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-   -   Feeling upset about being ignored - is he not taking care of our relationship? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=442377)

  • Jan 8, 2010, 08:37 PM
    ohsohappy

    Clearly You are the one that was more important to him, he might not have posted happy birthday on your Facebook wall, but dang girl, he didn't throw HER a party, and heck, the "happy birthday" was a week late. Why would you be all worked up about it?

    So what if he didn't post it one your Facebook wall. Is it because he didn't post it in every way possible so that everyone could see? Does his congratulations to you need to be on the internet as well as him giving you a party?

    This is why I don't have a Facebook, people get all worked up about the tiniest crap. Unless you see him posting pictures and flirty comments or some other junk, you have no reason to feel upset.

    He obviously wanted you to feel special and appreciated, otherwise he wouldn't have done that much.

    Don't think too much about it.
  • Jan 9, 2010, 01:58 PM
    kiera90

    It was only a comment. Nothing else.
    Think of what he did for you :)
  • Jan 9, 2010, 02:03 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    I have to laugh, teens seem to live their lives on what people post on those silly type of sites.

    So when you texted him ( I am sure you don't actually talk) and asked him who she was, what did she say.

    You know I think Face Book said I should be a ballet dancer for halloween also.

    And this Jessie may be a movie star, or a role model. A girlfriend would be just that,
  • Jan 10, 2010, 04:02 AM
    Clough
    Quote:

    Originally posted by nikosmom
    Beautifully said, Clough!
    Hey, nikosmom!

    That was sweet!

    Thanks! :)
  • Jan 11, 2010, 11:58 PM
    Clough
    Quote:

    Originally posted by artlady

    A Romeo with a heart,excellent:) Yes,life is too short for petty insecurities and sadly some people don't get that until they are older and have wasted too much time on them.
    Well, bless your heart, artlady! That's much appreciated!

    Thanks!
  • Jan 12, 2010, 12:23 AM
    Yosomoton213

    Haha you're doing all right. You're going to have to acknowledge that before he started going out with you, he had a past life that involved other girlfriends, as I'm assuming that you have as well. Furthermore, about the whole "thought they were going to be married"... he probably thought at the time that they were going to get married, but I sincerely doubt that is the case now. Why, you ask? Because he is with you, throwing you birthday parties, spending time with you, dating you, etc. Usually when one feels closure in a relationship, IE lost most romantic feelings, they reach out to become friends. He obviously feels comfortable enough to do this because he has moved on and that he has YOU.

    The "jessie" incident can mean many things. Jessie might be his best guy friend, or even a friend that is a girl, that said something or did something to warrant the post, like tell a joke or do something rediculously funny, or maybe they did something nice for him. You are also going to have to accept that you are not the only person in this guy's life. Lord knows if I had a girl that got all upset over me having close connections to my friends, that would drive me crazy!

    Just keep it cool, and try not to obsess about the little stuff. You should have friends of your own, and try to balance out your life some more. It seems that you might have a case of dependency developing. Go out and do something for you, like go out with friends, etc. Go see Avatar. It's got great special effects.

    Just a suggestion...
  • Feb 2, 2010, 04:18 PM
    teastalk
    Feeling upset about being ignored - is he not taking care of our relationship?
    So I called up my boyfriend yesterday, but he didn't answer his phone so I left him a message. I was waiting for him to return my call, but he hasn't called me back. I'm wondering what is wrong. We were suppose to meet up yesterday, but I haven't heard from him. We usually talk at night, but when I sent him a text letting him know that I was going to sleep, he didn't even respond back to that.

    So, I am looking for some advice. I am still feeling upset about this. I don't want to make this out to be a big deal, but in a small way, it is actually quite important to me.

    I think most of the reason why I'm feeling upset is because I have experienced this before with someone else. When they didn't answer their phone or respond back to me in some manner... it was because they were ending the relationship (although I didn't know it at the time and I just kept feeling worse and worse without knowing why).
  • Feb 2, 2010, 04:28 PM
    redhed35

    Don't jump to conclusions just yet,there would be any number of reasons for his silence.

    Can I ask how long you have been dating?
  • Feb 2, 2010, 04:39 PM
    mistyjane

    You know I think you should not feel bad.
    Did you do something wrong.If not than you should tell yourself OK I didn't do anything to deserve this .If he wants to play games OK but not with you.Usually when I guy doesn't pick up the phone it is not a good sign.
    Don't try to contact him anymore. If he calls then you'll see...
    But yet live your life.
  • Feb 2, 2010, 04:49 PM
    Devorameira

    The balls in his court now, do just wait until he contacts you. It's possible that his phone was turned off or on silence.

    Have you been having any problems in the relationship that would give him a reason not to return your call?
  • Feb 2, 2010, 08:10 PM
    teastalk

    We have been dating for about three months now. I thought that we were getting along fine. Yet, I don't feel like he's taking care of the relationship if he doesn't pick up my call or at least respond back with a "good night." We haven't had any major fights just before he stopped picking up the call. In fact, I don't think we had any arguments the day before yesterday either.
  • Feb 2, 2010, 11:39 PM
    amicon
    I'm assuming this is the guy from your most recent thread? There is not a lot you can do,he either gets in touch,and then you can ask him for an explanation,or he doesn't,in which case you should call him in a day or so to find out what is going on.
  • Feb 3, 2010, 02:37 AM
    redhed35
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by teastalk View Post
    We have been dating for about three months now. I thought that we were getting along fine. Yet, I don't feel like he's taking care of the relationship if he doesn't pick up my call or at least respond back with a "good night." We haven't had any major fights just before he stopped picking up the call. In fact, I don't think we had any arguments the day before yesterday either.

    Really I don't buy into this 'goodnight' goodmorning' text thing,it wreaks my head.

    Example if you had plans at the weekend and he sent a text mid week or a short call,that would be fine...

    You don't need a constant stream of talk and text to 'take care' of the relationship.

    Yes communication is important but if your busy during the week and have a full life these things should not bother you.

    Usually at about the 3/4 month mark the shine comes off the new relationship,couples start to 'see' the real person and decide if the relationship is for them or not.

    If you find that relationships are ending about that time,take a step back,if this one is over take some time to heal,but this time try and underatand where they are going wrong.

    Are you too needy?

    Does the relationship move to fast in the beginning?

    For the next one,slow things right down,don't be so available,one date a week,slow physical contact,and don't reveal your history in one or two sittings.

    Love takes time to develop,emotional attachment takes time,if your find the same things keep happening,your not changing anything,try something different,for a different result.
  • Feb 3, 2010, 05:07 AM
    Romefalls19

    NO one can read his mind, all you can do is wait and see what happened. There were a bunch of reasons he might not have answered you.
  • Feb 3, 2010, 06:46 AM
    I wish
    Threads merged

    Though you shouldn't jump to conclusions so quickly, it seems like you've had quite your share of problems after only 3 months. Once you find out his side of the story, it's time to sit down and work things out. Otherwise, you're better off going your separate ways.

    Furthermore, you've had quite a bit of insecurity issues in the past. What have you done to help yourself gain more confidence and self-esteem?
  • Feb 3, 2010, 08:32 AM
    talaniman

    Wow, first it was a comment on someone else's Facebook page, ( which for the life of me, I don't understand why you would be on it ) now a missed text message. What's next?

    Got insecurity issues because of the past maybe?? That can't be good for a young relationship.
  • Feb 3, 2010, 09:18 AM
    ohsohappy

    You know, he could have fallen asleep. It happens sometimes, Or he forgot his phone somewhere.
  • Feb 3, 2010, 02:12 PM
    teastalk

    It's not about a missed text message. It was about not returning my call.

    I feel that whenever a girl or a guy is finished with a relationship, they often do not pick up the other person's call or return the call.
  • Feb 3, 2010, 02:16 PM
    redhed35
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by teastalk View Post
    It's not about a missed text message. It was about not returning my call.

    I feel that whenever a girl or a guy is finished with a relationship, they often do not pick up the other person's call or return the call.

    Its one way,it's the cowards way.

    How long has it been since he contacted you?

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