It's all about experience, the more you try, the better you become at it.
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It's all about experience, the more you try, the better you become at it.
Emopunk, your approach is interesting. I'll bust out my protractor when I get near to her. That should get her attention for sure :D
I agree so far with the eye contact, smiling, etc... these are things I've been working on lately. I'm still of the belief that you can't just approach a girl like that. Out of the blue. It creeps them out no?
It depends HOW you approach them. Girs like the attention and getting approached so don't worry about it.
If a stranger came up to me and wanted to argue about abortion, I'd assume he was a nut and stay as far away as possible after that.Quote:
Originally Posted by --Charles--
Why would anyone not like people? If a stranger came up and told me that they like people, I would just assume they were trying to make themselves look good.Quote:
4. Start talking about your outlook on people (hopefully you care about a lot of people)
I thought you liked people? But it sounds like you think you are better than others.Quote:
5. Then get into more details about you, yourself. I tell of my morals (say love until you truly mean it, don't be a punk like the rest of the idiotic generation we're in, etc.).
Yes. But being manipulative and insincere is not.Quote:
Good Morals are attractive.
Why don't guys offer THEIR phone number? I recently had a guy ask me for my phone number. I didn't give it to him, but I would have accepted his.Quote:
6. Get her myspace/facebook/friendster. This will help A lot. Don't get her phone number just yet!
Three hours a day?Quote:
7. after about a week of myspace talking (about 3 hours a day probably) then ask her if she wants to hang out with you on the weekend and it will be your treat to pay for like the movie theaters or something (a date basically). Ask now for her phone number.
My best advice to the OP is not to approach strange girls just because they are pretty but to get to know more girls he can talk to in the usual way. Pretty girls get approached constantly by people with whom they have nothing in common. They get really good at NOT being drawn into conversations with these people.
OK let's go into more detail about HOW to approach them.
So I walk into the same public place every day. Pretend it's a coffeehouse, or a food court.
I see the same people every day.
I'm at the entrance now. I want to talk to a girl I've never spoken to. This time, she's alone. Guide my actions!
The problem I see with your question is someone else's style may not work for you. So find your own like we all did, trial and error, success or failure. It all starts with "HI, how ya doing today", the rest is you paying attention and going with the flow, because who can know her reactions?
You've seen her every day for three weeks, so you know she is taking a class in economics. You have smiled several times, briefly without following up so she knows you are not desperate or dangerous. She's noticed you.
She is reading the economics text again and you are sitting at the next table. You DON'T say something like, "That must be a really hard subject." Which might sound like she's not smart enough to do well in a challenging class. A lot of guys are convinced that insulting girls is a really good strategy for getting close to them. I'm not convinced.
So maybe you'd say, "Oh, I see you are reading about free markets." And then follow up with something relevant that will result in a conversation." A lot of things people say are hard to engage with. So if someone quips, "I wish these lattes were free." that's funny and all, but then what? Find out if she is an econ major, if she is interested in the course or is bored out of her mind. If she's serious about the topic, ask her about something she might have an opinion on (this is like Charles' idea about abortion, but obviously that's not a topic for first conversation!). And of course, don't pepper her with questions, as that feels invasive. If you know nothing about free markets, don't pretend you do.
Maybe she seems more artsy. Or maybe you are. Say something about the art on the walls and ask if what she thinks of a particular piece that you either don't like or do like. Obviously you want to try to draw her out, but you also want to show her who you are. Don't overreact if you both either agree or disagree about something. It's disconcerting when a guy acts like you are twins separated at birth because you both ordered mochas. :)
Look for something in common, but keep it light. You don't want her to stop going to the coffee shop to avoid another awkward conversation. If the conversation goes well, don't talk longer than 10 minutes or so. Say you have to leave even if you really don't. Not for the sake of being unavailable but to give her some space, so she doesn't feel like another interaction with you is going to be a long one. But at the end, say you hope to see her around. Once you are talking, I gather, you know what to do.
If you see her again and she smiles at you, talk some more. Be patient.
Good luck!
Good point Talaniman but I didn't phrase my question properly. Maybe I should just explain what goes through my head and maybe you can attack some of my issues that way. Thank you Asking!
So I'm at the entrance and I see a girl. I'm perfectly calm. I've been consciously working on things like posture, eye contact, calm speech for awhile, to the point where it's second nature to me now (took about a month and a half for me to be satisfied).
As I approach the tables, I see that I have an opportunity to talk with the girl. I look for eye contact. She returns it -- but only briefly. I sit down, and we exchange eye contact a few times, for longer than the initial eye contact. (The above has happened SO many times)
I want to prevent this from happening again.
Here is where I smile and say hey?
The rest is where I apply my own style (which as I've said, I've already developed sort of). I just feel like pointing it out, but I plan to use my powers (ie: ability to meet girls/people I don't know) for good (being a good guy) and not evil (ie: becoming a player, using/abusing girls etc).
Hum, all situations differ. You can never predict when you will have an opening to talk to a girl. It has to go with the flow basically.
I suggest that you try NOT to think too much about it or it will show. You really need to relax as much as possible and it will go with the flow.
Paxe, are you saying I should be passive about this, and not consciously try to improve this dimension of my life?
But then I will stay in my comfort zone and won't get anywhere! :D
All kidding aside, my demeanour is generally very relaxed, so I'm not worried about it visibly showing. I'm confident about this.
Just do it, until you get it right to your own satisfaction. Then you learn from your mistakes, and make adjustments.
Hahaha, sorry about that. Not at all. What I meant is that you need to change your comfort zone. Instead of your comfort zone not talking to beautiful girls, my comfort zone is actually talking to girls without thinking about it. I mean yes I think about it, but I don't get myself bothered by it.
This is why I have that much confidence in me. I know I can get a lot of girls ( I actually do ), but now I'm taking care of being single and enjoying life.
This is why it comes with experience, but when you approach a girl just bull about anything and everything will be all right. It's really not that hard.
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