Well I smoke a little weed to help me keep eating but the dreams just hurt me so damn bad and I don't have friends or family to talk to so I'm really alone right now

I wouldn't start taking sleeping pills. Those things are easy to get addicted to, and you don't need that on top of all that's going on in your life.

Do you have anyone that you can talk to about this? Any friends or family that can help?

What about getting to the gym. I know that it helps to burn off the steam AND makes you tired as all get out! Have you tried that?

You've got to start taking control of your own emotions. Emotions are like a roller coaster, they're fun for a while when you ride them to the exhilerating highs of life, but when you hit the crashing lows, they can be rough. But the thing about roller coasters? You have to get off.

You have to choose to stop dwelling on this. I've been through horrific break ups (basically left at the altar by the man I thought was my dream), but there comes a time when I had to get up, wipe off my tears, and start taking control of my life. It's a choice. Only YOU can make it.

No I don't really got any friends the only one I got which is my childhood friend is in the navy. I haven't really been in touch with him for awhile and I don't talk to family

Then start doing things that are productive and will help you get over this.

Go to the gym. Run. Start some kind of physical activity that will take your mind off it, help burn off steam, and help you sleep.

You've got to take control of yourself. Only you can do it.

Yea I know but I just don't know where to start and when she finds someone else and I'm not over her by then ill have no clue how ill be able to handle it.

Stay off the weed for a bit. As a regular smoker myself I can honestly say that its good to go clean for a while. It will force you to deal with your emotions and you will soon feel the urge to be more social.

Instead of thinking about not having anyone close to talk to, go out and meet new people. Join a group, hiking, climbing, jogging, yoga... whatever. Easiest way to meet new people.

Your 20 and I know its super bad to lose love, you have your whole life in front of you.

But most important for now stay off the weed for a few days. It will also give you something else to focus on. Keep in mind after 7 days of no smoking you will be more depressed than usual for a few days. Just keep reminding yourself it's the emotional dependency you have for the spliff.

If you want to chat to someone I can give you my msn addy. Not sure if that's allowed here.

You start by finding a gym close to you. If you can't find a gym, then put your sweats and sneakers on and go for a walk or a run. You start being active.

You have to choose to get over this. Right now, all you're doing is thinking about it over and over and of course it's killing you inside! I know that pain! It is devastating.

But, you MUST take that first step - it's a literal step toward the door.

Google gyms in your area. Find a YMCA, something that you can DO. When you find it, GO.

No gyms? Sign off the computer, get your sweats and sneakers on, and go take a run.

I don't think it is but I don't got msn anyway. But it will be kind of tough to stay clean because it makes me feel so much better and I feel it would make it easier and help me sleep also. I'm kind of limited to physical stuff because I got a torn tendon in my ankle. Maybe ill just go drive around since I love to drive.

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Originally Posted by icemantj

i dont think it is but i dont got msn anyways. but it will be kinda tough to stay clean because it makes me feel so much better and i feel it would make it easier and help me sleep also. im kinda limited to physical stuff because i got a torn tendon in my ankle. maybe ill just go drive around since i love to drive.

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There you go. Go drive. Take your camera with you and take a few pictures. You can upload them onto this thread. Show us what you found!

Its little and silly, but its something.

Shoot us a picture! :)

And about the weed. It's destroying your brain and is dreadfully bad for your health. You should stop. Period. Both of you (LJDK), actually! :)

This might sound dumb but I've also been chillen with my cat lol he is my best buddy I've had him since I was 8 but he makes me feel better. So maybe ill go volunteer at a pet shelter to keep my mind of her. I don't know I guess your right I got to just try new things.

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Originally Posted by icemantj

this might sound dumb but ive also been chillen with my cat lol he is my best buddy ive had him since i was 8 but he makes me feel better. so maybe ill go volunteer at a pet shelter to keep my mind of her. i dunno i guess your right i gotta just try new things.

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That's an AWESOME idea!! Wow! What a cool thing to do.

I completely understand though. My cat is my buddy. They know just what to do when we're upset, don't they! :)

I'd Google shelters in the area and sign up! That's a great thought.

New things = Best way to meet new people.

Yea ill try all the things you guys told me so far I think I'm going to see a therapist to once I get the money because I think I have a lot of stuffed build up in me right now and I need someone to talk to that will listen.

Just remember a therapist is going to ask you if you smoke spliff. Be truthful as it does have an effect on our moods.

The link I am giving you is for a site called meetup.Maybe you have heard of it.
Different events are posted throughout the U.S. and I believe Canada as well.
It just where people meet for various clubs, support groups volunteer projects ,hobbyist's and collectors.All kinds of things.And it's a cool way to meet like minded people who share your interest.
Check it out.
http://www.meetup.com/

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Originally Posted by icemantj

yea ill try all the things you guys told me so far i think im goin to see a therapist to once i get the money because i think i have alot of stuffed build up in me right now and i need someone to talk to that will listen.

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Most cities have a sliding scale mental health program.
Call your local department of mental health and ask them what ,if any programs are available for you because of your lack of income.

There is also pastoral counseling and often you do not have to be a parishioner.A small donation of 10 dollars to the church is acceptable.Call your local churches.

There are resources out there if you are asking for mental health treatment.You can also apply for state funded medical coverage.Medicaid.

Sometimes its just the matter of finding the right person to listen to you to get you help.
Many mens shelters also offer pastoral counseling.

There is always someone at Alcoholics Anonymous to guide you in the right direction. She has a problem also, so drop the guilt, and self pity, and get busy getting facts, to get solutions.

Update... I'm still talking to my ex but I am not hurting as much tonight as I was yesturday. I finnaly slept but I still feel really tired so I might try to sleep a little more to let my body recover. We decided that we need to go her own way but she is upset and keeps thinking I am talking to other girls and starts insulting me. I am not talking to any girls but she doesn't beleave me. She says she crys every night because she says I am sleeping with other people already. I don't know what to do I don't want to cause her any pain but she is kind of bringing her own pain on since she won't beleave me

You really need to stop talking to her, since you have decided to go your own way.

Read the stickies, they will give you some good ideas about how to get through a break up. There is a link in my signature.

Ice, its time for NC.
Stop talking to the ex,its not going to make any of you feel better. Time to live your own life