Almost exactly a month ago I made a topic here about my breakup with my girlfriend here's the link to it :

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...gf-415715.html

Well it's a month since our breakup, we didn't really talk a lot since, we pretty much only leave each other comments on bebo and that's about it no text and no calls.

About a week ago I went to my friend's girlfriends party and she was there as well, we kind of messed around dancing and at one point we have held our hands and it felt that we didn't want to let go, or least that what it felt like.

Last night we went to a concert together with her friends and sister. We bought the ticket 2 months before we broke up. We were just messing around and this time we end up holding hands and we kissed each other once. The next time I try to kiss her she said no but we're still holding hands and I have my arm around her waist, she didn't say stop or anything. After the concert me, her and her friends were going to get food. We held hands for a bit and she just messing with my hands and let go for a bit and held on for a bit, she gave me a big hug, things just didn't feel awkward at all, felt kind of normal too :confused:

Right now I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure if she still single and she still interested in me?:confused:

Well to save yourself any heartache why don't you ask her.

Be straight up..

If she says no,or I don't know or I'm not sure... walk away.

This relationship has already hurt you,don't do it again.

What have you learned from the last time?

Communicate..
Talk to her,be honest... but don't be a fool for her.

Ask her and tell her you want an honest answer. If she doesn't know what she wants you protect your heart by walking away and continue doing your own thing.

You've got to talk to her. Sounds like you're getting some mixed signals from her, so it's hard to determine what this all means. She may be having 2nd thoughts OR she may want to keep you as a back up plan in case she doesn't find another relationship.

Beware - you might be setting yourself up for more pain and heartache. Do you really want to go through that with her again? :confused:

You had a great time at the concert, so don't ruin it with false hope, and a yearning that things are looking better for you with her. Sure you still want her back, but its not your call to make, and I think you should leave her alone, and refrain from any continued pursuit of her. WHY? Because she dumped you, knows how you feel, and its her place to seek you out.

If she doesn't then your already free to do your thing without her, and you can recover from having your old feelings stirred up, yet again, by going to this concert.

Lets be real, you have never gotten beyond the break up, so this was a dream come true being with her again.

Don't let those good feelings lead back to the limbo you were in before, so for now, leave it alone, and let your emotional dust, and high hopes, settle down so you can sort your own feelings out in a realistic way.

Dude if she wants you back, she will let you know. So why rush back into being a desperate ex boyfriend who wants the girl.

Give this time, and thought, before you decide what to do about it, and give in to any impulses that only look good on paper.

Its been 3 weeks since the concert, we haven't seen each other, text each or talked to each other besides the usual comments that we leave each other on bebo. Neither of us said anything about what happened in the concert.

Now about 2 weeks ago my best friend said that her girlfriend thinks my ex is seeing the guy that she has been hanging out with but when my best friend got this news it was before the concert took place. Nobody seem to know, including my ex's friends, who haven't said anything to me or to anyone even when were out (me and my friends hangs out with my ex's friends but my ex doesn't go out with us at all). And I'm not going to ask since it doesn't seem to be my place to.

So tomorrow night lot of people are going to my ex's best friend's party and that is including me because I agreed to go a month before hand. My ex is going and probably that guy as well.

I'm not sure how I should go about with this if they are really seeing each other, even though its none of my business anymore. But I don't want to end up feeling down since I'm still not completely over her. What should I do? And I actually thought not going to drink if they are with each other because my emotion might act up on me. I'm definitely going to go since I don't want to miss the birthday and hanging out with my friends later.

Thanks for the replies, much appreciated.

Sorry Scribble-was the party last night? If so how did things go?

The party last night was pretty. I think my ex is seeing the guy that she has been hanging out with. Nobody seem to be sure about it. They don't really do anything flirty but they are always around each other. They always sit beside each other and always talking, the whole night I just try not to look at them.

I'm trying to accept this fact that my ex is already seeing another guy but I find it hard to because of all the things she had said to me from before the breakup and during the breakup.

Before the breakup, she told her mum that she loves me and her mum bought her two bracelet, one with her name and one with the date when we started dating which is my birthday.

During the days close to our breakup she told me that she will not be in a relationship for a long time if we breakup. And now she seems to be seeing another guy, barely a month later. And this guy was the one she said she doesn't like prior to our breakup a month ago.

I know a person's feeling will change over time but it feels like for those past months the things she said to me and the letters she wrote to me all means nothing now. And the things I did for her writing her letters, going to the dentist with her cos she doesn't like going alone, even though I was sick and I went around to collect these hello kitty dolls for her when I was on holidays cos you can't get those ones in where I live. For the entirety of last night seeing her with another guy really puts a dent in my heart. But I did not say anything to her besides having random conversations. I know its none of my business anymore.

Any advice to getting over this?

Thank you.

Sadly what people say and what they actually do sometimes don't match up,though she probably meant it at the time.
You will get over her, with time and by staying away from her business. There's no magic wand but keeping busy and doing your own thing will help.
Take care.

!st love= hard 1st fall. Sucks but let it go regroup and be happy with yourself.

Thanks for the replies.

I'm starting absolutely NC, I'm not checking her page and I'm not going to post any comment. There are times when there is that urge to click on a new tab on my browser then go to her page but I manage to hold myself back and whenever thoughts of us getting back together entered my mind I just tell myself "We are over and we won't get back." As well as reading topics here, this site is quite addictive haha.

This coming Saturday my best friend is having a birthday thing and we're going out but not sure if I should go, in case my ex would be there. I don't want to see her and that guy because it will just make me feel down again. At the same time I don't really want to miss this birthday thing since its my best friend, I'm tempted not to show up if she is coming though. If I don't show up am I just begin a coward?

Any advice to this situation?

Thank you.

Its not being a coward. Its taking care of your feelings and yourself. Its what you should be doing.

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But not sure if I should go, in case my ex would be there.

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If your rather live in fear about "what ifs, that's your choice. I would not attempt to hide out, because of fear.

That sucks my friend, as in most cases where an ex "wants space" it's because they want to pursue other options. I went through the whole "I want a break" type thing with my ex, and that eventually led to a breakup. I don't know if it was because there was somebody else or not. I highly doubt it, but I couldn't care less if there was because I'm #!$@ing amazing. This is the mindset that you need to adopt. It's their loss. They made their decision, let them lie in the bed they made. It's time for you to move on to bigger and better things. Time to get back in the gym and start doing stuff you enjoy! Good luck my man!

I wouldn't let the maybes get in the way of my social life,besides it's your best friend, so I'd say go and enjoy his day and ignore the ex should she be there.

Hello all, its almost been full 5 months since I last posted.

Me and my ex got back together almost 2 weeks ago. It happened kind of sudden but in a way I know it might happen.

It was about the third month since we broken up that she start saying she misses me on MSN, I was trying not to contact her but I find it really difficult to restraint myself when she contacts me. Then last month, March she invited me out with her friends to go to cinema. It was a really good day we both had fun.

Last month the Friday after St Patrick's day we met up again and went to the cinema. In there we kissed, I can tell we both wanted each other and I missed her too but made no mention of it until we got back together.

Now were back together, she is also now living in Navan which is 2 hours bus journey away from where I live. She had an argument with her family and got kicked out of her house to live with her Dad which wasn't really her fault. She said she has been really stressed and depressed. Last Saturday when we are meeting up in Town after her grinds. She was balling out of her eyes crying, she told me that when she asked her Dad to be collected he said "Your ruining people's lives" but he did not mean it like that way which she knows but it still upsets her badly. She also told me she doesn't really want to come out today. Through out the period of the day she has been crying and saying very negative stuff such as "oh I'm gonna kill myself" or "I'm gonna leave this country as soon as I can". When I ask her what she wants to do, she just doesn't care. I feel bad that I can't do much to help her or what to say to her.

After that day it felt different. It seems different when texting her, there aren't much response and its usually like "yes" or "no" response, just short and non motivated. She told me she doesn't like when people is been touchy with her and finds it hard to connect with people anymore. I asked her does she mean it when she said that she loves me. She said yeah she never had stopped loving me.

I don't know what she is thinking, whenever she text me it feels like she doing it only because we are going out or something and she doesn't seem to care if she sees me or not over the course of these 2 weeks that we are both on holidays. I know she can't go out unless her Dad gives her a lift but when I ask if she wants to come over to mine, it just feels she doesn't really want to. Maybe I'm just been paranoid which I hope.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thank you.

You can't be responsible for sorting out her problems for her,and it seems she has got plenty problems.

And nothing seems to have been solved regarding the problems that broke you up in the first place.

I don't want to sound pessimistic,but it seems to me your traveling down the same road again.

You can't fix her problems only she can, but beware, your taking her issues very personally, and should not!She has no time, or frame of mind to be thinking of your needs, when hers are so great, and unless you understand that and back off and be supportive, only more misery by you both is all you will accomplish.
Stop thinking like a needy, selfish, insecure boyfriend, and either just be a shoulder to cry on, and give silent support or leave her alone, which you should have done in the first place, just because she has issues you can't solve for her.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You can't fix her problems only she can, but beware, your taking her issues very personally, and should not!She has no time, or frame of mind to be thinking of your needs, when hers are so great, and unless you understand that and back off and be supportive, only more misery by you both is all you will accomplish.
Stop thinking like a needy, selfish, insecure boyfriend, and either just be a shoulder to cry on, and give silent support or leave her alone, which you should have done in the first place, just because she has issues you can't solve for her.

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Thanks talaniman,

Your right, I'm been needy, selfish and insecure boyfriend, and if I keep this up it will just make her and me more miserable and unhappy. And probably end up breaking us up again.

When you say "silent support", do you mean give her space?

Communicate honestly with her.

Like why you got back together, would be a start.

Doesn't sound like either one of you is jumping for joy over it.