Mix dating in with a few classes, and some hobbies, you have the makings of a great life. There are few things to make you happy with yourself other than having a great life.

Do you have any idea how attractive that is to others? I do, they won't be able to resist you. (and that means even more options and opportunities to explore.)

Use this knowledge, and the power it brings wisely. Being happy with yourself and your life, gives you something good to share with DESERVING people.

Thanks Talaniman

I'm just not keen on the whole "rebound relationships" thing.
It's not very fair on the guy In my opinion.
Hence why I suggested just finding new friends.

Emop, you were so hung up on Cody last week saying that you would never leave him etc etc, I just don't think dating is a good idea right now.. yeah sure, your heart bounces back but I personally like a little time to heal after a break-up.
That's just me though, everyone else seems to think differently, maybe I'm just weird.

I see where your mum is coming from but I guess the 'gaining confidence from dating 5 or more different guys/girls' worries me.

If taken too literally it can mean that you are looking to other people to make sure you are 'ok'. Which I think is a no-go. Gives far too many people too much power over you. Trust me. Its hard to break that cycle!

HOWEVER, if its more just so you gain confidence through your new experiences with other people, your heightened sense of achievement in social settings and through your experiences. Then I say that is AWESOME!

like a few others have said -BOUNDARIES! BOUNDARIES! BOUNDARIES!!! Sorry, I just can't emphasise that enough! Take my advice (someone who still doesn't set up enough boundaries at 23). They are so important for keeping you mentally, emotionally and physically safe. You need to be able to weed out the people that do not respect your boundaries RIGHT AWAY.

Be mindful of what they are, PARTICULARLY now. Because going through a break up of any kind can knock our self esteem and make us more vulnerable, less likely to enforce our boundaries and more likely to allow people to cross them and damage us more.

I agree also with going out doing new hobbies and just generally having a life! HEALTHY people will be attracted to that and admire you for it. Anyone that condones it is unhealthy for you!

If 'date' is just having fun with people without attraction (not necessarily, sometimes of course there will be attraction!) and without attachment then that sounds fun and you are making me jealous! And I also need to get my butt out to do that!

also, I noticed you said about the pregnancy... I don't know if you have issues with that... but maybe if you do talking to someone professionally may help? I just don't want you to harbour any feelings and smother them with 'fun' only to have them later rear their heads =S

My mum is now pushing me to date a 22 year old. I don't know how to tell her no.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

My mum is now pushing me to date a 22 year old. I don't know how to tell her no.

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YOU: Mom, it's my decision and I'm not ready to see anyone yet, especially someone 5 years older than me.

MOM: But it's good for you

YOU: It is MY decision and I am NOT ready. I will date in my own time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

My mum is now pushing me to date a 22 year old. I don't know how to tell her no.

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Yeah I'd just tell her to back off. That's what I say to my mom if she takes it too far. So anyway, just tell her that you're not interested and that you'd appreciate it if she left it to you.

She knows I've had feelings for him for quite a while now. I told her to back off, she now has my dad pushing for it too

Quote:

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

She knows I've had feelings for him for quite a while now. I told her to back off, she now has my dad pushing for it too

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Then just walk away next time she starts to talk about it. And I really wouldn't take much word from your father if I were you.. .

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ohsohappy

Then just walk away next time she starts to talk about it. And I really wouldn't take much word from your father if I were you. . .

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He's been good lately

Quote:

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

He's been good lately

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Lately doesn't often follow with "he's kept it up" Lately is a very temporary word. Think about it. Hopefully I'm wrong in this instance, but I have a feeling that there's bee other times where he's been "good lately" and it didn't last like you had hoped. I'm not saying don't appreciate it, but be cautious.

On the other hand, Explain more about this guy. You're still young, so 22 MIGHT be a little old for you, but how do you know him and what draws you to him? (I'm not encouraging you to date him this soon, I'm just curious)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ohsohappy

lately doesn't often follow with "he's kept it up" Lately is a very temporary word. Think about it. Hopefully I'm wrong in this instance, but I have a feeling that there's bee other times where he's been "good lately" and it didn't last like you had hoped. I'm not saying don't appreciate it, but be cautious.

On the other hand, Explain more about this guy. You're still young, so 22 MIGHT be a little old for you, but how do you know him and what draws you to him? (I'm not encouraging you to date him this soon, I'm just curious)

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I met him at school, I was a freshman and he was a senior. We were good friends back then. Still are. He went through a lot of similar things as I have growing up. He isn't 22 yet, but will be this month. I've dated older. What draws me to him is how sweet and kind he is (in all scenarios, don't forget, I've known him for years and have seen him react to nearly everything). He treats me like a princess in ways, but still as an equal. He is so much like me in what we like, dislike, care about, aspirations. My family loves him, he came over today and we played with my little brother after we watched a movie. The list is so long! I could go on for hours. The only negative thing is... He's in the army.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

She knows I've had feelings for him for quite a while now. I told her to back off, she now has my dad pushing for it too

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I don't know if I would trust a Mom and Pop dating service, especially if they were REALLY your Mom and Pop.

Is there a chance of your and the ex getting back together? If so, I wouldn't date at all yet. If not, then there is nothing wrong with going out and having some clean fun. It does a body good to feel attractive to people other than the one who you've been dating.

The most important thing is to be happy. You are young, you deserve to have a happy life. We all do at your age. When you get older, thrills have a tendency to taper off. They get absorbed by careers, mortgages, and especially child rearing. Now is the time for you to enjoy yourself. Even though I think that it is a bit strange for your mother to be fixing you up with guys, I feel that it's best that you don't just jump back into a relationship right now. Enjoy your freedom while you can. I got married, for the first, and hopefully only time, when I was 36. And boy did I have fun! I have no regrets at all. Well... nothing major.

I have been married for 10 years(almost 11) to a wonderful lady, who is a magnificent mother to our two sons.

So, you go enjoy your youth. But just be careful.

I wish you the best.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jmjoseph

I don't know if I would trust a Mom and Pop dating service, especially if they were REALLY your Mom and Pop.

Is there a chance of your and the ex getting back together? If so, I wouldn't date at all yet. If not, then there is nothing wrong with going out and having some clean fun. It does a body good to feel attractive to people other than the one who you've been dating.

The most important thing is to be happy. You are young, you deserve to have a happy life. We all do at your age. When you get older, thrills have a tendency to taper off. They get absorbed by careers, mortgages, and especially child rearing. Now is the time for you to enjoy yourself. Even though I think that it is a bit strange for your mother to be fixing you up with guys, I feel that it's best that you don't just jump back into a relationship right now. Enjoy your freedom while you can. I got married, for the first, and hopefully only time, when I was 36. And boy did I have fun! I have no regrets at all. Well.... nothing major.

I have been married for 10 years(almost 11) to a wonderful lady, who is a magnificent mother to our two sons.

So, you go enjoy your youth. But just be careful.

I wish you the best.

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There is no chance of me and my x boyfriend getting back together. And were there, I wouldn't take it. It was an unhealthy relationship.

And you see, it isn't that they are setting me up with Rory, they just are pushing for me to go out with him

Quote:

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

There is no chance of me and my x boyfriend getting back together. and were there, I wouldn't take it. It was an unhealthy relationship.

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Good for you chica! :)

Thanks Ohso

As for this other guy, he sounds really nice, BUT, you're still healing, and you're still a bit young.

When do you turn 18? I feel like once you are, it might be a little more acceptable. SO, should you ever want to date him, I think that would be more appropriate, and you'd have had more time to heal.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ohsohappy

As for this other guy, he sounds really nice, BUT, you're still healing, and you're still a bit young.

When do you turn 18? I feel like once you are, it might be a little more acceptable. SO, should you ever want to date him, I think that would be more appropriate, and you'd have had more time to heal.

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He said he knows I'm healing and doesn't want to rush, while hugging me and kissed my forehead. Sorry getting giddy now

I turn 18 in August

Quote:

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

He said he knows I'm healing and doesn't want to rush, while hugging me and kissed my forehead. sorry getting giddy now

I turn 18 in august

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YAY FOR HAPPINESS! That should give you plenty of time. If you can wait that long, I think you should, You'll be glad you did. :) There might be potential there.

He's making me wait anyway!

Haha, he keeps hugging me and saying "I'm sorry my friend. forgive me for not waning to rush"


I realized that since I ended it with Cody, I've felt happy. And spending time with Rory has given me an extra boost of happyness