Don't do it.. It will bring you back to square one. Leave the past behind. There's a great future in front of you...

Ya I'm assuming you guys are right... The only thing is that when she left she was sooo in love with me, and I guess something in the air at school changed her feelings. She will be back home in 5 months to stay for 6 months, so I was thinking if I kept Low contact then we could pick up things were they left off, because I feel like she still loves me. So there's no hope in sending flowers or a card I guess?

Who knows what will happen in 5 months. One thing I am sure of she didn't just breathe the air, and decide to dump you. She planned this long before she told you ADIÓS!

Let go of the false hope with the low contact idea, or flowers. Stay full no contact, and carry on doing your thing.

Should I delete her off my Facebook account? Because I always tell myself I won't look and then I do! But if I delete her then shell think I'm trying to push her away and she will never want to contact me.

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Originally Posted by pureorganic

Hi guys,
So I was wondering my girl friend left up to school and she dumped me while she was up there because of the distance and she realized she wanted to date while she was up there and do other things. Its been a month of no contact and I still really miss her. So I was thinking I would send her some flowers on valentines day, that say " I wont forget you" or " im always thinking of you" signed out with only the first initial of my name, kinda to leave a mystery that it could be me or it might not be. Anyways do you think this is a bad idea? or should I just keep not bugging her and move on and not waste my money? any advise or answers will be greatly appreciated.

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WHAT! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! You just went through in the previous post about how "No Contact is the only way" and you're asking if you should send flowers and valentines to the girl who dumped over a month ago so she date others men? Are you serious?!

NO.

Love the part too about how she was so in love with you when she left. Then a week later she's sleeping with someone else... sorry to be so harsh but come on buddy.

Haha... your right man... but I don't rememeber me saying she slept with someone? Haha. Its just hard when your in the situation. Its hard to remember back on everything that you went through in the past and you fall into old ways. Don't get me wrong I know no contact is the way to go, I've been no contact for a month so far, its just killer... so what about the Facebook? Should I delete that? Or just stay casual friends on it? Will she take offense if I delete her?

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So what about the Facebook? Should I delete that? Or just stay casual friends on it? Will she take offense if I delete her?

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True No Contact means deleting all ways to keep in touch and that includes Facebook and any other way to keep track of her.

You seem more concerned about her feelings than your healing, so may I ask how you felt when she left loving you so much, but dumped you from a distance?

Your half stepping your own recovery, and no wonder you are still confused because false hope has you keeping the door open for her to come back to you, in the form of this Facebook stuff. Close it!

There is no such thing as "casual friends" with someone you still have feelings for. That is an oxymoron. The Facebook stuff has to go. NC is about full dedication to ridding ALL communication - you can't just cherry pick certain things. I trust you will learn from your own mistakes on this as we all have.

Who cares if she takes offense to it! She left you! There is no need to be friends while you recover, you are not getting the whole idea of NC. It's not about picking a choosing which fields you wish to shut down

Ya I know its true. I got over my last ex with no contact, I know I can do this. I just deleted my whole face book account because I don't even want to be tempted to look her up and peek at her profile pic... when your in the moment though its 10x harder... u just feel like u will never meet someone so incredible and genuine and pretty... but I guess time goes on and ill just rot away in my rocking chair by the fire with my old trusty dog by myside, listening to elton john with the lights dimmed.

Its over, this girl hasn't a clue what she wants, stop the texts and if she texts you, reply casually, if there is anything to rekindle, she will tell you when you see her, for now you must move on. Expectancy is the route of disappointment.

Ya I hope she doesn't text me because it will rip my heart open again... gosh is there reallllly freakin love out there?? Man I'm a good guy! I'm good looking! I don't deserve this!! Have you guys ever really had your heart trully broken? Where you get so depressed where you just can't go on?

No! I will be honest the lack of love from a female has never gotten me in that kind of a funk, and I have loved and lost many times. But be aware that when it does make you that depressed, it's a clear red flag that you have lost yourself in her and need to find yourself.

Now is the time to find yourself, and learn to be happy with who you are.

Its not right to love someone that much more than you love yourself. That's not a healthy mature love, that's dependence! No different than a junkie who needs his fix.

Recognize this so you can deal with your "withdrawal" pains.

So your saying that when you give your heart to someone you shouldn't feel this kind of pain? Is it normal? I mean... technically to be in a true love relationship where you actually care and love for someone you have to put your heart out on the line. So to not be hurt by the lost of a loved one is to say that maybe the person never loved at all.

Don't try & rationalize it too hard. Or analyze it under a microscope.
Your in pain because of this loss, yes.

Most of us have been there at least once.

Now focus on healing from it.

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Quote by pureorganic;so your saying that when you give your heart to someone you shouldn't feel this kind of pain?

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You are human of course you will feel pain. It hurt, but won't kill you though!

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is it normal? I mean... technically to be in a true love relationship where you actually care and love for someone you have to put your heart out on the line.

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That's not what you had, you had a great time with a great girl and wanted more, but she didn't, remember. You fell deeper than she did. So now you hurt. More disappointment since you invested so much. That's sucks too!

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So to not be hurt by the lost of a loved one is to say that maybe the person never loved at all

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I can guarantee she wasn't in the kind of love you were, and that's the problem. See it for what it is and learn that because you have strong feelings, doesn't mean hers are the same. If they were you would have that love relationship you speak of. This was to one sided for that. No blame, just facts. She was not as emotionally invested as you were, and having had this experience, you will be a bit better prepared NEXT time.

Well we've all "been in the moment" pureorganic. We're not just shooting from the hip. Right now you're consumed by false hope and empty promises.

SHE DUMPED YOU SO SHE COULD SEE OTHER GUYS. Say it over and over.

Hey Guys, its day 28 of no contact! Its been crazy hard and I still think about her everyday but the dreams have stopped... I've had problems with viewing her face book, the and I found out she put her wall posts and pics on private and said screw and deleted her... I still have this false hope that every time my phone vibrates its going to be her. Ya I miss her, but I'm moving forward. Well ill keep you guys updated... the funny things is I have no desire to date or move on, but I guess I'm just doing it because there's no other options. Anyway, thanks for all the support... I LOVE THESE FORUMS!! Its freakin amazing therapy reading that other people are going through the same crap!

Yeah this forum is amazing. It helps me a lot too, to read that other people are going through the same stuff.

You should not date other girls if you're not ready for it. Heal first!

pureorganic, I have lost it like you have in a break up before, it is normally and people react differently.
I get frustrated too, wondering if there is love out there sometimes. Hang in there! Your young! This is a new world these days, people settle down a lot later now. You will find true love when you least expect it!