don't your mind will keep wandering about your old past. Like people say, if the new don't come how can the old goes away. Get a new girl, bad or good, just get one to forget the past one.

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