Well for one, I have told her that the things she does are bothersome and she will say OK, but then a day later say "hello darling" or silly things like that. And yeah, I have spoken to a couple close people about it who seem to think that she just wants to get into my pants (not my words, theirs) which bothers me because I feel no attraction to her.

Have you told her this?

That you think she's attracted to you and that you are not interested in her in this way whatsoever.

Sarah

You can show her your not interested in her by ignoring her , she'll eventually get the hint.

Don't give her any attention. If you give her attention, she will have more leverage against you. Just ignore her. You don't want to lead her on either, especially since you say you're not attracted to her.

As for your friends, if they know you well enough, they won't listen to her when she tries to turn them against you. Just clear things up with your friends if you have to.

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Originally Posted by I wish

Don't give her any attention. If you give her attention, she will have more leverage against you. Just ignore her. You don't want to lead her on either, especially since you say you're not attracted to her.

As for your friends, if they know you well enough, they won't listen to her when she tries to turn them against you. Just clear things up with your friends if you have to.

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Yeah, I have been avoiding her as much as possible lately, both in person and online. And as for my friends, they come to me and ask what the hell she is doing, they even saw what she was trying to do and were like wow she's weird, etc.

Threads merged

Ok, so I haven't been in a relationship for just under two months, but I feel like I'm missing having someone in my life and don't know why or how to feel better about being alone. I mean, I could obviously try to find someone else but even that seems daunting.

What should I do?

Read the stickies:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ed-123862.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...up-303761.html

They should give you some insight. Until you feel comfortable enough with yourself, take your time before entering into another relationship. The kinds of feelings that you are explaining to us is the exact reason why it's a good time for you to be on your own and work on yourself. Do things to help boost your self-esteem and confidence level.

Enjoy your time with yourself.

Don't force things to happen in your life.

Pick up a hobby, take a class, do some volunteer work, etc.

Sooner or later, you will cross paths with someone with the same interests.

Good luck to you.

The above answers you received is pretty much all you need to know.

Just be assured you are not "alone" in feeling the way you are. We've all been there at some point. It's how you handle this "alone" time that's important. Define who YOU are first. Just having someone, anyone to be with is not the answer.

Once you are happy and content being "alone", when you least expect it... love may come walkin' in. Best wishes

The longer you are single it will become easier and, if you can believe it, enjoyable. Just think, you have all this free time to do whatever you want to do. You don't have to spend a dime on anyone else so treat yourself good. Two months is really not very long. Ive been single for about a year now, and Ive learned a lot about myself and others as well, I have time to be a better friend to the ones I have and in turn made some new ones. You will find that you might get some things done you thought you'ld never start. Give it a chance and some time. Hope the best for you.

Honestly, I was thinking the same time when my ex left me, 2 month later. Though 6 month later I can see the advantages of being alone and it's honestly one of my greatest time in my life.

I've lost weight, been partying, making new friends, being closer to my family, my friends, dated without anything serious, joined a volunteering group, concentrated on my studies, have gotten way more girls looking at me and flirting with me...
I feel much more complete and happy then I ever was when I was with someone. There are days where I'm a bit down because I don't have someone, but then I go out and have some fun.

So what I suggest is let it go, be free, you can understand what it means to enjoy yourself alone and that is important if you would like to grow in life.

See all of this I understand.. but going to the same school or having common friends makes me hear about her or see her (or even see her posts online.. facebook, etc) when I really could do without it.

For example, this weekend, I jammed with my band twice, worked and joined Monster Gym.. so I was all pumped because I was getting out there and all that stuff.. and then I get home and see that she wrote on this guy's wall. The same guy that ultimately caused the downfall of our relationship (even though the problems with him happened quite some time ago, he was a reoccurring problem). I know that he know has a Gf, but for whatever reason, seeing it makes me feel sick and crappy. I hate this feeling and when I get into this mood, I don't know what to do. I mean, it's almost midnight and I'm not tired, but I can't really listen to music loud or go bang around on my drums!

Killer, give yourself sometime. Two months in a lifetime is not very long. As you get out more and socialize more, it will get easier. Make friends of both genders who don't know her. She isn't everywhere though it may feel that way.

When you find yourself thinking about her or looking at some guy's Wall where she might have posted, allow yourself a smile at the good times then go on to the next site. Let her become part of your past that someday you will remember fondly.

Look forward knowing that there are other women out there who might be trying to approach you.

Thanks Cat. Yeah, normally I try to watch TV or write something on piano when I can't get on my drums. I think another woman showing interest in me might do wonders for my self-esteem and to see that there is still a lot of life to live. I can think these things.. but it's more a matter of actually knowing it from experience I suppose

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Originally Posted by KillerInstinct

..but it's more a matter of actually knowing it from experience I suppose

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Unfortunately, you only get that by living.

By the way, you're welcome.

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

Unfortunately, you only get that by living.

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.. and its being able to just live which I'm still somewhat suffering with getting to do properly

Killer: Have you ever thought about giving Facebook a rest for awhile?

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Originally Posted by kctiger

Killer: Have you ever thought about giving Facebook a rest for awhile?

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I try. I try to open it less. But it's always there. What's worse is while dating, I had added her mother.. who kept writing (commenting) on things I posted until the point where I just sent her a polite message asking her not to for a while.

Honestly I had to give FB up for around 6 months after my break up. It just created drama and thoughts that I didn't need. Facebook is a cool site for networking or what have you, but for a break up it is evil, pure evil.

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Originally Posted by kctiger

Honestly I had to give FB up for around 6 months after my break up. It just created drama and thoughts that I didn't need. Facebook is a cool site for networking or what have you, but for a break up it is evil, pure evil.

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I can't agree more. It literally pushes you to not be over him/her. I think I go on to play farmville.. and then end up checking around. UGH