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-   -   Baffled, Hurt and I Did Give Too Much of Myself Too Early. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=415139)

  • Dec 1, 2009, 04:18 PM
    talaniman

    LOL, you ran into a fruitcake and it was fun while it lasted. Notice every time you had a comment or question she pushed you away harder and harder, even if it was an apology. You really should have paid attention when she told you about the previous guys she has had.
    Quote:

    I will also add that she said that she's not trying to rush into anything and I told her that neither am I. She also added that she falls hard for men, and she has had to let a lot of them go. She is a nine year divorcée.

    That was your clue to back away and pay attention as this fruitcake requires an awful lot of space.

    The good news, she is in the past, The really good news is you don't have to look back.
  • Dec 1, 2009, 04:44 PM
    Devorameira
    Her actions sound a liitle strange. It's hard to figure her out. Maybe she's got a boyfriend already, maybe she thought you were pushy, maybe she just didn't feel any chemisry. :confused: I'd stay away from her. You may be lucky that it ended there.
  • Dec 1, 2009, 05:10 PM
    LivingtheLifeinFLA

    I am going with what Devorameira is saying. My take is she has an on again off again boyfriend who is coming back on again.

    She figured you would run up and have a little tryst and be cool and quiet about it (I mean you are about 500 miles away). You pressured her to be a girlfriend and she freaked. How is she going to explain this to the guy she really likes?

    When she said she falls hard and gets rid of guys a lot, it probably means she gets down quick and then these puppy dog guys fall for her.

    The only guy that turns her on is the challenge, the guy who doesn't return her calls and makes her chase him. Something you were the complete opposite of!

    Look, no big deal, she's too far away anyway.
  • Dec 4, 2009, 01:45 PM
    westernport

    Amazingly, just out of curiosity -- everything was still ruminating in my head -- I Googled her name, and she joined some forum and noted now that she was "In a Relationship"...

    Wow. I guess it all *really* makes sense now. I feel a bit relieved now, but at least I found out the truth.

    I definitely feel better it was not my fault and the weird behavior has a story. She stonewalled so much that I knew in the back of my mind something beyond shady was going on, especially after helping her out.

    Quite a shi**y thing to do, if you ask me.

    Thanks again for the help, but I guess this is the danger of online-dating...
  • Dec 4, 2009, 01:51 PM
    westernport
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by LivingtheLifeinFLA View Post
    I am going with what Devorameira is saying. My take is she has an on again off again boyfriend who is coming back on again.

    She figured you would run up and have a little tryst and be cool and quiet about it (I mean you are about 500 miles away). You pressured her to be a girlfriend and she freaked. How is she going to explain this to the guy she really likes?

    When she said she falls hard and gets rid of guys alot, it probably means she gets down quick and then these puppy dog guys fall for her.

    The only guy that turns her on is the challenge, the guy who doesn't return her calls and makes her chase him. Something you were the complete opposite of!

    Look, no big deal, she's too far away anyway.

    I never pressured her to be anything, in fact was she very much the aggressor. I only contacted her a few times after that, and she just got very weird. Seriously, I only felt a few comments on Facebook, and then it got strange. I didn't call her, and sent her one text. The M.O. of communication didn't change -- it just flipped all of a sudden.

    There's no use crying over spilled milk, it's over.
  • Dec 4, 2009, 02:11 PM
    westernport
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    LOL, you ran into a fruitcake and it was fun while it lasted. Notice every time you had a comment or question she pushed you away harder and harder, even if it was an apology. You really should have paid attention when she told you about the previous guys she has had.

    That was your clue to back away and pay attention as this fruitcake requires an awful lot of space.

    The good news, she is in the past, The really good news is you don't have to look back.

    Yeah, I learned this the hard way. I wasn't really sure what I was apologizing for at the time, because everything seemingly went so well that I wanted to catch up with her. In fact, she'd found me on FB that morning we chatted. It's not like I texted her 5 times that day, or called umpteen times -- it was just some website that was the source of communication those past few days.

    There were so many red flags I should have caught, but didn't because I was just so wrapped up into things. This really would not have worked out anyway, as the push-pull was so dramatic that it would have read like a TV-Movie of the week once it had ended.
  • Dec 4, 2009, 03:40 PM
    amicon

    Well you've learnt your lesson well,and the next time if any red flags flap in the wind you'll recognize them.
  • Dec 4, 2009, 06:08 PM
    westernport
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Devorameira View Post
    Her actions sound a liitle strange. It's hard to figure her out. Maybe shes got a boyfriend already, maybe she thought you were pushy, maybe she just didn't feel any chemisry. :confused: I'd stay away from her. You may be lucky that it ended there.

    Oh no, I don't know if it was a matter of chemistry. She was the aggressor -- she was the one who initiated the kissing and foreplay.

    I mean we kissed in her yard for nearly ten minutes before I got in my car and left. If anything, she left me compliments right and left about my looks, how easy I was to talk to all weekend.

    No, now that I'm reading all this -- I think I was a fun toy for the weekend and nothing serious would (or could) ever develop. I took a leap of faith, hoped stay in touch thereafter, but I was not caught.

    If I had known then what I know, it was one hell of a dangerous risk to spend the weekend with her and meet the kids.
  • Dec 9, 2009, 12:13 PM
    2ndTime

    Maybe you should avoid aggressive women next time.

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