Her parents do not have control over her. She has agreed to her parents telling her not to see you. If she loves you, she wouldn't have done that. You can't make her come back, the only thing you can do is whether to accept her when she wants to, if she wants to.

Your addiction to her isn't healthy and you need to put no contact into place to get over her and this time don't break it unless she does everything she can to get you back. And no, her telling you she loves you or miss you does not cut it.

Put her parents number on your speed dial. When she contacts you, contact them immediately and ask them to speak to her about stopping.

If she's really that influenced by her parents, she'll stop hurting you by calling when she knows you're telling her parents, so she's not getting away with anything.

You could go so far as to answer her call, put her on hold, and then 3-way connect her parents in to the call. Then you 3 can have it out as a group, like adults.

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The guilt you feel is irrelevant. Worse, it's pointless.

She broke up with you.
Each time she contacts you she reinforces the "not you" message.

"But I really LOVE this light socket...I just have to keep sticking my finger in the socket...even though it's killing me to do it...I have to because I LOVE it." Ridiculous!

No, the truth is you DON'T have to keep doing it.
You DON'T have to fall for the selfish manipulations she's aiming at you. ("We can't be together but I won't allow you to get over me.")

So, expose her bad behaviors to the people she actually listens to, then get some peace.

Regardless of cultural diffs, she made her decision, but still wants bit & pieces of you.

Let her be w/her decision.

Get with her priorities and her goals. You do the same.

Learn from this one. It'll take time, but you can do it.

This is a poison situation and your up against more than just her. Her religion/culture prohibits her from marry you so dating is fruitless. While she wants to see you, she is constrained by her culture.

You can't win, no more than Romeo and Juliette could win. Of course you see that.

For sure she isn't going against her parents, not openly any way, so you only have one course that will work. Strict No Contact, and man up, and throw the guilt stuff away.

So far, its you, not her, that's been falling for the mind games, and obsessive behavior. Its you have not taken a strong stand, and wimped out at every turn. Its you, and only you, who have failed to take full control of this situation, and do the right thing for yourself and her. Its just you that allows this female to keep you both in LALA land, and miserable.

Until she can make her own choices, and do for herself, and stand for herself, you really have NO CHOICE but to leave her alone, and ignore her completely. Every time you give in, you make it so much worse for you both.

Do what you have to fella, to disappear from her life, and stop wussing around, and giving in to your own weakness, that stops you from taking control of this situation.

She will either do as her parents say, and leave you alone,or leave home to be with you. Either way, she can just act like a fruit cake because you let her, and allow her to in the name of Love (yeah right), which is an excuse to not have to do the right thing for yourself.

Take control, or suffer, either way stop starting new threads about the same failure on your part!

Yeah... I guess I must have a few issues. Cause everyone says the same thing! IF she calls again I will tell her what you said thanks :) :(

Better yet ignore her. She needs to get her act together, and either obey her parents, or leave!

As long as you'tr there for her games, she has to do neither.

NC, man, do it. Stick to it.

Religious diffs, cultural diffs, parents, new boyfriends, insecurity, freedom, plans, agendas, bs & more. Whatever the reasons or situations.

The bottom line is... Its no longer.

Suck it up & get in control. If that's what she wants now, then why do you want her? No reason.

For what? Deal with her & her family later. Too much work.

Work on yourself instead.

Thanks for helping me see reason today. You guys are really caring and understanding. I spoke to her tonight when she called told her she was hurting me badly and I said I had to cut contact. That if she decided to be with me she could come back. I still feel upset but I feel a weight has come of my shoulders. She is texting me goodnight, but like you guys said if she is coming back she has to be chasing after me now.

How old are you and what are your religions?

I am Catholic and 26 years old

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Spongebunny

I am Catholic and 26 years old

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How about her?