You can't live your whole life, especially your love life behind a 17 inch colour monitor and a keyboard.

This is not love, not even close! In fact, I think it edges more towards the fantasy of having a relationship than anything else.

I know these comments might hurt a little because the picture may seem to have different colours from the angle your viewing it but you must understand that this is very unhealthy.

You cannot love someone you have never met, and chatting like this really does not count!

If this was going to materialise into anything more than simply chatting on the internet, she would have invited that situation to happen by now.. What has she done when you brought up this issue? simply said "no!" more or less.

I don't mean to sound rude, (I only want to help) but if you have never met her, then for all you know she could either be married or worse, it could be a bloke.

Go out and find someone in the real world who can appreciate you for who you really are... In the flesh as well as in the mind..

Plenty of fish in this sea!

I'd end this now!!

Find an actual real available woman.

Have you even spoken on the phone?

You're 18 and you have had a massive argument? Weird. :confused:

How do you have a massive argument over the internet? :eek:

She says she wants you to change or she is going to leave you? How can she leave you when you haven't even met?

Dump this ordeal and seek some help. This is too mess up. Your only 18. This could be a real coooooook on
The other end. :cool:

Nice one BIM,

I did not catch on to the age thing..

You are 18, you need to go out and have fun, enjoy life...

Too young to be obsessing over this.

Obsess over your Youth instead and what you have to enjoy out of life. Don't waste any more time on this.

In fact, go and call a few friends right now!

Mind you, that's just advice, you do what you feel is best for you! It's your life!

For those who cannot take the reality of face-to-face, the internet provides a way to create a relationship of sorts. It can be largely fantasy-based but capable of blurring the line between fantasy and reality to the point where people can and do get hurt. For some it is the only way to seek love because they can lie to get it -- they can be someone other than who they are in the eyes of another, at least for a little while... until the game is up. That she won't meet you is proof enough that this is all she wanted since almost anyone else who claims to love you would have had a BIG natural desire to meet in person. There is where you can separate the real from the fake. Time to recognise you've been schmoozed and learn the lesson... unless of course you've been schmoozing her back. Then it makes sense and you deserve each other.

But I don't think you can do an end-run around Love like that - Love requires Honesty to work... and you don't have either if you can't meet.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Phelpsie001

HELP!!

Ok, here i go.

I have been going out with my girlfriend for almost 11 months....ok right?

WRONG! I have never met her because i live about 120miles away...so why dont i just get on a train and see her? I always suggest it but when i do she says she dances on saturdays, has school during the week and sundays is a family day.

Also, she dancies ALL holidays EVERY holidays.

But she went on a mini break with her female mate for 2weeks but in her defence it was totally a surprise but she always tells me that she wants to see me but is too busy.

If i ask her if she is free, she says im trying to start problems and gets upset and this mood stays for months.

I am sure she loves me and i love her but recently we have argued and she seems less intimate with me. We argue over little things but this is only because i want to be with her soooo badly. I can't leave her because it would hurt so much.

Why won't she take ONE saturday a month off to see me? i have asked and she told me to stop creating problems.

Does she want the love but not the commitment?

Finally how can i get her to see me?

Please....i am so confused and upset.

Thanks people and i hope no-one is feeling the pain i do right now.

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Your biggest mistake is in thinking that this lassie is your girlfriend. She is not. She is your cyber pen-pal.


Have you not heard that a bird in the hand is worth two in the chatroom?

M:)

This is someone you've never met. Yet you claim to "love" her. I highly doubt that she sees this as any kind of viable "relationship." She probably regards you as some sort of cyber pen-pal. I'm sorry, but I think you and she have totally different ideas and expectations concerning this "relationship." I'd leave this one to just exchanging friendly e-mails and nothing more and concentrate on someone more approachable.

We have spoken on the phone and such but... she seems to always have an excuse not to meet. Then we argue over why we can't meet so she asks me never to brong it up and she will tell me when she is free.

I'm just going to get on a train and see her in 2weeks... ill let you all know how it went and thanks everyone!!

I know people who have met on the internet and married so I don't think the concept is that off. But this girl must be hiding something if she keeps making excuses to meet. Either she's too young to want what you want, or she is seeing somebody else already, or she's hiding something about her physical appearance. You might just be disappointed if you take it upon yourself to hop on a train and see her. Might be for the best though. It might get you over her since she won't put in the same effort as you.

1. Get off the internet and take your woman-nabbing skills to places where you can find a sure thing.

2. Stop trying to force a physical contact relationship with her. Sorry to say, but to her, you are that one guy online she can get attention from, and probably the only guy.

3. If she really wanted something, she would try. Best to cut your losses before you meet in person.

In going I hope you are prepared for what you find.
Best of luck

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Phelpsie001

we have spoken on the phone and such but....she seems to always have an excuse not to meet. then we argue over why we can't meet so she asks me never to brong it up and she will tell me when she is free.

im just going to get on a train and see her in 2weeks....ill let you all know how it went and thanks every1!!!

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She evidently does not want to know. You have nothing here. At best a fantasy of something you see as a reality. (sorry if my words seem harsh)

It's up to you what you do, but you are setting yourself up for hitting your face hard against the wall of reality.

And judging by how much you are investing in this emotionally, I believe it might very well hurt you too.

Be prepared for what you find and also be prepared for the kind of reaction you get because again, judging by what you have said in this response, she is either not aware you are going to visit her or not agreed to it. Either way, I would be inclinced to say that you are in a lose/lose situation.

Do yourself a favour and cut free from this... Like I said before, you are only 18, go out and enjoy yourself, study hard. Plenty of time for girls and if you really want a girlfriend now, it would be better to get one in the real world, would it not?

I applaud you going if that is what will bring you closure. Just remember -- when it looks like a lie, and it sounds like a lie and it feels like a lie, don't be too surprised when it turns out to be a lie, okay? I rather suspect you'll get there and if you have an address, it won't be hers, or she'll still refuse to show herself etc. -- so there is always that outcome too.

I feel some of these responses are a bit harsh, I so feel for you. You probably know yourself that you have been naïve and not everyone else is as honest as you are which is a great quality. I do have to agree with everyone else though, you don't know who you are speaking to so get out now. It will hurt for a while but you just have to go through it and hopefully you will come out the other side a new man. All the best, my thoughts are with you.

I agree with Val on this one also. If you want to go surprise this gal--than more power to you. By all means go, if it will bring you some relief. You said she was two hours away? Not much of a sacrifice to ease your mind.

But also as Val said, be prepared for what you may find! :cool: If she is not willing to meet up with you--she is definitely hiding something!

Good luck to you and I hope this brings some closure for you.:)

I do think you need to just go and find out about her - you've put way too much emotions not to.

But I agree - be prepared for what you might find. NO EXPECTATIONS WHAT SO EVER!!

Please let us no what happens.