Sounds hopeful. The key is not to be fake. You'll never be able to live up to the expectations you set for yourself. Ask her what she needs and find what will work for both of you. It sounds like you found a good one, though. Hopefully life has sucked enough for you the past month to where you never revert back.

Finally, take things slowly when you finally get back together with her. Don't expect any physical aspects of the relationship until you settle in. Treat it like a first date. If you rush things you'll revert back to what/who you were.

Hope this helped.

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Originally Posted by kc1967

Whether I get back with her or not, no woman in my life will ever be treated as she was again.

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This is the most hopeful thing about it. Sometimes the people who teach us things don't stick around to reap the benefits of the lesson, but in the big picture, it all works out. You've learned a really valuable lesson that will contribute to your happiness for the rest of your life, regardless of who you spend it with. Concentrate on gratitude for this, and don't feel too bad if it isn't with this particular person.

Just take things slow and easy. You can't be something you're not and you're not going to change the person that you fundamentally are. Ultimately you've got to learn to accept yourself just the way you are and others in your life have to do likewise. That's not to say that you can't "polish up your act" a bit but if you change too much too fast, she'll see that as pressure also and you already know you need to avoid that at all costs.

You are actually going to sit on your butt and wait to see if she is coming back in 6 months? I thought we put that to bed in your other thread?

Thanks for the feedback all. She doesn't want to wait 6 months before seeing me she said that's just how long it might take for her to see that's this is going to be the right way to go with us (maybe see some changes in me;changes I want for myself). She wants to date me during this period but she wants me not to have any expectations other than these simply just being dates. If she's willing to start with a few dates with me doesn't this sound like she's giving me a second chance?

She wants her cake and eat too. Move on Dude. I don't like flakey chicks like this.

She has ALL the control. You don't want that. Have a spine and say no - walk away. The ball will deep in her court. YUCK!!

That's really unattractive - her have all the controal - she Won't BE ATTRACTED to you - and it won't work out.

You have to be the man - you don't do every thing she says - wow - that's such 'nice guy' ish.

If you wait too long, feelings have a chance of changing.
If you don't wait at all, it's too rushed.

You have a say in how this goes too, if you do want this then do it, just be aware of the 'rules', as it seems. But if you want something more than what she is demanding, end it with her completely, before you end up just like this 6 months down the road.

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Originally Posted by Sentra

If you wait too long, feelings have a chance of changing.
If you don't wait at all, it's too rushed.

You have a say in how this goes too, if you do want this then do it, just be aware of the 'rules', as it seems.

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Thank you. What do you mean by the rules?

The rules, as in, the boundaries she's trying to set on how things are going to go if/when you two get back together, the whole 'just dates' thing. Isn't really fair, you know?

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Originally Posted by Sentra

The rules, as in, the boundaries she's trying to set on how things are going to go if/when you two get back together, the whole 'just dates' thing. Isn't really fair, you know?

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Your saying it isn't fair that she wants to date me for a little while before just jumping back into the same ol routine with me?

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Originally Posted by kc1967

Thanks for the feedback all. She doesnt want to wait 6 months before seeing me she said thats just how long it might take for her to see thats this is going to be the right way to go with us (maybe see some changes in me;changes i want for myself). She wants to date me during this period but she wants me not to have any expectations other than these simply just being dates. If shes willing to start out with a few dates with me doesnt this sound like shes giving me a second chance?

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How will you feel if she finds some one new?
How will you feel if she needs MORE TIME?
How will you feel if you found out That you saying you will change for her is your ticket to slavery and misery?
How will you feel if I told you the path your own is destructive and you are doing nothing for yourself? I could ask you questions all day but in the end it is your choice. But before I go, Find one person here who doesn't think she is stringing you along having her fun and doesn't give a damn about you. And NO the way you are now your hope is misplaced and an exercise in futility. If you don't love yourself , and you clearly don't, then how in the world do you think someone will love you? Learn the difference between FOOLS GOLD and REAL GOLD.

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Originally Posted by kc1967

Your saying it isnt fair that she wants to date me for a little while before just jumping back into the same ol routine with me?

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That's exactly right.

I have a feeling he will hate it. She'll be off with hother guys and he'll be sititng there are home pinning.

Don't do it.

I hope I'm wrong, but how do you stop someone from running head first into a brick wall?

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Originally Posted by Wildcat21

I have a feeling he will hate it. She'll be off with hother guys and he'll be sititng there are home pinning.

Don't do it.

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She's a conservative mormon who has never been interested in meeting guys. I left the country for a year and encouraged her to see other people while I was gone which she did. She dated and still after a year of me being gone and datin gother people said that she wasn't interested in meeting other people.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I hope I'm wrong, but how do you stop someone from running head first into a brick wall?

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Tell them that it will hurt, then hand them a helmet and a wink. The helmet is for impact, and the wink? That's left up for debate.

If she isn't interested in meeting other people, why does she want to just 'date'. Being a couple doesn't mean things can't be taken slowly, right? I am just trying to understand this.

Because she has the influence of her friends and family all telling her not to even date me to just move on. She is meeting in the middle I think by just going out with me a few times prob to have some ammunition to go back to her family with as well as bolster her confidence that being a couple is a posssibility again and won't be the same crap it was before. If she's not dating other people and she's is only dating me isn't that a couple spending some time together seeing how things go?

So your saying you are dating right now? Or what?

We are going to dinner and a movie on Sunday night.