Ask Me Help Desk - Caught in the middle

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Originally Posted by Tuscany

Now she believes I hate her. Could this be making her so unstable? She is usually so levelheaded and calm.

Leave her be for abit then I would call her seeing as you value you her a friend :)

And the ending has begun... My friend in a drunked stupor called James last night at 1:30 am. He was home, in bed, and not very happy for the phone call. THANK GOD I WAS NOT WITH HER! Anyway, he told her that he was not interested, that he was sorry that things were like this, but to please not call him again. She is heartbroken because he is her "one true love." But hey at least he told her, not at the best time, I'll give you that... but at least it was said. Thanks everyone... hopefully she can make it through this.

She will.
Time does heal :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuscany

And the ending has begun...My friend in a drunked stupor called James last night at 1:30 am. He was home, in bed, and not very happy for the phone call. THANK GOD I WAS NOT WITH HER!! Anyway, he told her that he was not interested, that he was sorry that things were like this, but to please not call him again. She is heartbroken because he is her "one true love." But hey at least he told her, not at the best time, I'll give you that...but at least it was said. Thanks everyone...hopefully she can make it through this.

I think we all get "liquid courage" when we are drinking! I have a friend who does the same thing! Once she starts drinking too much I take her phone away from her! (Yes... unfortinately I am always the designated driver when we go out of town). NOT A GOOD THING TO DRINK AND MAKE PHONE CALLS!!

My husband calls it drunk dialing

Sometimes I do it... embarressing

Hi guys... I hate to keep bringing this up but I am having such a hard time with this situation again and I really could use some advice. My I am staying out of it discussion with both of my friends was working REALLY well until this weekend. We were at a mutual friend's son's 5 year old birthday and the whole gang was there. James had already talked to my friend about not wanting a relationship and ending what they were doing because he did not want to cause any undue heartache.

Everything was great at the party, until my friend hit my husband with this statement. "It is fate...James and I are meant to be together...we are both here today." To which the hubby replied "We are all friends...that is why he is here." She ranted and raved (thankfully outside) that he was not supporting her. My hubby walked away before it got heated.

Then it got worse. James had to leave early from the party due to a work function. She then took to ranting and raving at me about how I have not supported her and I obviously don't want them together because I did not MAKE him stay. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I said. He is a grown man with obligations. Her response was calling me a b*&ch and then going into the corner to sulk.

I felt so bad I could cry. I mean come on we are at a CHILD's birthday party. Must we bring our personal lives everywhere... and to accuse me of not making him stay. I was livid. Now she has e-mailed me this hurtful e-mail about how I am two faced and unsupportive. I have been nothing but upfront with her on my position on this situation. I do not want to be involved! Now James knows that she went crazy and is even more turned off then ever.

We used to be such good friends... and I am so hurt by all this that I don't know what to do anymore.

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We used to be such good friends... and I am so hurt by all this that I don't know what to do anymore.

We all learn to our dismay, the people we thought were friends turn out not to be, as sad as that is to find out, it also lets you know what she is about and you can diminish contact, and put distance between you two. Heartbreaking I know.

I think it is time you put your foot down and put a stop to this nonsense once and for all.

I think in your quest to be such a great friend you are letting her walk all over you and treat you in way she has no right to treat you.
Stand up for yourself once and for all and tell her she is acting like a child, to grow up and accept that there is nothing and will never be anything between her and james.

She probably won't like it, because it is the truth, but the longer you foot around this issues and let her carry on like this the longer you are going to feel so miserable about the whole situation.

Until you do everything in your power to put a top to her crazy actions then you are going to have situation like this!

Well, she's clearly over the top, out to lunch, and off the deep end. It's tragic, but in a way easier than if she wasn't quite so far out of line. You certainly don't need to be apologetic for telling her straight up that she's being completely unreasonable and needs to get a grip on reality.

Wow... does she think that you can "make" James fall in love with her! If the feelings aren't there... then they aren't there... PERIOD! Nothing you say to him is going to change his mind! Why she can't see this is beyond me!

I suggest you do not respond to her "hurtful" e-mail and keep your distance until she is ready to apologize to you!